[Unrigged64072835]

Been sick all day. Feeling a little better but not much.

[Wander]

Hardly slept. Feeling great. Is this hypomania coming on? I Had no extra anti psychotics. How can a strong benzo bring this on after a mixed state? I only had it for two days. Weird. Oh well, I’m enjoying the relief from the excruciating agitation. Hope it lasts and returns to stable.

I'm around-- just staying quiet. I don't have much to report and not a whole lot to say. Just wanted to tell everyone that I am OK.

[Nammu]

Christina? How are you fairing off your AP? Just want you to know I'm sending good vibes your way.

[beauflow]

I tried to post yesterday but deleted it.

This week has been hard, a lot of things have occured revolving around people.

I am back at this place where I am a little sick and tired of people, and just am not sure what good any treatment will do... I am ill because I see things differently? I see a truth that others like to hid and bury...
I am afraid I will lose my job due to I can not seem to keep some thoughts to myself.

yesterday reached back out to the place I was on a list for and got an appt next week with a therapist, so not waiting 6-8 weeks. in hopes they can direct me on where to go for a pdoc as I have had struggles with this.

I am two weeks behind on laundry, which is not me at all.
I go from so many thoughts to nothing at all. Things will be ok to I am crying and so much is felt. and worse yet memories and old feelings come about and I am stuck in time.... I have felt so busy and exhausted but yet nothing seems to be done, and I am running out of time... and yet thoughts of why silence beauty, even if it is misunderstood?
been trying to remind myself, some thoughts are just thoughts.
I will be ok, or if not- at least I tried. but I am sure this too will pass till whatever... the last two May/June's have been different and I am scared a bit.. but only time will tell.

[TheSeaCat]

Hi everyone; I hope everyone is doing well. I am still not feeling the best with everything that has suddenly been added to my plate. M had his physical for surgery along with gave over his charts to his supervising physician, and caught him up to spead on everything.

After work we got dinner with G and his wife; who will be taking care of the dogs since one of the dogs is very untrusting when it comes to gender of people so the dogs will be staying with them for a while after his surgery.

Pretty much everything is all in order now we just wait for the lab work and the Neurosurgeon's office will call and schedule it.

I'm doing okay I think; I'm not feeling the best with my feelings of worry.

Hugs to everyone

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Nammu

Christina? How are you fairing off your AP? Just want you to know I'm sending good vibes your way.

Thanks !!!!

Nothing thus far. My Husband is going to let me know if anything is off that I don’t notice.

The half life issue I’m working off a rough 2-3 weeks ....then my brain to function sans med about 4 week total I think that’s a realistic time line.

I appreciate the good vibes

[~Christina]

Least I have one less pill to swallow by dropping Latuda. We shall see how it plays out.

Our trip to Savannah is coming up soon .... the 15 th of April!!!! I’m so excited I feel like a kid at Christmas time LOL

feeling depressed

had breakfast and did my usual alexa games (5/15), that's pretty bay

back killing me as usual and can't think of many reasons to be greatful today. litirally the only thing that crosses my mind is that their's a nice breeze outside. it's lovely with my window open feeling the breeze

[Blueberrybook]

No sign of our cat. Afraid she may have died of poisoning from whatever it was. H thinks it could have been mastic, but she also reeked of something smelling like paint thinner or turpentine. I wonder if a cruel person did this as I do not see how a cat could have gotten so covered it it, fur to skin, head to toe to stomach, feet, and tail, like she'd been immersed in it The fumes from it alone made me fell blah all day yesterday, and I weigh 100 lb. more than a cat.
Afraid she has died but don't have the heart to go out searching.

Ache all over, both from struggling to bathe the cat, getting clawed and tripping over another cat trying to carry a bucket of warm water from the bathtub outside to the tub where I was trying to bathe the other cat, so the water would not be freezing cold. Fell on concrete so I am scraped all over. I didn't sleep well last night.

[pirilin]

Today, I'm in "maybe I'll recover" mode.
The fever has subsided. That's a plus.

However. all the bronchial membranes
(fancy isn't it?)" are obstructed.

This cold thing ain't helping my emphysema,
that's fer sure.

At least, I woke up again.
Any day above ground is a good day.

Cheers.

[hopeless2015]

/trigger/Drinking and gambling has been bad again here lately. I do good and feel good through the week then the weekend comes and I go batshit crazy drinking. I'm messing up the lamictal titration cause I drink too much and miss the night dose then lay in bed all morning and miss morning dose sometimes as well. I know what I need to do but keep doing the wrong thing. No ones fault but my own I know/trigger/

I hope I did the trigger right

Hugs to all that want or need them

Going to get out of bed and start some cleaning then take lunch to hubby who has to work this weekend

Originally Posted by hopeless2015

/trigger/Drinking and gambling has been bad again here lately. I do good and feel good through the week then the weekend comes and I go batshit crazy drinking. I'm messing up the lamictal titration cause I drink too much and miss the night dose then lay in bed all morning and miss morning dose sometimes as well. I know what I need to do but keep doing the wrong thing. No ones fault but my own I know/trigger/

I hope I did the trigger right

Hugs to all that want or need them

Going to get out of bed and start some cleaning then take lunch to hubby who has to work this weekend

the trigger thing didn't work right

what you have to do is

Possible trigger:

do this

and it should work

if you copy and paste this post, you'll see what I did to acheeve the trigger (I do this all the time if I want to post multiple coppies of the same message in other forums)

[yellow_fleurs]

It is a beautiful day today. Spent the morning grocery shopping and cleaning. So, my boyfriend and I have a number of tasty meals to make, and I feel much better now that the apartment is clean. We will be going on a picnic later today.

Do not remember if I already posted about this, but I am trying to decide it I should apply for a position at work. It is a long process and I would not start until next year, but I need to decide soon if I should apply. My supervisor is quite encouraging, but she does not know about my mental health and I am finding myself uncertain I can handle it. Not just that my mood will become unstable, but my cognitive functioning seems to not be a guarantee from day to day so it is difficult to feel I can commit myself to something very challenging. There is such a huge disparity in my functioning depending on how I am doing. Sometimes I can do so well and be such a quick learner, other times basic tasks like writing a sentence are hard. When I am having a rough time I find myself masking it a lot, trying not to let coworkers realize it is hard for me to speak, remember anything, or get form point A to point B, etc. I find it embarrassing honestly. :/

Hubby and I went to Home Depot to pick up things for one project, but inevitably one project turns into multiple ones.

We're trying to make a number of small improvements to our house, little by little, to prepare for a likely move in a few years. I would enjoy having them done sooner than later so I can actually enjoy them myself, even if briefly.

Our planned move is from the US to Europe (likely France). That's why I'm continuing my French studies. I was making lists of what we should keep (ship) and what we should sell/donate/discard. We have accumulated a lot of stuff these past 20+ years. It will cost a lot to replace things. I want to get a sense of that well ahead of time. Even little things will add up greatly.

[Daonnachd]

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

Our planned move is from the US to Europe (likely France).

I have twice stayed in Chartres. I loved it for the cathedral which has a massive labyrinth inlaid in the floor. Then I came back here to the Napa Valley and discovered one of our local churches has a labyrinth modeled on the one in Chartres cathedral. I like these labyrinths because walking them is a metaphor for the journey we travel through life. It's a metaphysical journey. Be sure you make a trip to Chartres to walk its labyrinth.

[Wander]

Busy day yesterday so I ended up crashing physically last night and still feel tired and sore this morning. Fibromyalgia. At least I know I haven’t gone hypomanic. Mentally I feel stable this morning. Going to have a rest day before a busy week full of medical appointments for various ailments. Hopefully I will at least get my hip looked at by ultrasound and then a cortisone injection to stop inflammation and recover soon after. I’m so fed up being so restricted.

I've had an alright day -- nothing new really. I guess my medicine has done a good job of evening me out. I feel a bit on the depressed side, but I'm OK. My days are repetitive and nothing really productive happens. I need to force myself to do more. I have projects and things I piddle around with, but I'm not putting actual energy into. I did take a shower today and I felt a lot better afterwards. I took my dog for a walk, and that as my day. I'm wasting away any " talent" that I used to have.

I feel like I've lost all ability that was once valuable. I was a teacher, I was relatively smart once upon a time. Now I can't even follow a line of questioning to the end to keep up with the response on a news program interview. I know I shouldn't be hard on myself but it's just where I am right now.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

I changed my sheets. I REALLY needed to do that. I just haven't had the motivation. So tonight I'm showered and on clean sheets. That feels good.

I think I may need my AD increased. I see my pdoc Monday so that's easy. I think grief is compounded by depression. I'm pretty sure she thought I was getting depressed a month ago. At that time I didn't think I was, I thought I was exhausted from being sick when I saw her, but now a lot more has happened and I'm not doing as well. The good thing with Emsam is that changes happen fast so if she increases it Monday I'll be improving by Wed. or Thursday.

I'm so tired now. Changing those sheets was hard. Hopefully I'll get to sleep earlier than my usual of late 1-2 AM.

Not much energy today. It took three tries to get out of bed. My handy man says he can come Monday or Tuesday to set up my keyboard stand. That's great -- i was afraid it would take weeks. So i will have something new to do next week. None too soon as i'm dying of boredom.