[Scooter9]

Originally Posted by whatever2013

I went out to a mall to try and distract myself from my depression. Near me in the foodcourt was a little girl with a hairband with a unicorn horn on it. She had a unicorn purse as well. What a little darling! Otherwise the trip was lousy and i feel miserable. It'll be four more weeks til the Lamictal is at a therapeutic level. I guess i just have to hold on til then, tho i've heard bad things about Lamictal in these parts.

Lamictal was a pain while titrating but once I hit the theraputic dose my depression went away very quickly. It worked really well for me.

Only suggestion I have for you is to request a liver function test about once a year. It's a blood test your doctor can do. There's a known reaction with Lamictal that affects your liver and you might not be aware it's happening. It happened to me after years of taking it.

Hang in there.

[lightly toasted]

I slept! ha ha, sorry, sleeping for me is quite a rarity - it's a bit like Santa Claus having been in the night.

I took the 50 mg dose of Seroquel , not the 100 mg, and what a huge difference. I hope everyone's Sunday/Monday is at least bearable.

[wildflowerchild25]

Originally Posted by Tryingtobehappy5

Day 3 at home and I feel so sad and overwhelmed. My last 2 days went well so im frustrated that I feel this way again. I am busy reminding myself that I am not my thoughts and emotions but they are so strong.

I hate wanting to die, wanting to give up, wanting to lay in bed until something happens no matter how bad that thing could be. 10hrs sleep and Im still just exhausted.

Have plans to take the kids to the farm for supper later so at least I cant lay in bed all day.

I just wanted this time to go well. I need it to go well but so far it is a struggle and I havent even made any decisions that I need to. I want to get off the roller coaster

It can be very hard to adjust to home after an IP stay, especially a long one. My last ip stay I was very fragile after I got home. Be easy on yourself and try not to let depression beat you. Use your CBT and distress tolerance skills.

[Moose72]

Beep. Boop. Yup. Uh huh..... I am one with the universe and I know all the answers! Suck on THAT Einstein!

[yellow_fleurs]

Spent a lot of time with friends the past couple day and I must say it's been good for my mental health. Also got a decent amount of sun, always good for my mood. Worked on starting the garden, including some planting. I still feel like things are a bit "clumsy" in my brain so to speak. I think I might see a neurologist or at least discuss with my rheumatologist. Of course psychiatric issues affect us mentally, but I wonder how much of my issues are related to whatever else is affecting me.
Anxious about the next week at work in general. I don't feel like I am functioning to my potential there and it's bothering me.

I see a few people are going through some changes with meds or other treatment and I am wishing everyone the best, and to please stay safe. Also sending compassion to those struggling.

I'm spent. My hopes for my father returning to the psych hospital from the general hospital are squashed. My siblings took him home last night. I believe we've either been told lies by him, or he's not been thinking clearly. We are all now wondering if he has developing dementia, worsening psychiatric issues, or both. His behavior has grown increasingly strange and he seems to be telling lies, some of which I wonder if he even sees as lies.

I told my sister that I am unable to handle this continuing stress and that I must rely on them to take on all of the responsibilities for these issues. I feel bad doing that, but they understand.

[wildflowerchild25]

I’ve been sleeping most of the day. Feeling kind of down. Finally up to go grocery shopping. Really don’t want to but I need ingredients for tonight’s dinner. If I were smart I’d plan dinner for the rest of the week too but that’s too much.

RS is going away on a week long vacation next week and I’m sad. I can’t believe I won’t see him for a whole week. I know it’ll be fine obviously we don’t have to be with each other 24/7 but I will miss him. Especially because I’ve gotten used to seeing him 4x a week. He wanted me to go but obviously I can’t take off work, I’m going back for the first time in two months on Wednesday.

I have two cigarettes left. I’m really going to try to make them my last two cigarettes. I’m tired of hiding from RS. It’s awful I don’t want to lie to him anymore. Lie by omission.

Oh well I hope I feel a bit better tomorrow.

[Innerzone]

Heard back from one of the potential jobs. Didn't get it. That was the one with the better interview. Oh well, I was having some doubts anyway. I don't feel confident at all about the other place. I'm kind of rusty at that kind of work, and it showed in the interview. It was kind of a weird interview. But we'll see. Sounded like he had only one other person to interview(!), but maybe I misunderstood. Lol, even THAT doesn't bring on any confidence(!)

At work. On "lunch". Tired. Spent yesterday drawing. One was good, the other I stopped midway. Just wasn't getting the eyes right. (Haha, it's easy to draw people generically, not so easy a particular person.) But I'll forge ahead and do more drawings. The ones not turning out I have been kind of impatient with myself about, but I'm trying to lighten up. Had about a 35 year span of not doing it. Lol, I should be glad of the ones that DO turn out the way they should right? That's the psychologically best way to approach it. I'm trying.

I'm blabbering 'cause I'm bored...

[TheSeaCat]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

I'm glad you're doing ok on your antidepressant.

Also, congrats on graduating! What's your B.S. in? Two weeks will fly by before you know it.

Thank you; I seem to be doing just fine with just an antidepressant at the moment; granted today is only day three; but so far my thoughts are very even; I feel energetic but not like hypo energetic; and so far not one side effect has reared it's ugly head.

I am getting my B.S. in Healthcare Administration and then come fall; I will be working towards a MHA.

How are you doing bluebicyle?

[TheSeaCat]

Hi all; I hope everyone is doing well today. Hey look three updates in a row; it is totally a new record for me; at least as of late.

Today was Sunday School and Church and lunch with M's parents and some of our close friends; and then we had dinner with my parents which was really nice.

I really seem to be doing okay with just being on a depressant medication. So far no side effects and I am feeling good on it.

I go back to work tomorrow and to be quite honest I have been ready to go back for about a week now.

It feels like I have so much to do with so little time to do it in.

Hugs to everyone

[Amethyst_Stargazer]

I slept good last night which was great. I've been using ambient music to help me sleep from keeping my mind from racing.

Today was a pretty relaxing day and I felt tired due to feeling drained, so I took a nap.

My parents friends came over and had a lovely time with them. And talked positive to them which was good.

[Wander]

Well I’ve almost completed the photography job I got. Just have to email my client, which will take ages to find the right professional, yet concise words. I just need a break first.,

Haven’t been sleeping much as I’m coming off Seroquel. It was only 12.5-25mg but my brain isn’t happy without it. Hopefully it will adjust soon. Gloomy day here. Kind of enjoying the atmosphere.

There was bright sunshine and blue skies today and i got a glimmer of happiness when i thought of the success WildFlowerChild25 and Scooter9 had with Lamictal -- thanks for the input, guys -- and my pizza was good and i thought of listening to Eminem after. It was only a few minutes of happiness but i sure enjoyed it and hope it's a sign of things to come.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Innerzone

Heard back from one of the potential jobs. Didn't get it. That was the one with the better interview. Oh well, I was having some doubts anyway. I don't feel confident at all about the other place. I'm kind of rusty at that kind of work, and it showed in the interview. It was kind of a weird interview. But we'll see. Sounded like he had only one other person to interview(!), but maybe I misunderstood. Lol, even THAT doesn't bring on any confidence(!)


At work. On "lunch". Tired. Spent yesterday drawing. One was good, the other I stopped midway. Just wasn't getting the eyes right. (Haha, it's easy to draw people generically, not so easy a particular person.) But I'll forge ahead and do more drawings. The ones not turning out I have been kind of impatient with myself about, but I'm trying to lighten up. Had about a 35 year span of not doing it. Lol, I should be glad of the ones that DO turn out the way they should right? That's the psychologically best way to approach it. I'm trying.


I'm blabbering 'cause I'm bored...

Sorry about that job. But maybe for the best ?

I envy people who can draw or paint. I have the creativity of a rock.

[~Christina]

Lazy day for me. Some laundry and I made stroganoff for dinner super easy and tasty.

Been chatty today , my husband luckily can tune me out as needed.

I’m finishing a book in a series , will be sad to finish it but the Author has another series I can dive right into thankfully !!!

I’m a big Marvel Comics fan , hopefully going to see the movie this week. So excited !!!!!

I’m sad it will be all over tho. What do I look forward to now ?????? I rewatch them all the time so just continue yeah?

Hugs and cookies to all

Nothing like waking up in the morning at the end of April and having your car doors frozen shut and windows iced over from the frigid weather...

It’s supposed to be spring already! This winter feels like it’s never going to end! Though I heard that it snowed a lot in Chicago, so at least we’re not in that situation.

Otherwise, doing ok. I have a therapy appt on Wednesday morning, but I have no idea what I’m going to talk about. I feel like I’m FINALLY doing well, after being in an unstable state for so long (which is mostly my fault because I went off my meds). I wish I could say I won’t go off my meds ever again, but sometimes I get delusional or go in denial and go off them anyway. So maybe I should work with my therapist on that. I shouldn’t be an idiot about my meds, because I’m not one of those people who can go off them and be ok.

[wildflowerchild25]

I bought another pack of cigarettes. I’m all fired up to quit at night but in the morning the craving hits and I’m like **** I’ll just buy some. But I’m hoping if I leave two for tomorrow morning I’ll get that last hit of nicotine and then be able to quit. We shall see. It doesn’t help that RS is going away and I won’t have to worry about him smelling it on me. Although I don’t know how he hasn’t at this point. Maybe he has and just doesn’t want to start an argument. I don’t know.

I’m down again today. Not sure why. I just had a week long depression two weeks ago. I would have hoped it would have held off.

I have a phone interview for one of the day camps I applied to at eleven. The other camp called me and he said he would reach out via email to schedule an interview. The one camp that I have the interview for today sounds really fun but it might be too much physical activity for me. I’m not sure I could get in shape in time. My back hurt a lot yesterday after walking around the flower show. I don’t want to **** up my back any more. I’m already worried about lifting my student at work and ****ing things up.

I start work on Wednesday. I’m very anxious. I’m anxious that my judgy coworker will continue to judge me. I’m anxious that they won’t want me back. And I’m anxious that they will fire me at the end of the year for going out on disability. I know they shouldn’t but I didn’t have fmla protection so they could if they wanted to. They did last year, although they also fired me for being a ****** teacher. I think that’s actually more on point.

RS and I might be looking at a house on 5/12. Depends on when he comes back from his trip. I hope we can make it work, I really want to get moving on moving out. I haven’t heard back from the property manager for the other house and I have no way to contact them except through trulia and Zillow so I’m just going to have to wait.

Sigh. Today will be long and boring. I have PT at 2:30 so I can’t even take a nap.

[Sunflower123]

My new therapist is the best I’ve ever had. It was, according to her, the most unorthodox first session she’d ever had and I agreed. I can’t wait to work through some issues with her!

She worked with unwed mothers and with adoptions for 20 years. Long story short she was able to give me a paradigm shift on the adoption pain that has plagued me for over 45 years. I am enough! I don’t have to prove my worth to belong! It wasn’t about me personally! All these years I’ve worked so hard to prove I was good enough to be here. I was even bullied over it. I cried almost the whole time. What a huge relief. I feel compassion and respect for my birth mother’s experience now.

I think things are going to start changing for me now...stability wise. So happy and grateful.

Warm wishes and hugs to all.

[hopeless2015]

A little dip in mood last couple days but just checked calendar and its close to my period so that explains that. Even called into work this morning which I haven't done in awhile. Just need to make sure I get my *** up when alarm goes off tomorrow, I really do better if I just get straight up, no snoozing. And I know the routine is huge for me.

Hugs to all

[bpforever1]

I am doing well. I washed a few loads of laundry and vacuumed the apartment. I also had the maintenance man come by to fix some repairs. I took a shower and put on my makeup. I lost two more pounds also. I feel good. I am eating less and moving more but not really walking every day. I am happy. I may have a cavity though so I will need to go to the dentist. Argh!! Overall, life is going pretty well. I think the shots of Maintena-Abilify are effective.


I am hoping that I won't have to worry about taking my medication anymore. Thus, I will continue with the shots. I am hoping to lose forty pounds overall. My next appointment at the clinic is next week, and I'm hoping that I weigh five pounds less than before. My mother was disgusted I gained much weight. But, it is my fault because I was eating at buffets before and sleeping a lot. I am more active now and feel much better. I hope to continue this upward trend.


I am happy with my life. I was not before. I made many mistakes due to poor judgment. This comes from my illness. I need to have family near me. I was living alone in another country and know that I need my family no matter what. My parents thought it was a great idea for me to be living alone. I still think they have problems realizing that I am really ill at times. I will never be really independent but at least I will try to survive with what I have. I know my limitations. I think being alone anywhere is hardship for anybody. My family should not expect too much from me. They are learning the hard way that I have an illness that requires support from others. I'm trying to do more things on my own though. Eventually I'll be alone. I am hoping I won't be alone anymore but the reality is my parents won't live forever.


I just take it one day at a time now. I don't need to think too hard about the future because I have never been able to think that far ahead and be positive. I will take it as it comes. I am not unhappy. I am glad now I'm recovering.


I will look for jobs eventually again. Until the times comes to look for jobs, I will enjoy what I have.