[MsSunflower]

I was diagnosed with Bipolar II about 3 years ago. Leading up to my diagnosis I had experienced periods of hypomania where I wouldn't need to sleep, was impulsive and would start so many projects but never actually finish anything. I also experienced long periods of major depression. Getting my diagnosis everything finally started to click for me.
Now the part I don't understand. While I definitely experience a cycle of depression and hypomania, my understanding is that a person will return to 'normal' in between these periods. My moods do now and have for most of my life change very rapidly. I can cycle between laughter and joy to anger to deep distressing emotional pain and back all in one day. It's not uncommon for me to have a perfectly pleasant day and want to kill myself by supper time.
Does anyone else understand this? Is there something more than Bipolar going on with me? I tried talking to my therapist about it once and he suggested rapid cycling but that doesn't make sense to me either.

[~Christina]

If your all over the place in one day really just means you haven’t found your “ baseline” at all.

Often it requires changes in meds and I feel seeing a Therapist is also needed

But it’s also about self care
Healthy diet
Mediation
Mindfulness
Sleep hygiene
Exercise
Coping skills

The list goes on and on.

It’s easy to get discouraged finding balance but it’s possible. Bipolar always cycles, only thing that is consistent with the bytch.

Hang in there

Sorry to hear you're going through that.

Sometimes those feelings are associated with rapid cycling or a mixed episode, depending on how your dr wants to look at it. So, I wouldn't toss out the possibility of rapid cycling. Such rapid cycling is often referred to as "ultradian cycling."

Here's a good overview:
Ultra-rapid and ultradian cycling in bipolar affective illness. - PubMed - NCBI

I also agree with Christina's suggestions. Those are some really good ones.

[HALLIEBETH87]

Sometimes it’s not rapid cycling it’s just moods swinging back and forth because meds haven’t helped yet. Once
You find your baseline you may not seem like you’re rapid cycling

[Jedi67]

not too sure but it sounds like rapid cycling, like what I'm going through now. I wouldn't rule out severe mood swings either. med change may be the way to go and try your best to remember your coping skills when you are having these episodes. finding balance and a baseline is a process, but you will get through this. all the best!

[yellow_fleurs]

I am sorry you are dealing with this. Maybe tracking your moods with an app like Daylio and making a note of what's going on when your mood changes could help you and you therapist and psychiatrist figure it out? It might help you figure out if anything, medication or otherwise, makes it better or worse? I had this kind of experience when I was on Lexapro and had a "mixed episode" per my psychiatrist (although I was mostly up and down at the same time) and also due to PMDD when I am having issues from that.

[Nammu]

Sounds like a personality disorder

[MsSunflower]

Wow! Thanks for all the replies everyone. I'm new to this forum and new to bipolar really. A lot of you mentioned this idea of finding a 'baseline'. I've never heard this terminology in regards to bipolar. Can anyone elaborate on this? How does a person find their baseline and how would you know if you found it? In the last 3 years I have seen 3 different psychiatrists and 3 therapists. I have tried probably a dozen medications in one combination or another. I'm currently on the waitlist for a day hospital program that offers more extensive therapy. I feel like I don't know what it's like to feel 'normal' anymore. Maybe I never have.

[MsSunflower]

Originally Posted by Nammu

Sounds like a personality disorder

Hello. Thanks for your reply. I can't say I know much about personality disorders. Is there one in particular?

[MsSunflower]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

Sorry to hear you're going through that.

Sometimes those feelings are associated with rapid cycling or a mixed episode, depending on how your dr wants to look at it. So, I wouldn't toss out the possibility of rapid cycling. Such rapid cycling is often referred to as "ultradian cycling."

Here's a good overview:
Ultra-rapid and ultradian cycling in bipolar affective illness. - PubMed - NCBI

I also agree with Christina's suggestions. Those are some really good ones.

I've never come across a reference to ultradian cycling before although I do suspect I've experienced a mixed episode on more than one occasion. That gives me something to look into. Thanks!

[~Christina]

Baseline is just when a person is stable. Not in a up or down episode.

Baseline to me is being content and functional to do what needs done.

[MsSunflower]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Baseline is just when a person is stable. Not in a up or down episode.

Baseline to me is being content and functional to do what needs done.

That makes sense. I guess I have a hard time distinguishing between 'normal' and 'up'. Most if the time when I'm up it just feels good and I have energy to do things. It's only after I come down that I have to deal with the consiquences of the things that I've done in that state. Feeling down is way easier to identify.