[Zuzian]

It's been interesting over the last couple of months how things I had just taken for granted in my life can be connected to bipolar. I am still struggling to emotionally connect what I am learning to myself, but my therapist has been so amazing and helpful.

When I first discussed some things with her that I thought we're completely normal, it was mind blowing for me. There are problems I have had since literally elementary school that my parents just never discussed with a GP, let alone took me to a psychiatrist or therapist for.

I have had sleep terrors since I was young, like maybe late elementary, and while they have diminished in frequency, they are going strong at 25. I get periodically nervous of dark spaces, having to keep my back to a wall and have all of the lights on, feeling like something is in the dark, watching me. When it decides to progress more into something like a mixed episode, I start seeing darting animal and person-like shapes in the edges of my vision. My vision also "frizzes", I'm not sure how to describe it. The edges of my view almost vibrate, and it gets worse if I rotate my eyes without turning my head.

I've never had a traumatic even to explain any of these events.

I was actually a wondering a tiny bit about schizophrenia or something before I learned that bipolar can have hallucinations and fearful feelings, once I learned more than just stupid public opinion assumptions.

A Seroquel and Lamictal combo has definitely helped the "disturbance" stuff. I hope it continues to, I've only been on it for about a month now, but I'm also a rapid cycler, so I was experiencing these things pretty frequently.

[fern46]

It is a great feeling to get help and answers for these types of behaviors. I'm so glad to hear you are finding relief and I hope it continues for you. I hallucinated heavily during a mixed episode recently. It can be so scary and traumatic. It also feels so strange to come out of it and realize your brain caused it all. Powerful stuff