[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by tecomsin

My father died yesterday, on Canada Day. My son enjoyed the fireworks with his friends. I have been quite sad but got out yesterday with a friend. Am going out tomorrow. May stay home today. My sister and brother in law are taking care of all the arrangements.

I edited a bit the obituary she came up with. He treated us so differently, so we would have a different perspective. It is sweet.

Hi Tecomsin, I am so sorry for your loss.Thinking of you.

[Wild Coyote]

A Warm Hello to All,
Have been very weary. Lots of dental work done yesterday. Lots of calls and paperwork today.

If/when sleeping, having nightmares about odd things, like having someone steal pictures out of my computer, etc. LOL! Wonder where that one came from?

In one dream, many here at PC had sent me various pictures. I was trying to guard them in my sleep. I was VERY upset in the dream and it then ran into waking time, until I could realize it was not true.

Hectic day. Internet service provider tech back again today, just finishing up and checking security. Lots of calls made, etc.

Overall, VERY weary. Fireworks already going off here tonight! Gorgeous sunset!
Much Love to All!

[~Christina]

WC, oh what horrible nightmares to have !!!!! He’s despicable.


Much Love

[Tucson]

It has been two years since my mother passed. I am having a little trouble with it. Mortality. 15 years, maybe more of my life left. I want to make it to my daughter's 40th birthday. This will mean me that I will need to make my 80th birthdayl I miss my mother. I was numb over this for a year and a half. I thought something was wrong with me.

I had a new tiled floor put in my kitchen. I now need to seal it, and wax floor. I have been depressed for several weeks now. Maybe looking at my antique pistols will be a good diversion?

[sadveiledbride]

Feeling sleepy and paranoid. I need to quit letting people **** me up. I just want to be at peace for once, and out of here.

[Blue_Bird]

Got 6 hours of sleep last night, so quite a bit better but for an hour I had horrific restless legs going on from the seroquel, it literally felt like torture and was worse than I've ever experienced it, ended up taking my klonopin getting out of bed and walked around my apartment for awhile then about 45 minutes later I was able to fall asleep. I've had bad restless legs before but I can't even describe how bad it was last night, I was kicking like crazy and then punching my legs trying to get it to stop I was pissed off and almost crying

[Wander]

Saw my T and pdoc. To avoid possibly traumating me we are all working to keep me out of hospital. My pdoc wants me to email him daily with an update. Along with that I’m to take 50-100 mg of Seroquel and 4 mg Lorazepam a day. Hopefully this will short circuit the adrenaline rush after rush. I see them in a week.

This is an awful experience. I’m starting to slip. Hospital will make me feel trapped. Feeling trapped is at the core of my trauma. I want to live but find myself fantasising. I’m gonna break if this doesn’t work.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Wander

Saw my T and pdoc. To avoid possibly traumating me we are all working to keep me out of hospital. My pdoc wants me to email him daily with an update. Along with that I’m to take 50-100 mg of Seroquel and 4 mg Lorazepam a day. Hopefully this will short circuit the adrenaline rush after rush. I see them in a week.

This is an awful experience. I’m starting to slip. Hospital will make me feel trapped. Feeling trapped is at the core of my trauma. I want to live but find myself fantasising. I’m gonna break if this doesn’t work.

Dearest Wander, I am so sorry you are going through this. What a horrible experience. I am glad your team is working with you, trying to help.

I hope the med changes/adjustments help and you are able to feel better and stay out of the hospital.

Please keep us updated.
Much Love~

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Got 6 hours of sleep last night, so quite a bit better but for an hour I had horrific restless legs going on from the seroquel, it literally felt like torture and was worse than I've ever experienced it, ended up taking my klonopin getting out of bed and walked around my apartment for awhile then about 45 minutes later I was able to fall asleep. I've had bad restless legs before but I can't even describe how bad it was last night, I was kicking like crazy and then punching my legs trying to get it to stop I was pissed off and almost crying

Hi Blue_Bird,
Yikes! No fun!

Are you able to take a different med (other than Seroquel)?
I have had akathisia from an AP med before. Just horrible.
I hope you can do something different in order to get relief.
I hope your pdoc is available to help you out today.
Please keep us posted.
Much Love~

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

My new NP, in consultation with my old pdoc, added Vraylar to my combo although I don’t fit any of the criteria listed on the pamphlet. I’m not BPI or mixed or manic. A bit cynical that this will turn out well but I’ll give it a try.

Had a nice float in the pool this morning....perfect weather. While we were floating, my daughter discussed with me that she’d like for me to live in whatever town she ends up in after school. I’m game for a new dream and a new town and humbled and honored that she feels that way.

Best wishes and hugs to all.

I hope your new meds surprises you and works extremely well.
It's uplifting to know those we love want us to live closer to them.
Happy for you !!!
Much Love~

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Tucson

It has been two years since my mother passed. I am having a little trouble with it. Mortality. 15 years, maybe more of my life left. I want to make it to my daughter's 40th birthday. This will mean me that I will need to make my 80th birthdayl I miss my mother. I was numb over this for a year and a half. I thought something was wrong with me.

I had a new tiled floor put in my kitchen. I now need to seal it, and wax floor. I have been depressed for several weeks now. Maybe looking at my antique pistols will be a good diversion?

Hi Tucson,
So nice to have you posting!

I have found it difficult to adjust to the loss of family members. I hope it will get easier for you in time.

I also hope your depression lifts quickly.

[Wild Coyote]

Gosh, I am soooo tired and in a lot of pain. Multiple conditions acting up with overwhelming amount of stress for tooo long now.
Feeling dazed and depleted.

I hope everyone has a reasonably good day.
Love yas!

[wildflowerchild25]

Had another self injury dream yesterday but it was followed up by a nice dream about RS so it worked out. I talked to my therapist about these dreams and she said something about “nightmare protocol”. It’s where if you have a recurring nightmare you can write down the nightmare and then change the ending to something positive. Then you read it before you go to sleep so if you have the nightmare again it will change the ending. Sounds like a bunch of malarkey to me but maybe it works. Apparently there’s a lot of research about it. I’ll have to look into it more.

I’m really enjoying living with RS. It’s so nice to have my own house. He helped me pay the cable bill which I appreciate. I mean unfortunately I’m going to have to rely on him to pay bills because he makes so much more than me. I wish I could make more money. But that’s why I’m doing my master’s. By December 2020 I will have my degree and I will be able to be a teacher again.

My son wants to see the fireworks tonight but it’s going to be raining so I think they’re going to be canceled. They should be on tomorrow night though. That’ll be nice to see them.

[GoldenSnitch]

Originally Posted by Tucson

It has been two years since my mother passed. I am having a little trouble with it. Mortality. 15 years, maybe more of my life left. I want to make it to my daughter's 40th birthday. This will mean me that I will need to make my 80th birthdayl I miss my mother. I was numb over this for a year and a half. I thought something was wrong with me.


I had a new tiled floor put in my kitchen. I now need to seal it, and wax floor. I have been depressed for several weeks now. Maybe looking at my antique pistols will be a good diversion?

I’m so sorry for your loss. Big hugs!

[GoldenSnitch]

Originally Posted by sadveiledbride

Feeling sleepy and paranoid. I need to quit letting people **** me up. I just want to be at peace for once, and out of here.

Are you able to take a nap? Do you know of anything that helps your paranoia? I haven’t found anything for mine so I have no advice there. Big hugs. I hope it goes away soon.

[GoldenSnitch]

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Got 6 hours of sleep last night, so quite a bit better but for an hour I had horrific restless legs going on from the seroquel, it literally felt like torture and was worse than I've ever experienced it, ended up taking my klonopin getting out of bed and walked around my apartment for awhile then about 45 minutes later I was able to fall asleep. I've had bad restless legs before but I can't even describe how bad it was last night, I was kicking like crazy and then punching my legs trying to get it to stop I was pissed off and almost crying

The 6 hours is good but those restless legs sound awful! I’m sorry you had to deal with this. Has it happened before?

[GoldenSnitch]

Originally Posted by Wander

Saw my T and pdoc. To avoid possibly traumating me we are all working to keep me out of hospital. My pdoc wants me to email him daily with an update. Along with that I’m to take 50-100 mg of Seroquel and 4 mg Lorazepam a day. Hopefully this will short circuit the adrenaline rush after rush. I see them in a week.


This is an awful experience. I’m starting to slip. Hospital will make me feel trapped. Feeling trapped is at the core of my trauma. I want to live but find myself fantasising. I’m gonna break if this doesn’t work.

Oh best of luck to you. I hope this works for you. Being in the hospital can definitely make you feel trapped which wouldn’t be good for your trauma. Keep us posted!

[GoldenSnitch]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Gosh, I am soooo tired and in a lot of pain. Multiple conditions acting up with overwhelming amount of stress for tooo long now.

Feeling dazed and depleted.


I hope everyone has a reasonably good day.

Love yas!

I’m sorry you’re feeling this way do you have any ways of distracting yourself from some of the overwhelm? Or can you make a list with baby steps and try to get a couple of things accomplished to help with your stress? I hope you’re feeling better soon

[GoldenSnitch]

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

Had another self injury dream yesterday but it was followed up by a nice dream about RS so it worked out. I talked to my therapist about these dreams and she said something about “nightmare protocol”. It’s where if you have a recurring nightmare you can write down the nightmare and then change the ending to something positive. Then you read it before you go to sleep so if you have the nightmare again it will change the ending. Sounds like a bunch of malarkey to me but maybe it works. Apparently there’s a lot of research about it. I’ll have to look into it more.


I’m really enjoying living with RS. It’s so nice to have my own house. He helped me pay the cable bill which I appreciate. I mean unfortunately I’m going to have to rely on him to pay bills because he makes so much more than me. I wish I could make more money. But that’s why I’m doing my master’s. By December 2020 I will have my degree and I will be able to be a teacher again.


My son wants to see the fireworks tonight but it’s going to be raining so I think they’re going to be canceled. They should be on tomorrow night though. That’ll be nice to see them.

I’ve never heard of that dream protocol either. It sounds interesting. I too have a nightmare that recurrs so I might give this a try.

[Blue_Bird]

Thanks Wild Coyote and GoldenSnitch

I have dealt with RLS before from the same medication when I was on it a long time ago and it was pretty bad then but never as severe as now. I hope there's something that can help it. I'm not exaggerating when I said it felt like torture , for example I've had kidney stones before and I'd take those and that level of pain over how bad the RLS was last night , it was a nightmare