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Bizi is bizi
Member Since Nov 2005
Location: cajun country
Posts: 10,851
18 43.8k hugs
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#621
Quote:
Thank you for your thoughtful posts! bizi __________________ 150mg of lamictal 2x a day haldol 5mg 2x a day 1mg of cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, 4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon PRN Remeron 15mg at night, zyprexa10mg under tongue, requip2mg. |
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Bizi is bizi
Member Since Nov 2005
Location: cajun country
Posts: 10,851
18 43.8k hugs
given |
#622
Quote:
Where are you going? sorry about your ankle...can you ice it? (((((HUGS))))) bizi __________________ 150mg of lamictal 2x a day haldol 5mg 2x a day 1mg of cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, 4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon PRN Remeron 15mg at night, zyprexa10mg under tongue, requip2mg. |
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Sunflower123
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Sunflower123
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Guest
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#623
I've been doing okay and had an average weekend
managed to get out to town on friday for a bit (even if it was raining, hard!) I just wish at the moment the chronic pain wasn't so bad. it is very bad at the moment |
Anonymous46341, Blue_Bird, Nammu, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835
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Guest
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#624
probably need to eat better too, on friday and saturday I had takeout (well, the new chip shop next to me is so addictive, I can't resist) and today I had chicken
but oh well. it's what you like I guess |
Anonymous46341, Blue_Bird, Nammu, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2013
Location: Hogwarts
Posts: 36,745
(SuperPoster!)
10 14.3k hugs
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#625
I ended up cleaning my whole apartment today. Also studying some stuff on Khan Academy till I'm ready to start taking classes again at my college. Had to take the past semester off due to mental health issues. Nice free way to learn about various subjects in depth, it's a lot of fun. I'm also really enjoying my new video game, and also a book I'm reading called "The Water Will Come" by Jeff Goodell 😃
__________________ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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Anonymous46341, Nammu, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835
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Innerzone
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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#626
It was a rough day again today. A little better than before, but still not so great. It was a little cathartic, albeit painful. I don’t want to give a lot of details. I tried that once and I immediately regretted my decision and prayed for minimal views and quick deletion. I won’t make that mistake again. It’s nothing against you all, you’re very supportive – but my own conscious can’t seem to process this alone, but I can’t willingly burden others or open up like that again. But I will talk vaguely, because it bypasses my own filter and at least helps me some.
I will only say this to put something into context, as to why this is so painful and why I feel I’m being drug willingly through all of this. C (that will be the initial of my spouse) is from Mexico. We married 5 years ago, and while if we divorced it is possible C could stay in the country… she is afraid. I don’t want to hurt C. If you’ve read any of my posts before you know how hard I fought for an independent life and how I fought to have everything I have and own. To have a career, a marriage, a license, a car, a home, .. everything. … and how I lost it all. I have to rebuild from the rubble. I have to rise from the ashes and I just don’t know how to rewrite my life, or if I event want to do it again…. And I can’t force C to lose her life she has created .. not like I did. I lost my life through my own faults – C didn’t do anything and deserves to live a life of happiness. I won’t take that away from her. The world is against me on this one. Everyone thinks (mind you, they don’t know the story, just the fact I am having to live with my mother and things are essentially over) I should divorce and cause her the same pain I’m going through. I just can’t be vengeful like that. Despite having to live at home, having no job, a failed marriage and lots of emotional pain and bipolar to top it off.. it’s just been hell these last few months. I go back and forth between sorrow and anger and moments of peace, to almost happiness, to deep depression again. It’s part of why I don’t post anymore – I feel one way, and regret showing that side of me. I guess I just figured if you’re going to keep me in your thoughts and/or your prayers – you might as well understand the circumstances aren’t ordinary. (It’s additive, anyone going through a divorce, a job loss, and all that will feel very similar. I’m not trying to make it sound special, just the circumstances add a lot to it). That’s all I got. Just living in hell isn’t what I wanted for myself, but it’s where I am. |
Anonymous46341, BeyondtheRainbow, Innerzone, Nammu, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835, Victoria'smom, Wander, yellow_fleurs
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Legendary
Member Since Apr 2012
Location: Earth
Posts: 14,908
(SuperPoster!)
12 5,445 hugs
given |
#627
Brentus do you have the option of IOP?
__________________ Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
Veteran Member
Member Since Sep 2018
Location: ???
Posts: 738
5 830 hugs
given |
#628
Didn't wake up until late today, feeling very depressive and low.
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bizi, Innerzone, MsSunflower, Nammu, Sunflower123, Victoria'smom
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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#629
I don't think so. I live in rural Kentucky and by a quick search the closest is 2.5 hours away, which I wouldn't have the money to drive to everyday or the money to stay up there. I don't have insurance right now and so I couldn't foot the bill anyway. Lastly, I'm not sure how much help it would really be. In a lot of ways I'm just grieving. The little I let out, I do find some solace in that. I think my best option is to just continue to work through it alone, and only express things here when I have trouble coming to terms alone. |
BeyondtheRainbow, bizi, Innerzone, MsSunflower, Nammu, Unrigged64072835, Victoria'smom, yellow_fleurs
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Member
Member Since Apr 2019
Location: Canada
Posts: 397
5 121 hugs
given |
#630
@Brentus I just want you to know that you're being way too hard on yourself. Everyone is here to share and offer support where they can. I honestly feel the only one judging you is yourself. I respect that it's hard to open up but you've not said anything to feel embarrassed about and I don't pity you, just hope for things to turn around for you. Hang in there man, we're all here for you when you're ready.
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Anonymous41462, Anonymous48614, bizi
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Innerzone
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Jun 2018
Location: US
Posts: 1,512
5 1,265 hugs
given |
#631
I've been having a bit of a tough weekend mental health wise, but I am feeling better at coping and more self aware which is helping me navigate. I am in a situation where I feel like I have to make a decision regarding going to a wedding and that it will either hurt the bride or a close friend of mine. That's the short story, it's a bit more complicated. I moped about it a bit and was pretty hard on myself for feeling "two-faced" over the whole thing. I was the peacekeeper in a family with some issues and I think I have not yet learned how to deal well with interpersonal conflict such as this. So, maybe a topic for therapy. I have decided to dive head first into my issues in therapy in hopes of becoming a better person and finding a way to better navigate through life.
On a positive note, I was successful at eating healthy and socializing with friends last night. We had a game night which was a lot of fun. I could have just stayed inside but knew I needed to be around people and it did feel good. Hope everyone has a good week! I also have PT tomorrow. I am glad to be getting help for my joint issues. |
Anonymous46341, Anonymous48614, bizi, fern46, MsSunflower, Nammu, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote
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Wild Coyote
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jan 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 26,543
(SuperPoster!)
9 95k hugs
given |
#632
Quote:
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Wild Coyote
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Wild Coyote
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Legendary Wise Elder
Community Liaison
Member Since Jul 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 22,450
(SuperPoster!)
12 12.7k hugs
given |
#633
Quote:
Hey , I’m sorry your so down and beating up on yourself. There is no need for details, your whole life got turned upside down. How your feeling is very understandable. I hope you have a T that you can see that will help you process all the changes in your life and how will be best for your moving forward. Everyone needs a helping hand in life. Keep posting whatever your comfortable sharing. Bipolar cycles , the one consistent thing the bytch does , you will come out the other side __________________ Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
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Anonymous46341, Anonymous48614, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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Wild Coyote
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Legendary Wise Elder
Community Liaison
Member Since Jul 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 22,450
(SuperPoster!)
12 12.7k hugs
given |
#634
__________________ Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
Wild Coyote
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Wild Coyote
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Veteran Member
Member Since Sep 2018
Location: ???
Posts: 738
5 830 hugs
given |
#635
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Wild Coyote
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Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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Bizi is bizi
Member Since Nov 2005
Location: cajun country
Posts: 10,851
18 43.8k hugs
given |
#636
Quote:
I am sorry you are very depressed right now. what coping skills have you tried? (((((hugs)))) bizi __________________ 150mg of lamictal 2x a day haldol 5mg 2x a day 1mg of cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, 4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon PRN Remeron 15mg at night, zyprexa10mg under tongue, requip2mg. |
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sadveiledbride, Wild Coyote
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sadveiledbride, Wild Coyote
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Veteran Member
Member Since Sep 2018
Location: ???
Posts: 738
5 830 hugs
given |
#637
Quote:
Last edited by sadveiledbride; Jun 10, 2019 at 12:14 AM.. |
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Wild Coyote
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Wild Coyote
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Poohbah
Member Since May 2018
Location: Toronto, Canada
Posts: 1,206
5 80 hugs
given |
#638
After 19 days on Wellbutrin I think it's starting to work. I feel less withdrawn, less insecure and my body pains from the depression have reduced by about 70%. I'm not out of the woods yet but it looks like there's a path.
My eldest son came back again for a visit! He surprised his mother last month by showing up for mother's day and now he'll be here for father's day! He's also here to support the Raptors basketball team for the finals games. It took him 30 hours this time due to delays on the way. __________________ * Dx: Unspecified Bipolar and Related Disorder * Rx: Remeron, Prozac, Klonopin, Vraylar My avatar picture is a photo of the Whirlpool Galaxy I took in April 2023. I dedicated this photo to my sister who passed away in July 2016. |
Anonymous46341, fern46, Innerzone, Nammu, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote
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Wild Coyote
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Guest
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#639
This has gone through my mind a bit lately, but today it really hit me. I have felt better and more stable these past few weeks than I have for years. Several years! I have a really good amount of energy so have been more physically active than I can remember. When I am not doing much, I get this feeling like "BirdDancer, let's do something now!" And then I do it, and I'm enjoying it. In fact, I'm enjoying a lot of things most of the time. But it's not a euphoric type enjoyment. I truly am stable and grounded. I feel more confident about adding more activities to my days. With the decrease of my Seroquel XR from 600 mg to 500 mg, my appetite has reduced enough that I'd call my current Seroquel XR dose "weight neutral" again. This is the fifth day of a strict diet, and I have done great and am actually enjoying the meal planning and food tracking. And the food. I'm even meal planning for my husband. My self-care activities have increased. When I see my therapist tomorrow and she asks how I've been/am, I really can't say anything other than "Truly very good and balanced!" These past weeks my "reports" have been pretty good, as well.
It was kind of odd, as my Seroquel XR dose went down, I was actually sleeping a little more than usual (10 hours per night). I believe I mentioned that here and attributed it to my increased activity, just plain tuckering me out by the end of the day. My sleep length has normalized a bit in the last few days, but "normal" is 8 to 9 hours, and the sleep is very sweet and restorative. I'm ready to go soon after I wake up. So I guess it may be time for me to add on another activity to my life and see how it goes. I will continue the French classes, and will try to add some more writing in my days. I also want to add one more social event each week. I see my psychiatrist in two weeks, then he's away for most of six weeks. I believe I'll do well during that period. My therapist said that if something does happen during that period, that she would see me more than usual. She's great! I actually see her every Tuesday, so more than that would likely only happen if a major change happens. I hope not! I think it's accurate for me to say, that she is the best therapist (for me) that I have ever had in my entire 15 years of seeing therapists. I feel like, with her, I could finally reach some bigger goals. I'm very fortunate right now. |
Anonymous41462, fern46, Innerzone, Nammu, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote
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Innerzone, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote, wildflowerchild25, ~Christina
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Silver Swan
Member Since Jan 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 16,475
(SuperPoster!)
16 2,551 hugs
given |
#640
Im waiting at Starbucks for Molly. We only will have about an hour as she has a drs appointment today.
I got up late today- 10:00! I should get my butt up and EMBRACE the day! I feel like a slug if I don't. I found a book at Barnes n Noble called "Haldol and Hyacinths: A Bipolar Life". Its all pretty fa.iliar but her life circumstances are different than mine. Plus, she's a lawyer- I have few skills like that- life-long skills- except singing and I'm failing at that since my vocal cords went bad (one doesn't work). __________________ Wellbutrin XL 300 mg Loxapine 50mg Ingrezza 80 mg Ativan .5 mg 2x/day Propranolol 20 mg 2x/day Mania (December 2023) Mixed episode/Hypomania (September 2023) Depression, Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts (September 2021) Depression & Psychosis (July/August 2021) Mania (April/May 2019) |
Nammu, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote, wildflowerchild25
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Wild Coyote
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Closed Thread |
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