bit melancholy...medical tests continue...and worries about my daughter

Feeling a bit melancholy. Today was my daughter's 5th grade end of year party, and tomorrow is her last day of school, a half-day with a noon dismissal. It will be her last day of elementary school. She's been at the same school for 6 years (counting kindergarten), so it's a bit sad. They had the last awards ceremony this morning, and the party, which H & I attended.

H & I are both worried about our daughter. Her moods are very erratic (though some of it is to be expected, she's 11, so there are hormones at play). But some of it seems to go beyond the norm; often, she cries and says she wishes she were little again, when everything seemed new and exciting and that she doesn't want to have to grow up. She is having difficulties sleeping, some nights not falling asleep until 3 AM or later. I've had psychiatrists and therapists tell me sleep difficulties as a kid can be a sign of mental health problems on the horizon. I had sleep difficulties too, but mine range back in time to as long as I can remember. I had a hard time sleeping (3 years old or so, maybe earlier as I've got a memory about not being able to sleep at an apartment we only lived in until I was 3. I want to have my daughter talk with a counselor, but H hates the mental health field, swears psych meds messed me up and caused me more problems, isn't thrilled that I go to therapy and if I mention the idea of asking my daughter's pediatrician about therapy, my husband's response is an immediate "no". But I worry. She is so isolated and an only child. She has friends at school, but none of them live so close, you can just pop by (down the same street or even a few roads over). I always had my middle sister, who is only 16 months younger than I am, pretty much a built-in friend growing up. I have another sister too, 5 years younger than I am, but growing up, she seemed so little though of course the age gap doesn't matter now. It's a difficult time for all kids, I think, outgrowing toys but still trying to find themselves, and my daughter is not interested in athletics or music, the 2 main extracurricular activities around here. She is very bright, straight A's all through elementary school and was put in the gifted and talented program in kindergarten. However, I think because she is so smart, she thinks about things even more and once she gets upset and worked up about something, she is like I am; it takes absolute ages to calm her down.

As for me and my iron-deficiency anemia...Lately, I have been feeling somewhat better. I have been taking iron supplements (as directed by my hematologist). I have not been running much though lately I've had some energy and have walked and jogged some, not daily, and never longer than an hour, usually 45 min. or less. I've been organizing and decluttering though my focus switches from one area to another (though it is back and forth between the same 3 or 4 areas and not added upon, so maybe not that manic-like), but I do worry I could be somewhat manic (witness the length of this email). Last blood check, my hemoglobin had improved though I was still anemic, still have ice pica. The hematologist recommended iron infusions (probably 2 of them), the first of which is next week Tuesday. I had a pillcam test resulting in nothing since the camera stayed in my stomach the entire filming (had to have an X-ray to confirm it had exited). An ultrasound showed I have a fatty liver (not common in thin people who don't abuse alcohol, but it happens and often they don't know why), so I'm getting some CT scan thing on it to check for scarring or cirrhosis. No gallstones. I'm getting some sort of X-ray to check the small intestine since the pillcam was a bust. I think I have another blood count thing coming up soon. I still do have the iron anemia symptoms though yesterday when I saw my sister, she said I was looking a lot better, getting some color back, but the iron pills are so hard on my stomach and digestive system. I can't wait to not have to take them. And I am dead tired of seeing doctors, getting tests, waiting on results, having blood draws.

Sorry for the long post. Probably hypergraphia. Can't stop it (sigh).

Hope you feel better soon.

Might be a side effect of antipsychotics for the fatty liver. I have it too but they blame it on being fat for me.

My youngest is graduating high school next week! Tomorrow is his last day of exams. They do the senior walk right after. I remember when he was in afternoon preschool 13 years ago. Time flies!

It’s understandable that you are melancholy as you are going through a transition. I hope your tests go well and that you feel better soon.

Thanks. I got through today (last day of my daughter's 5th grade year, end of elementary school) though I teared up now and again thinking about it off and on during the day. My daughter was not at all nostalgic and in high spirits and says she is ready to start 6th grade and sick of elementary school. I'm doing a bit better now. I meant to do some organizing, but I ended up taking my daughter to the library and then to buy some sandals for the summer. I also scheduled what felt like endless appointments for myself and things like my daughter's dental cleaning, annual wellness exam and had to leave a voicemail with a doctor's PA about a question I had. I think I still have to schedule a vet appointment for one of my cats (annual exam). Beyond tired of scheduling appointments.

Moose, I'm wondering too if the fatty liver is from the AP. I have not taken many APs, but I've been on Seroquel in varying dosages forever and had brief stints with Risperdal and Abilify. And I've been on psych meds over 20 years, minus my pregnancy (though I did go on a couple meds the end of the 3rd trimester). If you think I take a lot of meds now, the free county med system that misdiagnosed me with major depression and gave me whopping amounts of SSRIs probably had me on 3 times as many medications. My psychiatrist plans to taper some, but not until I've got the iron anemia under control as it can affect mood and anxiety.

So, so glad you are feeling better.
Your daughter has gone through a lot probably, worrying about your physical issues. I dont think you can get a real idea of her status until you are ok physically(getting close now)and she’s not worrying about that. I agree with you that her isolation is a big issue and it would be good to find an activity that might allow her to make a friend. Something she wants to do. Though of course you are going to have to watch her for depression and bipolar because of the genetic factor, I think you need to find ways to help her relax before considering a therapist and or pdoc. I myself have experienced so much incompetence in the professionals I have had that I share some of your husbands feelings. I would never send her to anyone unless you know someone whose child has had success with the person.
Regular vigorous aerobic exercise is so important for helping me to stay calm. I was always anti sports until I found water aerobics. I worry about you runnning for an entire hour with the ED. I was thinking that some exercise might calm her . Is there such a thing as yoga for kids? She might meet a friend.