[Fuzzybear]

I wish I could erase myself. I’m told I’m undeserving of support and that I have no good qualities. Maybe these people are speaking the “truth”. I can’t take meds to cushion the pain and I must not be a burden to Papa Bear. I must not speak. I must not cry. I must not answer back to the bullies who judge me in their ivory towers

A good friend erased herself lately. and left the planet
She, like everyone else on the planet, was much more worthwhile and loveable than I am. I’m a waste of oxygen

I have survivors guilt. I’m guilty for being alive. I’m guilty for not being silent

I’m guilty for not conforming to what the bullies want.

(Not anyone here)

[yellow_fleurs]

I am so sorry to hear about your friend, do you mean she left your life or passed away? If she passed away that is so sad and I am really sorry.
You deserve to be alive, and to speak, even if you mind (or others) tell you otherwise.
Who is telling you you are not deserving of support? That is terrible to tell a person, and definitely not true!

[bizi]

ARe the bullies in your family?
Otherwise why do you continue to have them in your life?
If they are other forums posters can't you block them?
sorry you are suffering.
((((HUGS)))))
bizi

[Fuzzybear]

Thanks to both of you
My friend passed away (I think not from “natural causes” )
It made me reflect on the value of kindness and compassion...
I think anyone who knows me at all on here knows I try to be kind and compassionate...
And that I try to be supportive..
I don’t understand family members who completely fail to support their children. And who completely FAIL to be compassionate Me, when I was a cub. a little cub who was alone and hated But I can’t change them. All I can do is REFUSE to be an abuser myself and refuse to continue the cycle of abuse. I have some “family” members who are still abusive. I limit my contact with them...