[Alpha91]

I haven't posted in a really long time probably a year ago. I've been dealing with the VA, changing meds, moving to a new city and going to school. I've had a gf supporting me through a lot which I appreciate since shes dealt with the same thing. But all I want to do is just drink lately and ignore everything going on around me... I haven't been able to talk to a therapist in a month and a half because of the VA being so booked up with appointments. I've just had it with everything... ive been through a few really bad manic episodes in the last year.. last time I saw a doctor I wanted to get help because of how much I drink and they didnt do anything... I'm still here drinking like a fish to stop my thoughts and feelings. I dont know how to stop drinking on my own. I've worked hard to get better and it's all for nothing now. I haven't been this depressed in a long time and I just cant stop feeling like there is this huge void that's missing right now... I'm tired of having someone to help me because I cant do it on my own.

Hi Alpha. It's nice to see you back! I'm sorry to read that you are struggling with your bp illness and drinking. I do hope you can arrest the excess drinking. I know from a lot of experience that it does more harm than good, even if it seems otherwise, at times.

That is unfair that the VA doesn't set you up with adequate therapy. Have you tried support groups (like DBSA, particularly, or NAMI)? I know AA isn't for everyone, but it helps some. It's my assumption (correct me if I'm wrong) that you bp is the root issue. Do you drink a lot even when stable mood-wise?

[Alpha91]

I drink when I'm unstable. I've looked into some meetings. But I go to school so it's hard for me to attend any. I cant miss a lot of class or my GI bill benefits will be less for missing so much.

Originally Posted by Alpha91

I drink when I'm unstable. I've looked into some meetings. But I go to school so it's hard for me to attend any. I cant miss a lot of class or my GI bill benefits will be less for missing so much.

That's a bummer they penalize you like that.

Have you looked into the counseling services at your school? Is it a college/university? I know that most colleges/universities offer counseling services. Even community colleges. Maybe that would be low-cost or even free? It would be great if you could find some counseling to supplement what you get from the VA.

I am far from being a die-hard AA member, but sometimes it has been helpful for me.

[~Christina]

Hi Alpha , nice to see you again, I wish you were stable and just popping in to say hi !

But , I’m so glad that you have come here for support.

BirdDancer has already talked about your drinking and how that’s just not going to help you. So I’ll leave that part be.

I think it’s a bloody disgrace what the VA does to our military , my step son served and hurt his hip while in and he’s fighting to get help for it for the past 2 years. Can you make calls to your state congressman or woman. Squeaky wheel does tend to get oil first ???

Please keep posting your not alone , lean on us, we all “ get it”

[Alpha91]

I'm trying to figure something out. My school rep has been out for the week so I cant talk to her yet. Idk how to get the motivation to stop since nothing has worked yet