Bipolar Questions Version 5

Hmm. Church organ, definitely.

Have you ever been scuba diving?

I haven't

Are you loyal? Are you also curious as to how relationships work?

Generally I'm quite loyal, but I wouldn't stick with a person who didn't deserve my loyalty. Obviously, there are some people you love and care about unconditionally, even when they give less than you (i.e. a parent or sibling). As far as serious relationships, like my marriage, I'm completely loyal. He deserves that, and he gives the same to me. We've been together for over 23 years, with no issues.

I know how relationships work, but could improve my ability to be a better friend. There are a couple factors that make that difficult for me, sometimes. It goes back to my teen years. What I do have is the ability to forgive, and I don't usually hold grudges. That's not the case for others, though. It's something we all have to accept.

Q: Are you at least a slight perfectionist, in some ways?

Probably

favourite children's book?

Little Women. Read it so many times.

Favorite current TV show?

I don't have one, I don't watch TV

What's your favourite current TV show?

This is Us is one of my favorites (I watch a lot of TV)

Question: Do you have a favorite article of clothing?

I have a certain pair of cycling tights that I really love. They were cheap.


Favorite flower and why?

Forsythia, because its beautiful and a sign of the beginning of spring. It also glows yellow like the sun. Also, there used to be a painting of a vase full of forsythia in my psychiatrist's office. I loved that painting and associated it with being with him. After years of it hanging in his office, it was suddenly gone one day. Apparently, he took it home to hang in his house. Maybe his wife asked him to? As a replacement, he hung a painting of a well-known building that resides in my childhood hometown. I rather dislike that new painting, despite not disliking the actual building in real life, or my childhood hometown. He knows all of this.

I remember the exact moment I noticed the forsythia painting replaced. I had been yapping away joyfully, then turned my head to the left and had a shock. I yelped "Oh my God! What happened to the painting!" When I looked at him, he looked as if he had been waiting for that moment. He then asked me "Do you know where that picture portrays?" I stared a bit in disappointment and eeked out that maybe it was Nova Scotia. He corrected me. I remember saying nothing more, feeling deflated.

When I got home, I directly went and wrote my psychiatrist a note on a card I had purchased weeks before. It was a lovely card with forsythia on it, and a little bumble bee, with the note "You're the best!" In the card, I acknowledged my sadness about the painting change, but thought it nice that the new one was set in my childhood hometown. I mailed the card that day. The next time I saw him, he said nothing. I said nothing about the card, either.

For years, when the forsythia painting was in his office, I would always draw my psychiatrist's attention to when forsythia was first blooming in the spring. I would say, "Dr. R, did you see that the forsythia is blooming?"

In response, he would always say "I know, BirdDancer."

After he replaced the painting, I stopped saying that. That was a good three years ago. Then, weeks back from today, during our first video session because of the pandemic, at the end of our session I said "Dr. R, did you see that the forsythia started blooming?"

I know he heard my question, but he said nothing, yet a smile came to his face, almost as if he was touched that I said it again.

During my most recent video session, my psychiatrist sat in a different spot of his office. Behind him, I could see the painting of that famous building in my childhood hometown. He has a light shining on it, so it kind of glowed. Towards the end of the session, I told him that it glowed. He then asked me if the painting was growing on me. I said "A little bit." but it really isn't. But that's OK.

Q: Is there something (besides a person) that you treasure?

I treasure a fabulous caricature of me i had done 25 years ago. It's got this huge head with a giant smile and a teeny body, very flatteringly built -- the artist used his imagination! It's a charcoal sketch. It was done by an artist who was set up on a sidewalk downtown. He barely spoke English. It only took him five minutes! He was sooooooooo talented! It only cost $10! It is me pictured as a superhero, Wonder Woman, as i was being a political activist in those days and called myself "Jane Justice." I asked him to put a "J" on the torso shield but he didn't understand and put an "S" but whatever. I've kept hold of that sketch all thru all the chaos of my early thirties, thru five cities. When i abandoned all my possessions in the last move it was one of the few things i kept.

What do you fantasize about?

Being a grizzly bear and hibernating

Do you prefer autumn or winter?

Autumn - I find it beautiful and I do not like winter at all

Question: Do you know how to swim?

Yes, I can swim

Do you often cry?

I am not really capable of crying any more.

Do you go to bed at the same time every night?

Pretty much, around 10. Managing sleep is really important for me to stay stable. Relatively that is.

Are you afraid to try new meds?

No, not at all.

Worst med you have ever been on?

It's between Depakote ER and Invega. I was on both simultaneously, about 9 to 10 years ago. They did halt my mania, but I became very depressed on them. The worst and longest depression of my life. I won't even mention the horrible side effects.

Q: What were the best years of your life?

I much prefer tea. I don't make coffee at home, but will sometimes order it at a restaurant or drink it at work if I'm particularly exhausted.

What was your first job?

Shoveling snow for an outlet mall

Sweet or salty snacks?

Sweet. Really don't like salty.

Have you traveled outside your native country?