[SorryShaped]

I'm feeling like people are doing things directly to push me around, anger me, and to be bossy. It makes me want to tell everyone off constantly and it drives me nuts. I think they do it because it makes me unhinged. I'm hiding right now, in my home, under a sheet in the corner. Nobody can bother me here and I feel safe here as long as nobody I'm currently distrusting tries very hard to contact me. I'm also staying hungry, even though I'm eating. I feel like I haven't constantly. I'm sleeping in bits and pieces and uncomfortably every time. There has to be something I can do to stop this?

[Pookyl]

Do you have any PRN’s? Something that’s worked for you in the past when you’ve become paranoid?

[SorryShaped]

Originally Posted by Pookyl

Do you have any PRN’s? Something that’s worked for you in the past when you’ve become paranoid?

No. Paranoia usually subsides, but it seems like it's still ramping up. I want to be held but also not be around anyone.

[imaginethat]

An old therapist taught me to envision myself with feelers on my head. When I'm paranoid, the feelers are too sensitive. They're getting more stimulation than is necessary. This helped me in the past.

I also suggest reaching out to a friend of family member whom you can trust. It can really help to talk to someone about your feelings. Or you could call the Suicide hotline and talk to someone. Or you could go to a depression or bipolar support group. Just a few ideas. Hope your suffering abates.

[SorryShaped]

Originally Posted by imaginethat

I also suggest reaching out to a friend of family member whom you can trust. It can really help to talk to someone about your feelings. Or you could call the Suicide hotline and talk to someone. Or you could go to a depression or bipolar support group. Just a few ideas. Hope your suffering abates.

That's the problem with paranoia, I can't trust anyone. That's a half-joke. I'm not suicidal, so they probably wouldn't care if I called a suicide help line? The closest support groups are over half an hour's drive away and only once weekly. I've also never been, because I've never felt like I could do it regularly. I'm not a church person, but I am a sort of religious type. I know I've got to let things go, be like The Dude, but it's difficult when it seems like I'm Walter and nobody gives a _$_& about the rules

[Wild Coyote]

It's been clear you are a spiritual person. Does the paranoia interfere with the foundation of your beliefs?

I ask because, sometimes, our Spiritual beliefs/knowledge can help us to get through tough times safely. Sometimes not so much.

I am sorry you don't seem to have a strong support system right now. I am sorry, I am not up-to-date on whether or not your ex-wife is still a part of your life. If so, is she someone you can speak to/rely on during crises? Sometimes, our exes understand what we go through more than anyone else understands, because they have lived with us, sometimes for many years.

Is there anyone else you trust?

We are here for you, yet as you know, our online support has some real limitations.

I do hope you are feeling better today!
Keep us posted?

[fern46]

Originally Posted by SorryShaped

That's the problem with paranoia, I can't trust anyone. That's a half-joke. I'm not suicidal, so they probably wouldn't care if I called a suicide help line? The closest support groups are over half an hour's drive away and only once weekly. I've also never been, because I've never felt like I could do it regularly. I'm not a church person, but I am a sort of religious type. I know I've got to let things go, be like The Dude, but it's difficult when it seems like I'm Walter and nobody gives a _$_& about the rules

I just wanted to point out that it appears you are allowing us to attempt to assist. You put yourself out there and that requires a great deal of trust. Maybe keeping in mind that you can and have trusted today will help a little. I'm sorry you are feeling this way. I'm trying to imagine what it would feel like and I feel it would be terribly uncomfortable. It will pass though and you will find your way back to brighter days. I'm hopeful it will resolve soon.

[Jedi67]

I am sorry you are struggling now with all of this, SorryShaped. I'm praying this passes for you quickly. I can't imagine what you are going thru, but I hope it all goes away for you. It will pass and you will feel better. stay strong and I am sending comfort, peace and prayers your way. take care and keep reaching out here.

[SorryShaped]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

It's been clear you are a spiritual person. Does the paranoia interfere with the foundation of your beliefs?


I ask because, sometimes, our Spiritual beliefs/knowledge can help us to get through tough times safely. Sometimes not so much.


I am sorry you don't seem to have a strong support system right now. I am sorry, I am not up-to-date on whether or not your ex-wife is still a part of your life. If so, is she someone you can speak to/rely on during crises? Sometimes, our exes understand what we go through more than anyone else understands, because they have lived with us, sometimes for many years.


Is there anyone else you trust?


We are here for you, yet as you know, our online support has some real limitations.


I do hope you are feeling better today!

Keep us posted?

Paranoia interferes with everything, including what I believe in.
I'm still sometimes hanging out with the ex, but as she didn't bother to try to understand bipolar until the marriage was over, I haven't any reason to rely on her.
I'm at my parents' home today to help out for a while, but wearing a "mask of ok." They're cluelessness knows no bounds. It's always been my fault, even bipolar.
I'm not much better today, maybe worse. I've got a facial tic that's making my jaw and eye hurt. This happens sometimes when I'm manic. Yikes.
Thank you, here is the only place I really feel safe to say how I am doing.

[Wild Coyote]

I hope your day at your parents is helpful. I know it has been difficult to spend a lot of time there in the past.

I am glad you feel you can reach out here.
I am thinking of you and hoping your day brings about more relief and more hope.
We are here for you!

[Jedi67]

happy to hear you feel safe here and that you will keep reaching out. hope this passes soon for you, SorryShaped. I pray you find the relief you are searching for no matter how elusive it feels.

[SorryShaped]

Thanks everyone.
I feel like there's something huge missing, and I have no idea what it is. But, that's life, I usually feel that way.

[Victoria'smom]

Hopefully it passes quickly.

[MickeyCheeky]

We're here for you, SorryShaped. You're in my Thoughts and Prayers. Please keep us updated if you can. We care and you know it. Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH You and your Family, @SorryShaped!

[SorryShaped]

Thanks all, again.
I think I need to not have as much caffeine. I've only had a coffee first thing and a tea just a bit ago. I noticed the anxiety went up after that tea. I'm in a panic from overload. Gotta back off the caffeine

[Jedi67]

Originally Posted by SorryShaped

Thanks all, again.
I think I need to not have as much caffeine. I've only had a coffee first thing and a tea just a bit ago. I noticed the anxiety went up after that tea. I'm in a panic from overload. Gotta back off the caffeine

yeah, caffeine def will cause the anxiety to flare up. especially if I'm already anxious when I get up. I'm so used to drinking java that when I get up some days, I don't listen to my body and mind, and I become a big bag of nerves.

I've already had 3 cups today and if it wasn't because I slept good last night, I would definitely be agitated. try decaf chamomile tea though, it will help!

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by SorryShaped

Thanks all, again.
I think I need to not have as much caffeine. I've only had a coffee first thing and a tea just a bit ago. I noticed the anxiety went up after that tea. I'm in a panic from overload. Gotta back off the caffeine

I understand. I cannot tolerate much caffeine myself.

Do I recall correctly that you used to use some alternative methods (herbs? Maybe kava kava or other) to help calm you?
I think you have also done yoga? Maybe?

If so, are either of these an option at this point?

I am sorry, I don't recall if you have a pdoc readily available?

I am thinking of you and sending calming vibes.

[SorryShaped]

I see my pdoc Tuesday. I do have kava and tried some, but I still felt suspicious of everyone. I did go workout super hard tonight and that did help. Unfortunately, she was there, the one I have a crush on. I kept noticing our eyes locking and that's crushing me. I couldn't be anything to anyone, and I know it.

[Jedi67]

good luck with your PDoc on Tuesday. best wishes, SorryShaped.