[HALLIEBETH87]

I’m
So anxious I’my feeling sick. So I ate a sandwich and drank some water. More water. More worry.

I worry about everything. I’m very worried about my living situation. My t even suggested we start looking into section 8 for me.

I have mean relatives who constantly have snide comments that I live at my granny’s rent free. I want tk move I do but my granny can’t live alone anymore. Why can’t they see that? She keeps falling and having medical emergencies that I discover. If I hadn’t been there two weeks ago...omg idk what would have happened. She’d have passed out in the kitchen in a hard wooden floor. I’m the one who called ems. I kept her upright in a chair while she vomited and choked and spat. I was so scared. But if I hadn’t been there???

Idk how my life will play out. I wish I could get an apartment but I can’t afford rent. I guess I’ll sign up for section 8 and see if I’m eligible. I get disability every month and work a small part time job on weekends.

I wish I were normal and could work two jobs and live alone and survive on my own and be all productive like they’re expecting me to be but the truth is I’m working 16 hrs a week and I manage that ok but it’s not enough money without help from ssdi. And I wish I didn’t have so much ****ing medical debt from hospitals and credit card debt from mania (I’m working on paying those off and cutting them up.)’

I have a lot of worries and wishes.

So for now. I’m 33 and living with my grandmother who says herself she can’t live alone. I take two college classes and I work 16 hrs a week. And my grades are passing so that’s all I care about.

I just worry. I’m sick.

[~Christina]

Well ... because we live on messenger together I know the struggles you have

The truth is Granny is no longer safe to live alone. She’s lucky your there.. you buy the food and make her true meals... if you didn’t she would live off junk food and maybe frozen meals. So you might not be paying an actual. . Rent “ you spend plenty on food and taking her out and to doctors appts etc

As for your axxzhole relatives I think you need to just be totally blunt with them, I know that’s hard for you... maybe collect your thoughts and email them ??? Surely granny would have needed a nursing home in the past year and o think she would just give up on living if she were placed in one.

I do think you should get on section 8 housing waiting list.. maybe you won’t need it but it’s probably 2+ year wait list.

Ahhh medical debt that is just a reality of being a human being, we that need mental health services will rack up more debt especially if we need IP. Your doing well with making monthly payments, I have lots of debt out there I literally can’t pay, one day I’ll wind up in court.

I think you need to see if there’s anyway to combine the debt and be able to make a smaller overall monthly payment.. I should look into that also

Your striving to get a degree that will certainly increase your pay.

I’m happy that you are working parttime , college courses, being active with your church, being there for granny, cooking and cleaning. So you are Doing ALOT ! So keep that in mind. Talk to Matt about ways to work towards easing your ongoing stress.

You got this my friend ! I love you

[Wild Coyote]

(((((( HallieBeth ))))))

Lots of love!

[Pookyl]

I have no words of wisdom. However I do know how you feel - I’m also anxious to the point that I’m constantly wanting to vomit.
Looking at my life no one understands what I have to be anxious about. But I worry. And I worry All. The. Time. About. Everything.
You’re achieving a lot. So from one worrier to another, take some deep breaths and keep putting one foot in front of another.
The anxiety that we feel has to stop one day, right?

[*Beth*]

I don't have words of wisdom, either - but I do understand the effing anxiety and worry. Meds take the edge off sometimes, but when the concerns are real, the worry is real, too. It's the extreme anxiety that is such a hell.

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Surely granny would have needed a nursing home in the past year and o think she would just give up on living if she were placed in one.

Not just that, but some nursing homes are abusive or plain don't care. It's awful. Even the luxury nursing homes have the same problem.

My great uncle bob would have lived longer if he weren't in a nursing home. He fell, broke his hip, and was laying on the ground for god knows how long. (My great aunt was with him at the time, so she told us this story.) He had to get emergency surgery, and then he fell AGAIN because he was wandering. Got surgery again and died of complications.

The poor guy had Alzheimer's and no one was watching him. Everyone at a nursing home knows that people with dementia and Alzheimer's wander around. But nope, they didn't care. They gave 0 damns. He should have been placed in a memory care unit, but they didn't do that. My great aunt kept pushing for it, but they were lazy and kept "losing" the paperwork.

I, personally, think that nursing homes (and even skilled nursing facilities) should be an absolute last resort. It's better to have visiting nurses when you can. The only reason we placed our grandma in a nursing home is that she had dementia AND bipolar, and we couldn't get visiting nurses to come over. And even then, we had her in IP before we put her in a nursing home. At least IP was more caring...

Sorry for the rant, but it does piss me off the way the elderly are abused.

Christina and bluebicycle gave some great examples of how significant you are in your grandmother's life. Believe me, I understand how you must be, too. It's a shame your other family members don't recognize that properly. If they had to take care of your grandmother, they would finally understand and thank you to pieces for what you are doing.

Assisted living and nursing homes cost thousands of dollars per month, and they are institutional. Even the nicest ones are, to a slight degree. I am sure your grandmother is very grateful that she can live at home with the care and companionship of a loved one, like you.

I'm sorry you've been dealing with a lot of anxiety. I hope that eases soon. I hope that considering what has been said, you can put the unfounded criticisms aside.

[bizi]

Helping to care for your grandmother is the most important thing that you are doing.
know that!!!!!!!
bizi

Sorry you're struggling so much with this, but as other posters said you're doing a great thing for your grandma. Keep that in mind.

[Sometimes psychotic]

It sounds like you’re right where you need to be right now....but if that changes in the future they have fall detection pedants that will dial 911 for you.

[MickeyCheeky]

I understand your Anxiety, @HALLIEBETH87! Personally I think you have PLENTY to be proud about. You are working, studying, taking care of yourself and your Grandmother and keeping yourself busy. Not many people would be able to do what you're doing - I know I certainly would struggle doing ALL of this! So good job! Ignore what your mean relatives are saying. I hope you have GOOD, SUPPORTIVE relatives as well in your Life! Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @HALLIEBETH87, your Family, your Friends, your Grandmother and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

[Wild Coyote]

I am so sorry, Hallie, that family is does not recognize all you have done and are doing. I am so sorry they do not support you.

I have a very similar situation with my mom. There is little acknowledgement for all I do for/with her, as far as siblings go. There is very little support. I am older than you, so I have had more time in life to try to accept these facts. It is still hard at times, though. We do what we feel is right, regardless of what others think. Sometimes, doing so can be a lonely road.

It sounds like you are also giving some consideration to possibly an eventual move into section 8 housing?
I hope this works out for you if this meets your needs. I have been disabled for many years now. When first disabled, I had sought out section 8 housing. I had two truly wonderful homes with that assistance.

Keep us posted. We are here for you!

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

Not just that, but some nursing homes are abusive or plain don't care. It's awful. Even the luxury nursing homes have the same problem.


My great uncle bob would have lived longer if he weren't in a nursing home. He fell, broke his hip, and was laying on the ground for god knows how long. (My great aunt was with him at the time, so she told us this story.) He had to get emergency surgery, and then he fell AGAIN because he was wandering. Got surgery again and died of complications.


The poor guy had Alzheimer's and no one was watching him. Everyone at a nursing home knows that people with dementia and Alzheimer's wander around. But nope, they didn't care. They gave 0 damns. He should have been placed in a memory care unit, but they didn't do that. My great aunt kept pushing for it, but they were lazy and kept "losing" the paperwork.


I, personally, think that nursing homes (and even skilled nursing facilities) should be an absolute last resort. It's better to have visiting nurses when you can. The only reason we placed our grandma in a nursing home is that she had dementia AND bipolar, and we couldn't get visiting nurses to come over. And even then, we had her in IP before we put her in a nursing home. At least IP was more caring...


Sorry for the rant, but it does piss me off the way the elderly are abused.

It’s very true! My last 8 years of working was in a nursing home ....I truly treated them like they were my parents or grandparents for 12 hours a day they got the best care I could give. The other 12 hours ? I hope they did well.. that company was the best nursing home I have ever seen. They were very strict about care, but some people just don’t care enough sadly.

I worked in a god awful horrible place and as soon as I ended my first shift I called the state to report them.

Unfortunately so many people wind up there