Bipolar check in #37

Wild Coyote · Sep 16, 2019 at 05:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Filled out the vocational rehab program application with my care manager. Going to be looking into Section 8 housing too since the current place I live is way to expensive for me and it takes up all my money. Saw my therapist too and got the letter stating my 2 cats are emotional support animals

You should be proud of all you are doing to make life better for yourself!
I hope it all works out well for you!

I am looking forward to hearing more!

Blue_Bird · Sep 16, 2019 at 05:39 PM

Thank you Christina and WC, I'm excited about my future

Sunflower123 · Sep 16, 2019 at 05:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~Christina

50.00 off is nice!! I’d splurge on some stuff too.

I’d seriously eat just the tart for dinner lol

I have been very diligent about my face and neck skin also. My grandmother and my mom hard harsh looking skin far to young but years of working on the farm and sunscreen wasn’t even a thing back then, so I’m trying like hell to avoid that. I have one spot on my face , it’s a semi dark spot and my dermatologist said one day we need to remove it, not cancer at this point , but it will leave a much lighter spot so I don’t want it dark nor white LOL

I was stupid once and did tanning beds for about 6 months

I’ve started becoming more diligent about skin care as well. I grew up by this pool and then we had a boat when I was married for 19 years so I’ve had a lot of sun exposure. Surprisingly, my skin is wrinkle and spot free with a dewy appearance. I’ve been lucky because I lived in tanning beds.

May not have gotten too lucky. I have a growth that came up on my leg this summer that looks ominous. I’ll have to get it checked out.

My dermatologist recommended Cera Ve as well. She prescribed an expensive ointment for my face for some patches of eczema that didn’t get the job done. I stumbled into this sunscreen called Sun Bum with antioxidants and vitamin E that completely cleared it up...better then ever in case anybody has that problem. Good stuff.

Sunflower123 · Sep 16, 2019 at 05:58 PM

I’m doing well. Mood, sleep and anxiety levels are all in line. My mood log has displayed all good days in September with only one meh day. I’m stable right now. I feel a loss without the pool now...floating at the Y is just not the same.

I’m going to a new meet up next Tuesday called Reality Transurfing based on a new philosophy translated from Russian. My interest in it is the metaphysical/universal laws and the teachings of people like Eckhart Tolle. I’m looking forward to it.

This Sunday I’m traveling half way to share a meal with my daughter. I’m looking forward to that as well. The meal, the great coffee and my sweet girl.

Warm wishes to all and many hugs to those that are struggling.

Scooter9 · Sep 16, 2019 at 06:32 PM

It turned out to be a really low day for me today. It got a little better late in the evening.

There was no trigger just another low day.

I don't think I'm willing to continue living between low and really low. I just have less terrible days.

I'm going to ask my pdoc to either replace Wellbutrin or add something to it.

It's going to be 6 weeks of Wellbutrin this Friday. And I've actually been on it longer because my pdoc increased the dose over 2 months, so I think I've given it a fair chance.

xRavenx · Sep 16, 2019 at 06:33 PM

Not sure who I can really talk to. I will share certain things with people, but I am a burden to my mother and friends (the few that I have) only know vague things and aren't really able to understand. As far as my thoughts go, I am uncertain what's real vs. what's not. All I know is that I feel completely unworthy, trapped, incapable. I'm losing ground, exhausted, feel everything is pointless. I just feel like sleeping. Not sure what to do anymore.

Daonnachd · Sep 16, 2019 at 06:46 PM

I'm feeling worthless and burdensome. So much so that I haven't pushed myself to bother you with it. Today I called the ECT coordinator and we moved my appointment to this Friday. She also told me that my name had come up as a good person to help new patients negociate the anxieties and questions that boil up early on in the ECT treatment process. They want to wait until I'm through this though.

BeyondtheRainbow · Sep 16, 2019 at 06:53 PM

Daonnachd, so sorry you've been feeling bad. I'm glad you were able to move your ECT up. That's great that they want you to mentor new ECT patients. I'm sure you'll be great at it (but glad you will recover first).

fern46 · Sep 16, 2019 at 07:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Daonnachd

I'm feeling worthless and burdensome. So much so that I haven't pushed myself to bother you with it. Today I called the ECT coordinator and we moved my appointment to this Friday. She also told me that my name had come up as a good person to help new patients negociate the anxieties and questions that boil up early on in the ECT treatment process. They want to wait until I'm through this though.

It is good to hear from you. I'm sorry you have been feeling that way. I hope the treatment makes a difference.

~Christina · Sep 16, 2019 at 07:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I’ve started becoming more diligent about skin care as well. I grew up by this pool and then we had a boat when I was married for 19 years so I’ve had a lot of sun exposure. Surprisingly, my skin is wrinkle and spot free with a dewy appearance. I’ve been lucky because I lived in tanning beds.

May not have gotten too lucky. I have a growth that came up on my leg this summer that looks ominous. I’ll have to get it checked out.

My dermatologist recommended Cera Ve as well. She prescribed an expensive ointment for my face for some patches of eczema that didn’t get the job done. I stumbled into this sunscreen called Sun Bum with antioxidants and vitamin E that completely cleared it up...better then ever in case anybody has that problem. Good stuff.

Ahhhh the boat life too hu? We had a boat growing up , I can’t imagine the number of sunburns I have had in my life.

My daughter is a red head and I was like a Nazi about sun screen on her growing up. She of course would forget to put it on and her freckles just blossomed , she is beautiful, her hair is currently Blue at the moment LOL.

I love all the CeraVe products. They do a great job and a little bit goes so far and it’s affordable !

~Christina · Sep 16, 2019 at 07:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I’m doing well. Mood, sleep and anxiety levels are all in line. My mood log has displayed all good days in September with only one meh day. I’m stable right now. I feel a loss without the pool now...floating at the Y is just not the same.

I’m going to a new meet up next Tuesday called Reality Transurfing based on a new philosophy translated from Russian. My interest in it is the metaphysical/universal laws and the teachings of people like Eckhart Tolle. I’m looking forward to it.

This Sunday I’m traveling half way to share a meal with my daughter. I’m looking forward to that as well. The meal, the great coffee and my sweet girl.

Warm wishes to all and many hugs to those that are struggling.

Wow that meetup sounds Amazing.

The closest meet up of anyyyy kind is at least an hour away. So that bums me out. I sometimes walk a fence line on our property that a guy has lots of cows on, they always listen to me ramble so ....

I’m so glad you are seeing your daughter, when my daughter was in college up here it was 4 hours away we would meet in the middle a couple times a month.

Hugs!!

~Christina · Sep 16, 2019 at 07:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xRavenx

Not sure who I can really talk to. I will share certain things with people, but I am a burden to my mother and friends (the few that I have) only know vague things and aren't really able to understand. As far as my thoughts go, I am uncertain what's real vs. what's not. All I know is that I feel completely unworthy, trapped, incapable. I'm losing ground, exhausted, feel everything is pointless. I just feel like sleeping. Not sure what to do anymore.

Ummmm I have felt the same way, and Oh boy does it suck.

My advice is just stop fighting it, just float for a while , just accept that however you feel is just okay, we often fight to swim upstream that we literally run out of gas. So time to float so you will build back up to fight again.

Give yourself a break

~Christina · Sep 16, 2019 at 07:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Daonnachd

I'm feeling worthless and burdensome. So much so that I haven't pushed myself to bother you with it. Today I called the ECT coordinator and we moved my appointment to this Friday. She also told me that my name had come up as a good person to help new patients negociate the anxieties and questions that boil up early on in the ECT treatment process. They want to wait until I'm through this though.

I’m so sorry your feeling so terrible. It’s good your appt has been moved up.

My T once asked me if I’d consider talking to one of his other clients that was struggling with something I had worked through and came to terms with it. It really made me feel great that I was able to help her.

I’m sure you will be able to make many people feel more comfortable about ect treatment.

Be kind to yourself

Sep 16, 2019 at 07:41 PM

Scooter, xRavenx, and Doannachd, I am sorry to read that you're all struggling. I hope some changes to your treatment (extra ECT for Daonnachd) will make a quick positive difference.

Daonnachd, no pressure, but if you happened to visit the new "Bipolar Treatments" sub forum all the way at the top of the Bipolar forum, it would be great to have your experience in the ECT thread - if you wish to.

~Christina · Sep 16, 2019 at 07:45 PM

Okay so basically no sleep in 2 days and I’m wide awake, I can’t imagine getting sleepy any time soon.

I’m zooming I think.

Hopefully a Xanax or 2 later will let me drift off for a lil while at least... if nothing else I force myself to lay down and stare at the wall for at least 4 hours , maybe I’ll doze off out of sheer boredom , it sometimes happens.

I made the most sucky boring pork chops on the planet tonight. I have no idea what went wrong but Meh ! I hate making a meal and it being total suckage.

I bought chocolate today so I’ll nibble later and I know that’s gonna taste soooooo damn good lol

Sep 16, 2019 at 07:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I’ve started becoming more diligent about skin care as well. I grew up by this pool and then we had a boat when I was married for 19 years so I’ve had a lot of sun exposure. Surprisingly, my skin is wrinkle and spot free with a dewy appearance. I’ve been lucky because I lived in tanning beds.

May not have gotten too lucky. I have a growth that came up on my leg this summer that looks ominous. I’ll have to get it checked out.

My dermatologist recommended Cera Ve as well. She prescribed an expensive ointment for my face for some patches of eczema that didn’t get the job done. I stumbled into this sunscreen called Sun Bum with antioxidants and vitamin E that completely cleared it up...better then ever in case anybody has that problem. Good stuff.

You're so lucky! I have gotten a rather large age spot, but it doesn't bother me where it is. Right now I only really have one wrinkle. It's a vertical wrinkle between my eye brows. I've sort of had it even since my late 20s, but it's deeper and more noticeable now. My solution? Bangs.

Sep 16, 2019 at 07:47 PM

Feel pretty bad, but I managed not to sleep during the day.

I'm trying to hold out until Friday because that's when I see my therapist. I'm hoping that things improve on their own by then. Maybe the increase in AP dose will help; maybe it will not. I don't know. But I do know I have to give it a chance to work and I have to spend my energy finding a new pdoc in the office instead of spending that energy dwelling on the negative.

That said, I hope everyone had a good day today. Wish I could say mine was "good" even though good things happened. I've just had dark thoughts that have made my otherwise good day a bad one.

On the upside, I did not fall asleep during the day and I got some stuff done.

Nammu · Sep 16, 2019 at 07:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Ahhhh the boat life too hu? We had a boat growing up , I can’t imagine the number of sunburns I have had in my life.

My daughter is a red head and I was like a Nazi about sun screen on her growing up. She of course would forget to put it on and her freckles just blossomed , she is beautiful, her hair is currently Blue at the moment LOL.

I love all the CeraVe products. They do a great job and a little bit goes so far and it’s affordable !

My daughter is a red head too, she loves her hair color and has never dyed it. Bonus my granddaughter inherited the red hair and blue eyes genes

Sep 16, 2019 at 07:52 PM

Christina, my food delivery did arrive, but I didn't make the duck because I realized it needs 6 to 12 hours of marinading. I'll make that tomorrow. We did still have a wonderful meal. I made homemade rice pilaf and veal chops with chantarelle mushrooms (girolles) and a watercress puree sauce. It was delicious! The dang fig tart is out of this world!

On Wednesday, I'll make hubby veal liver in some way. I don't like liver. I'm unsure what I'll eat that night.

Victoria'smom · Sep 16, 2019 at 08:09 PM

I'm so done with everything. I'm so tired.

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Bipolar check in #37

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Blue_Bird Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2013 Location: Middle Earth Posts: 37,459 (SuperPoster!) 11 15k hugs given	Sep 16, 2019 at 05:39 PM #462 Thank you Christina and WC, I'm excited about my future __________________ “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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Victoria'smom Legendary Member Since Apr 2012 Location: Earth Posts: 15,313 (SuperPoster!) 12 5,631 hugs given	Sep 16, 2019 at 08:09 PM #480 I'm so done with everything. I'm so tired. __________________ Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog
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