[HALLIEBETH87]

I’d just really have never existed than to deal daily with all the ******** in my damn life. I’m not suicidal just gah fed up!

Why should anyone have to deal with as much as we do?!

Why should I even bother!?

[bizi]

I am sorry you are overwhelmed right now. what has helped you in the past deal with these strong emotions?
(((((HUGS))))
bizi

[bpcyclist]

I honestly don't know why we are asked to deal with so very much. So much more than most 'normal' people. I don't understand it and I don't like it.

I have to ride under this thing we have here called the Steel Bridge to get to these cool places I ride my bike. There are a ton of homeless people spread out, trying to hide from the very-much-coming rainy season. Most are in sleeping bags. Some have tents. Anyway, I ride through there every morning and I say my prayers for them. I pray that they have some food and that they aren't too cold. I pray that they are dry and not in any physical danger. And I pray that they can somehow, some way find services for their addictions and mental illnesses. And then I ride away on my fancy Swiss bike.

The thing about doing that every day is I have realized--that could be me. That should be me. The only reason I am not homeless and living under the west end of the Steel Bridge is that I made some wise financial decisions in my youth. It was just luck, really. And so now I have shelter and food and medicine.

I was in healthcare for a long time. A very wise teacher of mine once said: "If you think it can't get worse, it can. It can get much, much, much worse."

So, when I am feeling overwrought and overwhelmed, which is a lot of the time, I try to think of those people living under the Steel Bridge and I remind myself how lucky I am.

[sophiebunny]

Given how I grew up and what I had to endure to stay alive, I count my blessings everyday that I have a clean place to live, food in my refrigerator, a superb treatment team, the ability to write, and most importantly...my ability to pray. Yes, I have horrible physical and psychiatric scars left from back then and bipolar 1 disorder with psychosis, DID, and OCD go along with it. However, my life is now what I make it to be. Yes, I will always be limited but I will also always be grateful for the people and events that have blessed my life since those wretched days. I owe it to the people in my adult life who went the extra 100 miles for me to succeed to the best of my ability. It's all in your perspective.

[~Christina]

You know we talked a lot about this earlier.. I’m hoping you sound asleep right now.

Your here for a reason, lean on your faith, that brings you some comfort.

I still think you should focus on things down the road , new job ... you have your Florida trip next month. Plane trip and a beach ! Yay! Maybe buy a new journal to take with you ??

I don’t think this is a “ Bipolar problem” I think it’s more of just “unhappiness” with how your life is right now.

Unfortunately your family just isn’t as understanding and compassionate as you would hope for and that just plain freaking sucks !

My advice is actively seek out new people to spend time with. You are a giver , that’s so obvious with all the work you do for your church youth group. But you need more than helping keep kids out of trouble and your job , which is also you “ giving and care taking”

I think your lonely and that’s a terrible feeling. I still say invest in yourself try Christian Mingle since your faith is important to you.

Will having a man in your life magically fix things ?? Nope and it brings its own set of challenges, but I think that’s part of what’s lacking in your life right now. You need companionship.

Keep working with your T , be open and honest about how your feeling about life in general . You know Matt will have some wise advice.

I’m always here for you cutie

[Wild Coyote]

Halliebeth, I have faith you will find happiness in your life. You are lucky, in that you get a lot of very balanced input whenever you reach out! People care very much and have your best interests at heart!