Bipolar Check-In #38

Blue_Bird · Sep 30, 2019 at 06:30 PM

Started a new thread since the last one reached 100 pages.

How's everyone doing?

Nammu · Sep 30, 2019 at 06:32 PM

Oh yeah, I noticed when it was at 99 but missed that it went so far past that. Thanks.

Moose72 · Sep 30, 2019 at 06:57 PM

That went quickly!

fern46 · Sep 30, 2019 at 07:13 PM

Thanks Blue Bird! I'm good. I'm relaxing and drinking my sleepy time tea. Hopefully it will help me sleep soundly tonight.

Moose72 · Sep 30, 2019 at 07:22 PM

Bright lights against the dull shine of the signal post- red, now green, now yellow holding, aaaand red! The cool air sneaks around my ankles- Whoosh! It's cool, fresh as I inhale deeply. Honk! Beep! I step out, wanting to be one with the light, as it is reflected- hardness, brightly, swiftly- I am one with the hardness, bone against flesh, steel against steel, to meet is their desire! O what joy! What quiet delight! As one, and snow gently falls around. Now red! And white and green! And STOP.

Moose72 · Sep 30, 2019 at 07:38 PM

Walking through the fog I breathe in its viscosity. The cars drive one way- a wiper swipes- then the other whooshing by. They don't exist. I can walk between the most and air as it overburdens my lungs, thick. The air blows around my ankles and is soothing.
Whirling through the cars like the fog. Like the ghost that I am. I don't exist. Time changes. Every bit of what I am and was and could be are now one. I take another step. One. Two. The lights change. The fog lays low, cuddling around the hard bright surfaces of metal. I step again. Red.... Green. Step. Whoosh! Honk! I am free! Time and I are one. I step again.... Breathe in that thick air. Stop.

Wander · Sep 30, 2019 at 09:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moose72

Walking through the fog I breathe in its viscosity. The cars drive one way- a wiper swipes- then the other whooshing by. They don't exist. I can walk between the most and air as it overburdens my lungs, thick. The air blows around my ankles and is soothing.
Whirling through the cars like the fog. Like the ghost that I am. I don't exist. Time changes. Every bit of what I am and was and could be are now one. I take another step. One. Two. The lights change. The fog lays low, cuddling around the hard bright surfaces of metal. I step again. Red.... Green. Step. Whoosh! Honk! I am free! Time and I are one. I step again.... Breathe in that thick air. Stop.

Thank you for sharing. So beautifully written. You have a gift.

Wander · 12:50 AM

Listening to music turned up incredibly loud. My parents stereo is an experience that brings me great joy. Since yesterday my mood has picked up. Almost at baseline. Sigh. I hope that episode is over. I still feel on edge but it isn't tormenting like before. This afternoon a close friend who I rarely see is dropping over with her cute puppy. It should be wonderful. I see my T tomorrow and pdoc Thursday. It will be great to get their feedback on how I should continue (or even if) tapering off of Lithium. Maybe the worst is over?

Moose72 · Sep 30, 2019 at 09:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wander

Thank you for sharing. So beautifully written. You have a gift.

Thank you. This landed me IP! I don't remember the specifics, but my pdoc called and whatever I said to her as I was thinking these thoughts prompted her to tell me to go straight to the psych ER.

Wander · Sep 30, 2019 at 09:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moose72

Thank you. This landed me IP! I don't remember the specifics, but my pdoc called and whatever I said to her as I was thinking these thoughts prompted her to tell me to go straight to the psych ER.

How are you today?

Moose72 · Sep 30, 2019 at 09:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wander

Listening to music turned up incredibly loud. My parents stereo is an experience that brings me great joy. Since yesterday my mood has picked up. Almost at baseline. Sigh. I hope that episode is over. I still feel on edge but it isn't tormenting like before. This afternoon a close friend who I rarely see is dropping over with her cute puppy. It should be wonderful. I see my T tomorrow and pdoc Thursday. It will be great to get their feedback on how I should precede (or even if) tapering off of Lithium. Maybe the worst is over?

It sounds like the worst is over, yes.

Perfect timing to see you pdoc and T!

Wild Coyote · Sep 30, 2019 at 09:45 PM

Thanks for the new thread, BlueBird!

Long and quiet day today. Just trying to put things into perspective. So much to think about. Much to consider while making serious life decisions.
I hope everyone has a good night!

Moose72 · Sep 30, 2019 at 09:59 PM

I'm in bed. I just put my bipap on. That's a signal to my brain that its time to sleep.

bizi · Sep 30, 2019 at 11:15 PM

I think my right foot/ankle is a bit better today. September 11th got out of bed and it was painful. I was in bed for crying out loud!
Geesh....getting older is an adventure.
bizi

fern46 · Oct 01, 2019 at 05:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moose72

Thank you. This landed me IP! I don't remember the specifics, but my pdoc called and whatever I said to her as I was thinking these thoughts prompted her to tell me to go straight to the psych ER.

To be honest, it made me wonder if you were playing in traffic on a busy street. I figured it would be hard to phone post and dodge cars, so you were safe.

Tucson · Oct 01, 2019 at 06:17 AM

I am waxing my floors! I have been in the process of this for a couple weeks, but I finally decided to just do it! Tomorrow, I will complete the job, doing a half a room at a time. This is also motivating me to clean up the rooms too. Here it is 4 AM and just now am I feeling tired. Lately it has been up and down for me. I went "hog wild" at Costcos yesterday. Now I have basically a months worth of meals. I will still have to repurchase a couple items in two weeks, like milk, and eggs. I even am trying their ice cream, which is fairly rich (29% fat). I also got on both E-Bay and Amazon to purchase some items for the kitchen. With all of this spending as of late, I am having to sell a couple lenses to my camera to pay for my new debt. I do it to myself every tine.

I have been watching movies and listening to music. This has been cheering me up some from my depression. So my life right this moment is not too bad. I am watching "Apollo 18". I have been listening to the Eagles, and Rolling Stones.

Nammu · Oct 01, 2019 at 07:24 AM

I'm off to jury duty in a half hour. I'll find out then if they have ASL interpretation. If they don't this will be a very short duty.

fern46 · Oct 01, 2019 at 09:10 AM

@BipolarWolf - I finally listened to Get Up by Shinedown. You nailed it! That is exactly what I was trying to say

You know what you are aiming for and I hold every hope you will have it again one day.

BipolarWolf · Oct 01, 2019 at 09:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fern46

@BipolarWolf - I finally listened to Get Up by Shinedown. You nailed it! That is exactly what I was trying to say

You know what you are aiming for and I hold every hope you will have it again one day.

Nice Fern. Thank you. I love that song. Its an older one. But still good. It really gets me going. I hope that I can.

Nammu · Oct 01, 2019 at 09:20 AM

T'was a very short day! No terps available today so back I go into the pool. I think they just wanted to know if I was going to show up. I made a very good impression tho as I was the most dressed up person there. I thought you were supposed to dress nice for court?

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Bipolar Check-In #38

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Blue_Bird Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2013 Location: Middle Earth Posts: 37,498 (SuperPoster!) 11 15k hugs given	Sep 30, 2019 at 06:30 PM #1 Started a new thread since the last one reached 100 pages. How's everyone doing? __________________ “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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Nammu Crone Member Since May 2010 Location: Some where between my inner mind and the solar system. Posts: 73,967 (SuperPoster!) 14 57.3k hugs given	Sep 30, 2019 at 06:32 PM #2 Oh yeah, I noticed when it was at 99 but missed that it went so far past that. Thanks. __________________ *Nammu* …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann
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Moose72 Silver Swan Member Since Jan 2008 Location: USA Posts: 17,178 (SuperPoster!) 16 2,716 hugs given	Sep 30, 2019 at 06:57 PM #3 That went quickly! __________________ Ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 1.5 mg, Gabapentin 300 Mania Sept/Oct 2024 Mania (July/August 2024) Mania (December 2023) Mixed episode/Hypomania (September 2023) Depression, Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts (September 2021) Depression & Psychosis (July/August 2021) Mania (April/May 2019)
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fern46 Grand Magnate Member Since Mar 2019 Location: USA Posts: 3,021 5 4,300 hugs given	Sep 30, 2019 at 07:13 PM #4 Thanks Blue Bird! I'm good. I'm relaxing and drinking my sleepy time tea. Hopefully it will help me sleep soundly tonight.
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Wild Coyote Legendary Community Liaison Member Since Jun 2016 Location: USA Posts: 12,735 (SuperPoster!) 8 70.9k hugs given	Sep 30, 2019 at 09:45 PM #12 Thanks for the new thread, BlueBird! Long and quiet day today. Just trying to put things into perspective. So much to think about. Much to consider while making serious life decisions. I hope everyone has a good night! __________________ May we each fully claim the courage to live from our hearts, to allow Love, Faith and Hope to enLighten our paths.
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Nammu Crone Member Since May 2010 Location: Some where between my inner mind and the solar system. Posts: 73,967 (SuperPoster!) 14 57.3k hugs given	Oct 01, 2019 at 07:24 AM #17 I'm off to jury duty in a half hour. I'll find out then if they have ASL interpretation. If they don't this will be a very short duty. __________________ *Nammu* …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann
	Reply With Quote

fern46 Grand Magnate Member Since Mar 2019 Location: USA Posts: 3,021 5 4,300 hugs given	Oct 01, 2019 at 09:10 AM #18 @BipolarWolf - I finally listened to Get Up by Shinedown. You nailed it! That is exactly what I was trying to say You know what you are aiming for and I hold every hope you will have it again one day.
	Reply With Quote