Bipolar check in #39

Been feeling lethargic and blah all week. Not sure what gives. Not super depressed although this might be depression related. I feel apathetic, but it's because everything tires me out. I am stressed which isn't helping, but not enough to warrant this level of feeling like crud. I also don't seem to be particularly sick, I sneezed a few times this week and that's about it. My SO has been very sweet as per usual and I am glad to have his support. In general I have been considering going back to my psychiatrist, but feel awkward as I am not sure if I want to try meds, and I don't know what I expect to come of it? I am not sure how to ask to be seen again if they will only see me if I am taking medication which I can understand. I partly want to talk about OCD treatment options, so maybe that.

Tomorrow I am playing games with friends. Something to look forward to (and I wanted to add something positive to my update). Hope everyone has a great weekend.

Yes he's the youngest. Then N2 (the girl) is 2 years older. Then N1/Molly is my eldest. (2 years older than n2). They were all due in October but N3 came at 39 weeks so his bday is in September.

I hope you have an enjoyable weekend

A week can feel like forever when you're feeling off. I'm sorry you're feeling unwell. I would maybe give it a bit more time to see how it progresses. Also, I'd try using my coping skills to test to see how serious the symptoms are. If they improve with self care and distraction you may be able to manage on your own.

Have you considered other pdocs in your area? Maybe there would be one willing to treat you even if you aren't on meds. Also, do you see a therapist?

I’m sorry your struggling I think going to see about OCD treatment would be a way to open the door to find something that might help. Do you normally struggle in the Fall so many do, I’m hoping to skip my usual Fall funk. Do you have a light box ?? It can be helpful , it’s on a wish list fir my husband and I.

Hang in there !!! I’m glad your SO is so supportive

If he won’t work why are you burning gas driving his gf and him around?

I’d be like ..... “ you have feet! Use them. “

Moose I agree with Christina, taxi service is closed until he contributes to the house hold.

He walks most everywhere he wants to go. He walks a LOT. I dont like them walking after 10 in the dark so I drive her home.

Thanks Fern! I do see a therapist who is great, it's been a bit slow in terms of progress because she's only available every 2-4 weeks and it took awhile to figure out I had OCD and needed therapy specifically for it. However I am considering therapy plus lifestyle changes to be my primary treatment. I am doing okay with coping skills and I know this feeling will pass. I have more been considering seeing my psychiatrist it in general to maybe get some more feedback on what's going on with me.

It's not that I care about a label as much as I am confused about the underlying processes. I am also a little concerned some of this could be due to past health issues I've had. I haven't yet considered other pdocs just because I trust this one and he knows me well, but wouldn't be against it.

Thank you! Yes, fall is tough for me, this could be a bit of seasonal depression. I have a light box and am using it, but maybe not enough. I do find it helps, and hope you and your husband can get one! OCD treatment might be a good way to open the door, thanks.

oh no! I suffer quite a bit after general anesthesia... for days. I hope your symptoms back off very soon.

Maybe since he’s acting like a child by not getting a job you could give him a curfew ?? Early enough that they can hoof it ??? Act like a child get treated like one ?

Just the fact that you basically had no food ! No food to eat to get through until next month should really be a HUGE incentive for him to get a job and help out wasn’t he hungry ? .... all the money on gas you have spent this month toting them around could have bought a lot of groceries.

I really hate to see you in this situation with your son

Well you seem quite on top of your situation a d your reasoning sounds solid. Hopefully they can make an exception for you. I'm not a fan of doctors who refuse to bend for the right patient.

Hmmmmm. I only slept 4 hours last night. Usually I sleep 10. And in that short 4 hours I had lots of wild dreams. No surprise to me, one long dream was about cycling in Spain. That could be because one of the last things I did yesterday was fix my front derailleur. There I was riding around in the dark, shift up, shift down, shift up, shift down. ... I'm a little bit concerned that I may be heading into the land of hypomania. It's been a while since I've been here, at least as far as I can remember.

I feel kind of wired today. Like I want to sing and dance lol. I woke up at 7:30, whereas I usually wake up at 9:30 on the weekends. I think I’m just excited for my mom’s party. I happy to see her. Haven’t seen her in about two weeks. I’m not as excited to see my brother and his wife. Especially his wife. I love my brother for sure but I still feel like his wife has turned him against my family and I don’t really want to be around her.

I really want to have a conversation with my brother without her there but I know he will tell her everything anyway. So then she will be against me too when she’s already against my mom. Then I’ll never see my brother. But I guess that’s not too much different from now, is it?

I’ve done some chores today because my MIL is coming tomorrow and I know she’s very clean so I didn’t want her to see my house a wreck lol. I swept the floor, my son mopped, I did all the dishes, I cleaned the guineA pig’s cage AND the litter box. Now I just have to vacuum in the living room. But my son is playing monopoly with his imaginary brother lol so I can’t right now.

Alright, almost time to leave for the party!

Yesterday I stayed in bed most of the day and was paranoid that I was being poisoned by my meds. I felt like my brain was falling/sliding out of my head. I was also laughing a lot for no reason and on the verge of crying at the same time. Not sure what was going on but I was scared. I'm feeling much better today though

I'm glad you're feeling better blue bird

So glad you are feeling better. You experienced several heavy symptoms all at once. That would be scary for anyone. Did anything trigger you? I hope you are able to have a more peaceful and enjoyable day today!

Thanks

I'm not sure, I can't think of anything that triggered it, I was feeling off the whole day

I'm a little tired today, but otherwise fine. Hubby and I went to the phlebotomist early (hubby had a fasting blood test) then to breakfast at a diner, Lowes, then Trader Joe's. That was it for me.

Tonight we're invited to my husband's friend's house. I'm afraid that's not exciting me. She's more his friend than mine. If anyone recalls, she's the woman that came up to me in the grocery store a couple months back and told me she had had a good therapy session about not getting upset when people cancel on her. We had cancelled on her the day before that. Me being ill was the excuse. Since then, her cat ran away, her 95 year old mother has been sick, and her long separated husband finally filed for a divorce. She was the one that left him, though. It's complicated for her. I sympathize, but it's uncomfortable. I hope the conversations are at least a little upbeat. Really, we should have invited her to our house, but I just haven't been up to it. Je suis la cuisinière de la maison. Hubby is capable of cooking, but has near nervous breakdowns when he tries.