Physical Check-In #2

It has been a while since I checked in. I haven't been around as much in general, but I have neglected taking pause to check in with myself physically lately.

As some of you know I had a recurrence of psychosis a few weeks ago. It was preceeded by a number of physical symptoms. It began with headaches. I had them every day for a week or so. It felt like pressure building up. I had the same thing happen the first time I had psychosis two years ago.

I also felt incredibly nauseous. It was like I was sea sick constantly for a week. I could barely eat and I lost several pounds.

My emotions were very strong and my mind was occupied with a project I was working on. I had trouble putting it down and relaxing. Insomnia set in and then my mind went weird. The psychosis set in. I pushed it down for a few days, but the insomnia continued and the psychosis built. The thoughts started to race. That's when I asked for help.

I wasn't a typical presentation of manic. My energy felt completely drained, but my thoughts were moving in a manic way. I just don't know guys... Any thoughts? No drugs. No alcohol. Seems to be triggered by information processing overload and strong emotions.

The only thing that remotely matches my symptoms is the psychosis that comes alongside epileptic siezures. All of what I experienced lines up with that, so I am going to get evaluated by a neurologist.

My pdoc put me back on 20mg of Geodon and it killed the psychosis. Low doses of APs working is also consistent with seizures. It may not be the answer, but the continual 'I don't know' from my doctors is frustrating. At least I know more about my pattern now and what to do about it.

As a result of all of this my exercise has been lacking. I am ready to get back in the game. I am starting my workouts again today.

Sending support to all trying to find balance by incorporating physical changes. Sending support to everyone in pain. Love to all.

Fern46, I am sorry you had such an experience last week and am glad you will see a neurologist. When I was reading your post, I initially thought of how I have read (more than once) that headaches can be a sign of mania to come.

Though most of my manias come with extreme physical hyperactivity, I have had some where the activity was primarily in my brain (racing thoughts) and not body. I think bipolar disorder can have various presentations and aren't necessarily the same each time.

I am glad the Geodon has been helpful for you. But if a neurologist does say it may have been a seizure, do you have experience with anticonvulsant moodstabilizers?

I am feeling well at the moment. Yesterday morning and afternoon I felt less well because I had accidentally forgotten my evening medications the night before until late at night. I took them late, but couldn't get to sleep until 3 am. I am not working right now, but I fear that such mishaps when I do eventually work (hopefully) aren't frequent. I would really struggle. As it is, in such cases I can't even do much housework.

Thanks. Makes sense.

As for bipolar for me, we just don't know. I'm almost 40 and I've never been depressed and the mania never presents as typical mania. The racing thoughts and psychosis are present along with insomnia, but that's typically it. It has happened twice. We are basically in wait and see mode.

I took depakote when I was in IP two years ago. It made my heart beat 160 bpm and caused extreme anxiety. I was taken of it immediately. I have the same response when I take benadryll which has been shown to cause siezures in epilepsy patients.

I took Risperdal for a while, but it caused anxiety as well so I went on Geodon. I stayed at 20mg for a while and then my doc took me off meds and I was med free for 10 months until this latest episode.

It could be nothing. I may just be bipolar, but my pdoc and therapist both agree I'm atypical. I know it is a spectrum, but I want to pursure every avenue. Thanks again for your thoughts. I appreciate the perspective.

fibro pain aside, it's actually quite concerning how I'm doing.

I am the physical age of about 90, so much is taking it's toll- from straight forward walking, to lying on a bed, getting clothes on, I've been thinking about it a lot the weekend just gone, it's not a great situation

worse than yesterday. ugg

I did my circuit training workout today. It kicked my butt and my muscles feel wonky now. I feel good about doing it. I haven't been working out for a few weeks and I realize I missed it.

I have been back on Geodon for a week and I know it will slow my metabolism. I figure this is a good time to take back control before things start to swing in the wrong direction.

So very sorry you had to deal w this fern, truly. As you know, I have a shockingly similar story and could as a child and still often can predict down-cycling by a mass tingling in my head that starts at the back and progresses to the OFC both sides. Takes about 10 mins. Then, the congenitally blind eye, left, which now has a tiny bit of vision goes pretty much blind again, it moves position within the globe, my left face droops, eyelid ptosis appears, and I am then down-cycled.

As you know, I do believe bp disorder and schizoaffective disorder are in fact seizure disorders. Fundamentally related to mass electrical activity causing an entirely difft. brain state.

I hope you continue progressing, truly.

The tingling in the head!!! I have this too. My scalp starts to tingle and the thoughts start flowing. It is like a harbinger of a shift.

Any ringing in your ears? I get it more on the right than the left, but it is a very high frequency sound.

And so if these are siezure disorders why do pdocs keep prescribing high doses of APs as the high doses have been shown to trigger seizures? Insanity. Pure insanity

And with symptoms like you have physically how can anyone just say it is a mental disorder? Or just a chemical imbalance? We have to look at the whole picture.

I'm sorry you are dealing with this as well. We deserve some help. I'm going to see what I can find and I'll definitely share my journey with the group.

Quote:

Originally Posted by fern46 ... I wasn't a typical presentation of manic. My energy felt completely drained, but my thoughts were moving in a manic way. I just don't know guys... Any thoughts? No drugs. No alcohol. Seems to be triggered by information processing overload and strong emotions. ...

I'm sorry, fern. You've been through a really rough patch.

As I've gotten older mania tends to present itself in the way you've described. Feeling drained - or experiencing short, vivid bursts of energy, then feeling drained - and racing, overlapping thoughts. Terrible anxiety, a lot of noise in my mind. Also a product of processing overload and strong emotion.

That type of mania has been happening in my 50's. Very different from the manias of younger years, which were more the standard "I have boundless energy" manias.

Thanks Beth. That's helpful information to have. There is such a wide spectrum. Mixed mania with energy loss. Good times

I'm sorry you've gone through the same. It is incredibly hard and you're hanging in like a champ.

Good description

Hugs to you

Physically...recovering from my achilles surgery on 5/28. 2 casts and 1 walking boot later, I am now on my own bare feet

I think my recovery is going well, it's just (as predicted) the type of recovery that takes time. It feels amazing to walk without pain that causes me to limp and majorly limit my walking. Achilles is pretty tight, but I expect it will loosen up as I walk more.

My goal is to walk the stairs (I live upstairs) in a week.

It’s raining 🌧 again which I know rain is good/important. I just wish it did not cause me to have flare ups. I’ve been battling a fever since early this morning. I finally ate a bowl of cereal to take some Tylenol. I don’t have much of an appetite. Soup sounds good right about now.

Super sore. Started running again in addition to biking to try to increase happy chemicals for this depression. It usually has worked. Many of my happiest memories in life were while running long distances, 20-50ish miles or so. Absolute bliss. But sore. Onward. Least I am trying.

my current fibro issues have lasted since... so far, I think friday or saturday. I like to think I am over the worst (yesterday I could barely walk)

it's the heat: my pain and the heat don't work. soon as the heat improves I would hope that my pain does as well

I've been feeling strange off and on lately. Several symptoms are on the list to discuss in my upcoming neurologist appointment.

I got a quick workout in with free weights this morning after school with the kids. Maybe I'll add a walk if my husband can watch them while I go.

At the moment I feel like laying around for a bit. I made some awesome vegetarian nachos for lunch and now I just want to hibernate.

Hugs to everyone and support to those who are in pain, struggling, or working toward a goal.

I went on the walk. It is almost 95 out and very humid. I feel like hibernating for sure now. It was only 2.5 miles, but it felt like 30. Holy hot Batman! I think I'll choose something indoors for cardio tomorrow.

I'm going to take my daily walk in a bit, before the heat hits any harder. Recovery is going well, I think. It's just the type of surgery recovery that is fairly slow. I still have to use the walking boot when I leave my apartment; shoes are just too painful against the incision.

My goal is to use the stairs to go to the mailbox, hopefully by Friday. xx

good luck!. you can do this!