[*Beth*]

Hi, There are two beautiful trees outside of my window Lately, I have been experiencing paranoid thoughts that the trees are either demons in disguise, or that demons are hiding in trees. I have paranoia about some other things (objects or trees) and it's upsetting to me. I love trees...why would I think anything negative about them?

So I'm wondering if anyone who has Bipolar Disorder and sees this post experiences paranoia when neither manic, nor depressed?

[HALLIEBETH87]

I do. I get afraid of satan. Either it’s he’s attacking me or I have to hurt myself so he won’t hurt my family and friends.

[~Christina]

So your able to fact check and realize it’s not real ?

SzA could be possible. Of course I am not a Doctor. It’s basically having hallucinations and auditory problems when not in a Bipolar mood episodes whether up or down.

Maybe read about it and see if anything could fit your current symptoms

[Blue_Bird]

I experience paranoia when neither manic or depressed but I'm dx'd schizoaffective disorder bipolar type

Sending hugs because I know how scary it can be.

Yes, I have had various types of paranoia during manias and depressions. They were often also accompanied by delusions, which frequently went hand in hand. One major example, that lasted over a year, was a fear I had that the devil lived in my husband's dark room in our basement. That was sort of odd, because deep down I don't believe in the devil, but the unhealthy mind can do crazy things. I had had hallucinations twice in my life before that where I saw the devil, when psychotic. The second time the devil was in my garage. Then I had some odd notion that he moved into the basement. That worked out better, in the end, because I really needed to go to the garage. For one full year, I would not go down into our basement. Not even to get supplies, which we kept down there. My husband always had to go. For some reason, I didn't fear that the devil would go after my husband.

My psychologist worked with me a lot on the devil/basement, suggesting exposure therapy. One time (half-way into the paranoid notion), I tried to go down and sit on my stationary bike. I started peddling, but less than one minute later, I heard a loud sound as if a whole nest full of hatched chicks were cheeping. That scared the living heck out of me. I basically fell off the bike and ran upstairs, as fast as I could, and slammed the door. As irrational as it seems, I thought that was a sign from the devil.

When I initially told my psychiatrist about the above, he was a bit obnoxious about it, asking me to describe the devil. “Did he have a tail?” and crap like that. He later stopped that.

At the same time I had the above fear, I was also afraid I would choke on meat. For weeks, I would either avoid certain meats, especially steak or pork chops, or would chew teeny pieces for a long time before swallowing.

I did get passed the above.

I have had several delusions during psychosis that I believed 100%. The odd thing about the devil in the basement, was that intellectually, I would acknowledge its absurdity, but I still had that extreme fear. That’s what I’m assuming is the case with you and those trees.

[Sometimes psychotic]

Only off meds, but technically though I’m bipolar they haven’t ruled out sza yet.

Anyway I’m wondering if you have recent med changes or if you’re on anything that activates dopamine like Wellbutrin or any adhd med.

[*Beth*]

A huge thanks to each of you! Sharing your experiences and thoughts is so helpful to me.

As for an activating medication, the change I've had recently is an increase in Pristiq (from 50mg to 75mg). Aside from the paranoia I've been feeling odd...kind-of an agitation. I suggested to Dr. W that perhaps we should drop the Pristiq back to 50mg. Dr. W nixed that idea. I'm going to bring it up again, though.

But the paranoia has been going on for many, many years. I've tried to explain it to a number of psychiatrists, but for some reason the description I gave was not quite clear, I guess. For whatever reason I had a light bulb moment this morning. I suddenly realized that paranoia is the word for the perceptual experience that bothers me so much.

I do fact check, and I do realize that these paranoid perceptions are not real...sort-of. But to say that I absolutely do not believe that I am being watched would not be true. So...basically, I believe that what I'm perceiving is real, even though I'm aware that it sounds like an unreality to others.


I, too, wonder about SzA, and have for a while.

I don't believe in demonic or satanic entities, either. But maybe I actually do, since I have this thing going on. But my mind is stuck in a weird gear. Well, I'll definitely speak with Dr. W at my appointment on Friday. Again, thank you all.

[Victoria'smom]

I'm either SzA or bp2. I get paranoid often.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

I'm either SzA or bp2. I get paranoid often.

Thank you, Mm. How are you doing?

[Nammu]

I've experienced paranoid thoughts but not outside of sleep deprivation and mood episodes

Yeah, I'll get paranoia when I am stressed or off my meds. Though, sometimes when I *am* on my meds, I will still get paranoia. But I get psychosis all the time, mostly in the form of mild hallucinations. I actually had some hallucinations last night (voices).

I am not Dx'ed with SzA and the diagnosis doesn't fit me, despite having psychosis independent of mood episodes. (I'd say I have psychosis 50% of the time when things get stressful.) I don't have catatonia or word salad or anything like that. Schizophrenia symptoms wise, I just have attention/concentration problems, flat affect, flat vocal tone, and tangential speech.

[bpcyclist]

I am just coming out of a psychotic and manic episode that started several weeks ago. I've had it for fifteen years on and off. Paranoia is a constant issue for me. Being followed. People looking for me. CIA getting ready to kick in my door and kill me or rappel in through my windows in the middle of the night. On and on.

It is misery. I know intellectually after all these years and a lot of work that this is just my psychotic stuff, but that doesn't always really help with the fear and terror and freakout. It's so difficult.

I don't know anything about Pristiq. No idea what role that could be playing here.

In any event, sending you prayers and positive, healing and calming vibes.

[Return To Sender]

Hello there friend! I saw this thread and thought I'd chime in! I experience paranoia all the time, it never goes away and no medication or therapy has been able to touch even the surface of it yet. Since you and some others shared your experiences, I'll share mine. But keep in mind that when I have fact checked, which for me is to "catch them in the act of abusing me" I have not once been correct in my perception. They have been innocent every single time. So my mind is confused. I have this deep-seated belief that the paranoia is justified(that I really am being horribly treated and abused), but I remember the fact checks and I tell myself that they really love me and show it all the time! And I love them so much too, but still I can't really believe it 100%. So here's what my mind perceives: Metaphorically speaking: My Dad is the warden, and my stepmom is the jailer. She deliberately tries to hurt me or is completely not caring if I am hurt by her actions, and my Dad does nothing, lifts not a finger to stop her, he will let me die(mentally destroyed) at his feet. That's it. And I know it's not true because when I've checked I've (thankfully) been horribly wrong, but will someone please tell my mind that!

The paranoia seems to be focused on those I love or care about or even things that I love! For example, I was sure one day that the sun was deliberately not shining on me alone, that it was personal! But more often it could be thinking that my dear sister is tricking me and trying to get me to say something or that the nice people at my pharmacy really wanted to get me out of there.

You can imagine how difficult I am to be around or live with! Yes I have an attitude a lot of the time because I am suspicious and all day long I perceive things that I wrongly think are personal affronts to hurt me or be completely uncaring that I am falling apart. I know this is not true, or do I? I'm so confused.

[*Beth*]

Another huge thanks to each of you for so kindly sharing your experiences. It's so helpful to me.