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Wisest Elder Ever
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#1
When you respond to a post on pc, do you usually put quite a bit of thought into your response, or do you respond quickly. Do you think about the OP, what you remember from their previous posts (so as to maybe be of more support or help) or do you tend to post a more generic response? And why? Do you think you have empathy for others? I try to avoid any triggers that I know that person has, both for them and also for me.... Obviously, we don't always know everyones triggers but I have a few (and meds being suggested is one of them especially when I do not mention meds in my post)
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*Beth*, bpcyclist
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*Beth*
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Grand Poohbah
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#2
Sometimes both, but I do try to generally post with thought put into it. Sometimes a "generic" comment still have love behind it. I think I have empathy for others....although sometimes I probably project my own feelings and experiences into what I say making it kinda selfish, in a way, maybe. I dunno. Give and take kindof thing. Respond to the post then get personal. Since I'm the first one to reply here, I'm not sure what I just started. Lol
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*Beth*, Anonymous46341, bpcyclist, Fuzzybear
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Fuzzybear
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Grand Magnate
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#3
I try not to over think it and generally feel my way through using empathy. Sometimes it is helpful, sometimes it is a fail. I ask people a lot of times to only accept what resonates as I hope they reject and discard anything that feels false or makes their situation worse. It is always with an intent to be of service that I reply.
I appreciate it when someone lets me know if they have a preference or sensitivity they would like me to respect. I do my best to remember these sorts of things and adjust my wording accordingly. I like the golden rule, but if I know someone is different from me I prefer the platinum rule. 'Do unto others as they would prefer done unto them'. Of course this is within reason as sometimes people ask for things here that would obviously cause damage and I won't compromise myself to add to their pain. Thank you for telling us about your trigger. I wasn't aware and will keep it in mind. This has me thinking... What would you think about a thread where people could reply with their triggers and preferences? Some here know all of this already, but we have a lot of new members and I know I could certainly benefit from an education on what is helpful and what isn't. Thanks Fuzzy. Great questions! |
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*Beth*, Anonymous46341, bpcyclist, Fuzzybear
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*Beth*, bpcyclist, Fuzzybear
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
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Posts: 96,444
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21 81.4k hugs
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#4
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bpcyclist, giddykitty
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Wisest Elder Ever
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#5
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A thread where people reply with their preferences and triggers might be a good idea (maybe you could start one?) __________________ |
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bpcyclist
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*Beth*
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#6
I try and post a thoughtful and supportive response but i have trouble remembering who is who. The most frequent posters i know and those i have PMed with i remember but not everyone. I'll remember your "meds" trigger, Fuzzy, tho i almost never advise anyone about meds. Offering relevant lived experience is helpful, i find. If i find the person is not relating like a peer it can be negative tho.
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Anonymous46341, bpcyclist, Fuzzybear
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*Beth*, Fuzzybear
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Wisest Elder Ever
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#7
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bpcyclist
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#8
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Fuzzybear
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#9
I do sometimes spend a fair bit of time on a post, especially if the issues seem especially complex.
I think a master list (voluntary, of course) of triggers and sensitive issues is a brilliant idea, Fern and Fuzzy. Let's do it! __________________ When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
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*Beth*, Fuzzybear
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*Beth*, Fuzzybear
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#10
I try to be thoughtful and empathetic. I hope I haven’t triggered anybody. It wouldn’t be intentional if I did. I do try to think about how I would feel about what I’m saying as I write it to someone else. I try to consider that most people have already thought about the most obvious solutions so I try to just say something kind and offer a different perspective if I can see one. I try to point out that my feedback is simply an opinion and that’s all. I’m not offended if people don’t like my point of view but since I enjoy looking at many points of view that’s what I try to offer others.
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*Beth*, Fuzzybear
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Fuzzybear
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Wisest Elder Ever
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#11
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Wisest Elder Ever
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#12
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#13
The problem is anyone can read any post. So, even though a comment was meant for one particular string, many people can carry it into other threads. It's literally impossible to avoid triggering everyone. Also, the boards aren't dialogues. It's not like you are having a one on one conversation with someone. It's a free for all. Everyone's talking and responding to everyone. Someone may start a string but it quickly takes on a life of its own. It's hard to post anything and trigger no one.
I guess some basic rules would be don't be graphic and don't be overtly hostile to anyone. Frustration happens, but hostility should be flagged as should graphic descriptions of triggerable events. |
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Anonymous46341, Fuzzybear
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*Beth*, giddykitty
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#14
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If you are, and if you feel up to it, I am here to give you support (as I know many others are). __________________ |
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Fuzzybear
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Fuzzybear
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Wisest Elder Ever
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#15
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I also have been angered by a few new members who I feel were trolls and stirred up chaos. Not on this part of the forum though, I haven't been a regular here anyway up until lately __________________ |
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*Beth*
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#16
Yes to all of your questions.
I hope I have never triggered you. I say that because I know that, over the years, I have angered or triggered several people. I don't mean to, but it occasionally happens. I apologize to anyone, if I have ever upset, offended, triggered, seemed to lack empathy, seemed self focused, preachy, or the like. I am far from perfect. I am somewhat familiar with many people here at PC, or at least as familiar as one can be with online acquaintances or friends. Others, I know little about. Of course I would want to avoid negatively triggering anyone, but though my memory is pretty good, it's also not perfect. If there is a thread with long lists of individuals' triggers, I might forget some. Actually, such a responsibility could be overwhelming and intimidating for me. Obviously, the usual things that trigger people are ones I try to avoid, but specific ones that most aren't triggered by, I might forget. Considering the above, I fear that such a responsibility to never say anything wrong is a scary one. That's something that triggers me. If ever I became mass shunned for not being perfect in such an endeavor, I would have to leave Psych Central. That would be sad, because I love it here! I know we are unique, with our own personalities and backgrounds. That's beautiful, but doesn't make us always fully understand or appreciate each other, in all ways. I assume someone(s) out there has/have perhaps blocked my posts because I triggered them, as I have blocked a few persons' throughout my life (not all here at PC). I, personally, think that's OK. I'm not always soft around the edges, but I am not one to hate or hold grudges either. I know the need to modifying one's approach to situations and people, but not to the point of being untrue to oneself. I'm a believer that excessive pressure to be untrue to oneself can only lead to losing oneself. Last edited by Anonymous46341; Dec 26, 2019 at 08:37 PM.. |
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Fuzzybear
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fern46, Fuzzybear, giddykitty
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Wisest Elder Ever
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#17
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Anonymous46341
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Wisest Elder Ever
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#18
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Hostility needs to be flagged I agree. __________________ |
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Wisest Elder Ever
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#19
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(I agree that blocking in some situations is ok) (Sorry for the double reply, this reply is to the part added after my first reply) __________________ |
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Anonymous46341
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Grand Magnate
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#20
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You're always incredibly kind and you navigate through difficult subjects with grace. I feel like you could ignore such a thread and thrive here regardless. |
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Anonymous46341, Fuzzybear
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