[Walkforever]

Just a some background first.

My daughter's doctor quite a long time ago diagnosed her with Bipolar, I think she may be Bipolar 1 but I'm not sure.

She has had episodes where her spending is out of control i.e. when she lived away from her hometown she bought loads of clothes and never wore them, she also bought lots of shoes. She still has a tendency to spend quite a bit of money as she has two nieces and is constantly buying them things, she wastes food as she'll like the look of something and only eat a small amount of it as she's bought too much. She also self harmed in school when she was 13, tried to take her life in 2007 (she had a lot of support at the time where she was living and I'm forever grateful for the support she received) and she can be very sarcastic but not in a good way and hasn't treated me that well in the past. What I will say though is that I no longer worry about her trying to take her life as the medication seems to keep her on an even keel. She is also what I would refer to as 'super intelligent but to a fault' as she feels she has to be the best at everything and I've often said to her that you don't have to be the best. This is one fault she recognises in herself.

She also has, at present, very bad hygiene and I'm at my wits end as to know what to do about that. For example, when she came on holiday with us in June 2018 in this country, she only used the shower twice over the whole two weeks. As those of you that live in the UK may remember that last summer's weather was very hot. We went on walks every day and sweated but she just took those clothes off and put others on the next day and put some clothes out for washing. She also, even though it was hot, wore fleeces.

Do any of you suffer like this/know of something like this and is able to advise me on how to handle my daughter's hygiene issues? I do understand that she probably can't help it but I cannot stand the smell and am embarrassed when out with her, I would see her more often if her hygiene was better.
Also, she lives in a shared house with 5 other people and there are 2 bathrooms and 2 toilets but I cannot see this is the problem as she lived in a shared house before the one she's in now and her hygiene was fine in the other house.

This is getting me down and I'm getting more and more worried on how to approach my daughter, I do not want to hurt her. My daughter is 37.

Please can someone help me as I don't know what to do, it's impacting hugely on my relationship with her.

[sarahsweets]

Hey @Walkforever:

Originally Posted by Walkforever

Myr daughter's doctor quite a long time ago diagnosed her with Bipolar, I think she may be Bipolar 1 but I'm not sure.

Did this doctor give her medication or is that only a recent thing?

She has had episodes where her spending is out of control i.e. when she lived away from her hometown she bought loads of clothes and never wore them, she also bought lots of shoes. She still has a tendency to spend quite a bit of money as she has two nieces and is constantly buying them things, she wastes food as she'll like the look of something and only eat a small amount of it as she's bought too much.

Excessive spending can be a part of bipolar mania. Was she manic when these spending sprees happened or is it an ongoing issue?

She also self harmed in school when she was 13, tried to take her life in 2007 (she had a lot of support at the time where she was living and I'm forever grateful for the support she received) and she can be very sarcastic but not in a good way and hasn't treated me that well in the past. What I will say though is that I no longer worry about her trying to take her life as the medication seems to keep her on an even keel. She is also what I would refer to as 'super intelligent but to a fault' as she feels she has to be the best at everything and I've often said to her that you don't have to be the best. This is one fault she recognises in herself.

I am not sure if perfectionism is a part of bipolar.

She also has, at present, very bad hygiene and I'm at my wits end as to know what to do about that. For example, when she came on holiday with us in June 2018 in this country, she only used the shower twice over the whole two weeks. As those of you that live in the UK may remember that last summer's weather was very hot. We went on walks every day and sweated but she just took those clothes off and put others on the next day and put some clothes out for washing. She also, even though it was hot, wore fleeces.

Does she notice or comment on her hygiene? Do you think she wears fleeces to hide any sort of self harm evidence?

Do any of you suffer like this/know of something like this and is able to advise me on how to handle my daughter's hygiene issues? I do understand that she probably can't help it but I cannot stand the smell and am embarrassed when out with her, I would see her more often if her hygiene was better.

Have you tried just coming our an telling her or asking her about it?

This is getting me down and I'm getting more and more worried on how to approach my daughter, I do not want to hurt her. My daughter is 37.

I think your concern is normal. I also think that because of her age you could ask her how she feels about it and if she notices it.

Please can someone help me as I don't know what to do, it's impacting hugely on my relationship with her.

Sometimes someone who is depressed lacks good hygiene. Do you think this is the case with her?

[*Beth*]

There is absolutely no way any of us here can diagnose your daughter. That said, to me it sounds like she has some form of possibly severe mental illness going on. The lack of hygiene and wearing heavy fabric in the summer heat are red flags.

My daughter is 34...all we can do is tell them that we're concerned about specific behaviors and ask them if they're concerned, and it sounds like you have done that. At the age of 37 there isn't anything else you can do, expect to voice your concern.

Does your daughter have a husband? Children?

[Miss Laura]

Hey I'm in the the UK, does your Daughter see a CPN, Psychologist, Psychiatrist or another member of the community mental health team?