[franco600]

I had C6/C7 discectomy and fusion three years ago and it looks like I’m headed for another level surgery (MRI next week). I’m not overreacting prematurely because the undeniable symptoms (numbness, excruciating pain) are straightforward. My surgery in 2016 was due to a very bad car accident and went really well at the time, but the thought of a second surgery is frightening.

My main concerns aren’t the obvious (major surgery risks and paralysis), because the odds of issues their are minuscule, but the effects on my psyche and marriage. My wife is very supportive, but after being impotent for two years post-prostate cancer surgery at 52, then the cervical surgery, I remember how feeble and fragile I was and how emasculated I felt. We’ve had a lot of sex life issues lately and I’m concerned at some point she’ll just give up. It’s hard to hang on to what’s good and let go of these issues.

[Skeezyks]

Best wishes for a good outcome from your surgery. I was diagnosed with prostate cancer at around the age of 50 (I'm 71 now) & ended up undergoing a radical prostatectomy. During my recovery period I developed a double hernia that had to be repaired. (I was told that's not all that unusual.) I also ruptured a disc in my low back that, since then, has impinged on my sciatic nerve. So I've had sciatica as well, although as time has passed this has become less of an issue.

As a result of my prostate surgery I've been impotent ever since & have struggled with some minor incontinence issues. So, anyway, I have some familiarity with what you're dealing with. In my case I was fortunate to be married to a woman for whom sex was never a major factor. So my loss of sexual ability was not a major concern. Hopefully you will find that your wife's commitment will remain strong as well. Best wishes...

[Rick7892]

Sometimes for me in coping with my worrying it helps me to just take one day at a time or "I''ll cross that bridge when I get to it."

For me, these sayings are helpful coping tools f that give me a breather to let my worries go along enough that I can also try other coping tools. Tools like challenging my worry thoughts--is it helpful? Is it true? Is it distorted thinking and I am catastrophizing or making negative predictions? These are CBT skills that can be used in examining each of my worrying thoughts. There are other tools/skills that can be used like DBT or Acceptance Commitment Therapy for worrying thoughts, one at a time.

Some of my thinking is helpful to me, some is not. Too often, I take all of my thinking too seriously as being automatically true, and that I need to believe it, trust it, and do as it directs.

Each of us may differ in what coping tools work for us. I hope you have some helpful coping skills or tools that you can use in your situation. Take care...