[Fuzzybear]

Do you feel paranoid sometimes, as part of bipolar?
I was told by an “Expert” that I have a “paranoid part” but I am not convinced.
I suspect that was one of many errors that person made. especially when it was added to a “diagnostic” label.

I can’t say any of the other experts have been more helpful (irl) .. I don’t give them much of a chance since there are so many who slap on labels out of nowhere. And prescribe meds that maybe are not essential...(in fact that has happened more than once, for a physical issue too, they didn’t have “time” or knowledge to give a less sub optimal service..I have found that being suspicious of them helps me.. I can accurately “diagnose” some of them... or at least as accurately as they “diagnose” me.. (in less than 10 minutes)

I will not sacrifice my usually accurate gut instinct to their lies... (irl)

My “parents” also lied in a way that was like gaslighting at times (a lot of times?)

does being a bit suspicious help you ever?

An “Expert” (irl) once said he was “concerned re the severity of my paranoia” - this was when he was spouting out all sorts of other negative stuff. It was re one comment I made. he was wrong.

I have not found an “Expert” irl who is humble or even accurate

[Blue_Bird]

I have schizoaffective bipolar type and when not doing well have very severe paranoia and sometimes paranoid delusions

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

I have schizoaffective bipolar type and when not doing well have very severe paranoia and sometimes paranoid delusions

Thanks for sharing Blue Bird

I think what the provider was discussing re me wasn’t paranoia, maybe hypervigilence and also noticing when someone is a Narcissist, or just noticing someone who is very unfriendly ....(but I didn’t know much about it then)
Or a legitimate medical concern . That is not paranoia...

[fern46]

A couple of thoughts.

Yes, I experience paranoia. It was heavy during my times of psychosis. It has come up again and again since then in flashbacks and smaller ways. I'm working on understanding the root of it because it typically has very little to do with the person or situation I'm projecting it onto in my case.

I hear you about having labels slapped on you. I had this discussion with my mother just this morning. We both experienced mania with psychosis and instantly had the bipolar label slapped on us. Neither of us have ever been depressed. We were both told this is a lifelong diagnosis and we would need meds forever by multiple experts.

My mother was highly offended by that and fought back. She refused meds, but she also fixed her life. She addressed the emotional pain and thought patterns that led to her breakdown. She lives a pretty healthy lifestyle. That approach has kept her stable for over 15 years. However, she was so offended that she cut ties with everyone who agreed she might be bipolar and need meds including me. The stigma was so disgusting to her that she couldn't handle being around people who percieved her that way.

When my time to be sick came, I wasn't offended by the label, but I didn't adopt it as my identity. I put myself in the shoes of the experts to learn why they selected the label they did. I adopted their perspective to better understand it. I researched how they arrive at their opinions and understood why they landed where they did.

Simultaneously, I held onto hope that I could fix my life and find wellness again. I am in the middle of that process. My doctors have seen the effects and took me off meds. So far, things are still improving.

I think labels and meds are what pdocs know. It is what they are taught and it is how they work. They do not have a lot of exposure to alternatives. My pdoc seemed completely tied to the status quo, but little by little he has come around. I 'intrigue him' as he puts it. He said he's never had a patient take the approach and strategy I have and he wants to see where it goes. And... Then he tells me meds are always an option if I need them. I can live with that.

I think for me the ability to work with and finally be understood by the experts came from a willingness to accept their assesment as 'true' in their eyes and follow their advice. I also consistently showed them I was following my own plan. I showed up each time and told the truth of what was going on, how I was facing it and what my strategy was for healing it. I made sure the strategy was safe, well researched and held the promise for value. I made my case and they listened. This approach is working for me. They have offered their support and disclaimers and let me know we can return to their traditional methods at any time should I need them. I am comforted and encouraged by that.

Am I bipolar? Who knows. What I can say with great certainty is that my mind shatters under certain circumstances. I am more self aware now and seek to avoid those circumstances, but I am not afraid to seek help or care about labels or judgments if they keep me safe. I know who I am. I am the judge that matters.

Your parents had their own perspective. Step I to their shoes and see how it was true for them. Look at the factors that led them to believe such things. Then drop it and decide for yourself who you really are. After that, hold both as 'true' and honor them. It is ok if your parents choose bad labels. Their labels really only tell the truth of their story. You write your own story. Be whatever adds value for you despite their truth.

Accuracy is only an aspect of perspective and it is relative. Decide which perspectives you want to adopt and why. Make sure you're being fair to yourself an adding value, but don't waste tons of energy trying to prove someone else's judgment as false. It is an endless loop of heartache. Just prove to yourself that your assesment is true.

[Fuzzybear]

Thanks for sharing fern

Originally Posted by fern46

A couple of thoughts.

Yes, I experience paranoia. It was heavy during my times of psychosis. It has come up again and again since then in flashbacks and smaller ways. I'm working on understanding the root of it because it typically has very little to do with the person or situation I'm projecting it onto in my case.

I hear you about having labels slapped on you. I had this discussion with my mother just this morning. We both experienced mania with psychosis and instantly had the bipolar label slapped on us. Neither of us have ever been depressed. We were both told this is a lifelong diagnosis and we would need meds forever by multiple experts.

My mother was highly offended by that and fought back. She refused meds, but she also fixed her life. She addressed the emotional pain and thought patterns that led to her breakdown. She lives a pretty healthy lifestyle. That approach has kept her stable for over 15 years. However, she was so offended that she cut ties with everyone who agreed she might be bipolar and need meds including me. The stigma was so disgusting to her that she couldn't handle being around people who percieved her that way.

When my time to be sick came, I wasn't offended by the label, but I didn't adopt it as my identity. I put myself in the shoes of the experts to learn why they selected the label they did. I adopted their perspective to better understand it. I researched how they arrive at their opinions and understood why they landed where they did.

Simultaneously, I held onto hope that I could fix my life and find wellness again. I am in the middle of that process. My doctors have seen the effects and took me off meds. So far, things are still improving.

I think labels and meds are what pdocs know. It is what they are taught and it is how they work. They do not have a lot of exposure to alternatives. My pdoc seemed completely tied to the status quo, but little by little he has come around. I 'intrigue him' as he puts it. He said he's never had a patient take the approach and strategy I have and he wants to see where it goes. And... Then he tells me meds are always an option if I need them. I can live with that.

I think for me the ability to work with and finally be understood by the experts came from a willingness to accept their assesment as 'true' in their eyes and follow their advice. I also consistently showed them I was following my own plan. I showed up each time and told the truth of what was going on, how I was facing it and what my strategy was for healing it. I made sure the strategy was safe, well researched and held the promise for value. I made my case and they listened. This approach is working for me. They have offered their support and disclaimers and let me know we can return to their traditional methods at any time should I need them. I am comforted and encouraged by that.

Am I bipolar? Who knows. What I can say with great certainty is that my mind shatters under certain circumstances. I am more self aware now and seek to avoid those circumstances, but I am not afraid to seek help or care about labels or judgments if they keep me safe. I know who I am. I am the judge that matters.

Your parents had their own perspective. Step I to their shoes and see how it was true for them. Look at the factors that led them to believe such things. Then drop it and decide for yourself who you really are. After that, hold both as 'true' and honor them. It is ok if your parents choose bad labels. Their labels really only tell the truth of their story. You write your own story. Be whatever adds value for you despite their truth.

Accuracy is only an aspect of perspective and it is relative. Decide which perspectives you want to adopt and why. Make sure you're being fair to yourself an adding value, but don't waste tons of energy trying to prove someone else's judgment as false. It is an endless loop of heartache. Just prove to yourself that your assesment is true.

[bpcyclist]

I struggle with paranoia virtually every day of my life. My threat-assessment system is broken. Permanently. I do the best I can, but it is difficult and painful and a ton of work for me.

[Fuzzybear]

I have just read this...
''Please do pursue a complete medical work up before accepting/adopting a psych diagnosis''

It would seem like common sense, but sometimes if some of us use our intelligence and common sense we are labelled ………….. (edited) (irl)

And if we are triggered by their intentional triggering tactics (irl) then....

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

I struggle with paranoia virtually every day of my life. My threat-assessment system is broken. Permanently. I do the best I can, but it is difficult and painful and a ton of work for me.

I definitely struggle with anxiety, I'm not sure about paranoia.

[Fuzzybear]

A friend told me today a therapist (irl) had said she was ''too psychologically aware''

[fern46]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

A friend told me today a therapist (irl) had said she was ''too psychologically aware''

Like being lost in her own mind?

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by fern46

Like being lost in her own mind?

I don't know what it meant. I wonder if it meant that the 6 sessions of therapy.....offered in this forest (under duress and usually with ill founded labels) would be judged not to ''benefit'' her for that reason

6 sessions. and ''there is ''help''..''..
I don't call that and being blamed for..... pretty much everything ''help''

I do not disclose my location since I have not found that helpful. A few know...

[fern46]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

I don't know what it meant. I wonder if it meant that the 6 sessions of therapy.....offered in this forest (under duress and usually with ill founded labels) would be judged not to ''benefit'' her for that reason

6 sessions. and ''there is ''help''..''..
I don't call that and being blamed for..... pretty much everything ''help''

I do not disclose my location since I have not found that helpful. A few know...

Yeah, therapy is tricky in any forest. It is a partnership and both parties need to be in the 'right' place for it to work. That right place seems to be different for everyone. The comment made by the therapist needs clarification for sure.

I just think of your location as your cave within your forest. That's good enough for me.

[Moose72]

My pdoc thinks that I am very aware when I'm having an episode. Yeah right. Sometimes, I have an inkling of a hint maybe that something is off, but not always. Anyway, pdoc has told others this in my presence! All proud and such! Just because I have an inkling doesn't mean that I have the wherewithal to translate that to concrete, rational thought. In fact, if I think I'm having issues, I'm probably not! There's something to be said about being too aware.