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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
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Feb 20, 2020 at 11:53 AM
#1
I have experienced a trauma bond with a parent (NPD), an ex fiancé (NPD?), a therapist..... (?) and others. I think these may have formed introjects in my head. Has anyone experienced similar to any of these (or a trauma bond or similar with anyone? (I hope this isn't in the wrong forum.. I have been chatting with someone from this forum and I have sort of cut my time right back somewhere else I used to have a cave in - and still do, however I am hibernating there. )
Has anyone read ''Folie a deux'' - by Rosie Alexander 
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catches the flowers
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Feb 20, 2020 at 11:56 AM
#2
Yes, Folie a deux or Stockholm Syndrome.
I am not angry at my mother or step-father for their abuse and I have wondered why. __________________ |
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Wisest Elder Ever
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Feb 20, 2020 at 11:58 AM
#3
Quote:
As well having read the book maybe I have also experienced this (but not sure)That is interesting that you are not angry at your mother or step-father for their abuse.... since my mother was never angry at my father for his serial affairs, superior attitude, NPD, and finally marrying another woman when I was 6. She was however angry with me and said how she was ''fed up to the back teeth with me'' Ouch. Sometimes words can really sting (it was that time when she threw me out of her house, permanently, ) Maybe I am unclear about what a trauma bond is.  No t ever mentioned it to me.
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Last edited by Fuzzybear; Feb 20, 2020 at 12:12 PM.. |
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Grand Magnate
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Feb 20, 2020 at 12:12 PM
#4
I idolized my abuser and repressed the memories of the abuse. He has been dead since I was 8. I held very fond memories of him until recently when the abuse memories surfaced. I am angry I was abused, but not at him specifically. I can see it from a multitude of angles. I can see what led to his behavior. I'm not justifying and I no longer idolize him. I needed to understand the possible reasons for 'why' though. No child sets his or her sights on growing into those types of behaviors. Something terrible happens along the way and the cycle is repeated. It ends with me though.
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Wisest Elder Ever
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Feb 20, 2020 at 12:13 PM
#5
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Feb 20, 2020 at 01:20 PM
#6
I haven't heard of it either, Fuzzy. It sounds like an interesting way of looking at things.
I like your observation about your mother's anger. Very perceptive and profound. I'm going to think it over! Big hugs to everyone who's suffered... |
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Wisest Elder Ever
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Feb 20, 2020 at 01:45 PM
#7
Quote:
Purple
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Feb 20, 2020 at 02:04 PM
#8
Hi!
 Interesting discussion!  Just dropping in momentarily. Incase someone needs clarification, I found this from PC!  Narcissists Use Trauma Bonding and Intermittent Reinforcement To Get You Addicted To Them: Why Abuse Survivors Stay Love to All! 
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Wisest Elder Ever
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Feb 20, 2020 at 02:15 PM
#9
Quote:
Wild Coyote
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Feb 20, 2020 at 03:30 PM
#10
My father was a violent man. He was very scary.
 Once in awhile, he was funny and great fun!  As a child, I was very confused because he was my dad and I loved him; yet, he was an absolute terror, too. I 'd spend time with him and I felt VERY GUILTY when I did not go with him during his visitation time. I have siblings and he had the right to see them, but he always wanted just one brother and me. Even though I could not stand all he would put us through (it was so traumatizing), I would worry about him and would be concerned as to whether or not he was okay (after my parents' divorce). This created many conflicts within myself, which, now looking back, was way too much for me to handle on my own. I have memories come back to me, even after all of these years. Not only did I have a bond with my dad, I had a very strong bond with my brother because we had survived so much together..
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Grand Magnate
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Feb 20, 2020 at 04:17 PM
#11
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Grand Magnate
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Feb 20, 2020 at 04:38 PM
#12
Although I cannot relate to everything everyone has said here, I can relate to so many of the things mentioned.
My heart really goes out to all of you! Wish I knew what else to say that would be helpful, I mean, really helpful, but sadly I am at a loss. Best to all of you who posted on this thread ! -- Yaowen |
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Account Suspended
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Feb 20, 2020 at 04:40 PM
#13
I also suffer Stockholm syndrome and it is hard, I am sending hugs to everyone on here
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