[Miss Laura]

Do any of you have issues with friendship?

My group of friends have diminished severely since 2011 when I lost my job. I would class 4 girls as my wee group, 6 girls as acquaintances and my best friend as being my Twin.

The 4 girls are really only 2 tbh and at that I would class none of them as friends. They aren't there for me.

The 2 girls I'm talking about I have a Facebook messenger group and Whatsapp group with them. They ignore me completely. They ignore my messages. I left them 2 messages on WhatsApp and despite them both being online every day on WhatsApp they have refused to read my messages. Am I truly that horrible. I feel so small as I feel I have no-one in this fooked up world than my Sister.

The irony is 1 of the 2 girls has always said I have your back no matter what and I'm here for you any time of the day. That's a lot of BS. She is never there for me.

It's bad enough they refuse to help celebrate my Birthday every year. But will go out fir a meal with me and give me a gift. I'm not wanting a gift I want to be able to say these are my friends I want to boost about them. My Twin's friends all turn up yet every fecking year I'm left embarrassed as not 1 of my friends turns up. My party/celebrations is either week of my birthday so late Jan/early Feb. So it's not like they don't know when it is. Plus they are specifically invited.

Do they even understand how hurtful that is..... no they are as always in theurbown wee bubble.

I'm sorry guys I'm just suck of constantly feeling like I am not worthy of friendships.

[Moose72]

If I had "friends" that treated me that way, they wouldn't be friends for very long. That's just ridiculous. Not worth your time. You will find other friends. Stay positive!

[Fuzzybear]

I think you need to find other friends...

[bpcyclist]

Of course, you are worthy of friendships, Miss Laura. Of course you are. But we have these illnesses thst give us symptoms sometimes that run people off. We get irritable or euphoric and high and say outlandish things sometimes. We sometimes do kooky stuff. Sometimes, we may not make a lot of sense. When we are depressed, we might sleep 20 hours a day and refuse to answer our doors or mail or phones or shower or do anything.

This irregularity, the unpredictability, of our moods and behavior does put people off, sadly. It's not your fault. We all experience this, all of us who have the disorder. People get uncomfortable, sometimes. They just may not really want to be that involved with us regularly anymore, unfortunately. It makes people uncomfortable. They don't understand it.

But that's not your fault. We all get this.

I do not have a solution to all these things, other than to try to stay as healthy as I can. I do not chase "friends" who have bailed on me. It is very painful, but much more so to constantly be blown off. I would rather have nobody than have three crappy so-called friends.

Do you have any meetup-type groups for people with bipolar or other mental illnesses in your area? It might be helpful to try one of those out and see what you think. You might look for support groups and see what you can find.

What are your hobby interests? What about groups that do your hobby or classes for it? That can be a good place to meet people.

I don't have many IRL friends anymore, nor family. But I do have PC and the people here are treasured. Keep working at it. You will find someplace to meet new people.

Hang in there!!

[Miss Laura]

I joined a local bipolar support group back in 2016 but to be honest I struggle with going. Even the girls there are a bit blah at getting back to me. It has definitely got to be me as they know me more than my friends do and even they are crap at getting back to me ie they read my message but are constantly online.

Its really upsetting for me as I take it all personally. I can't help it I wish I could but I really do feel its all my fault and I end up being hard on myself and I lash out at myself via words and actions.

I feel like it's coming into my relationship with my counsellor too. I emailed her late last week apologising as I feel I had angered her. She said I hadn't and that she looks forward to seeing me today (Thursday).

What is wrong with me I ruin everything and I just want some company.

I have acquaintances from mental health groups I go to via NHS. But I know this sounds awful but I want "ordinary" friends like I use to have. God I miss my old friends group my work colleagues my boyfriends in a sense. People who I could go out with and have a proper laugh with and a drink etc

[Moose72]

I agree with going to groups that interest you to meet some new people. I started going to Borders years ago just to read, but I met a man there named Ken. He was super nice and over the years we began going other places than the book store. Mind you, this wasn't a romantic relationship, but a very close friendship. He used to take me to the psych emergency services at the hospital when I needed it -and SIT there all night with me if needed! Through him, I also met other people at the book store and they turned into "my Borders friends". Then, he and I got invited to a Friday group lunch- friends of another Borders friend. Boom! Ten new friends. And we were all very close and ate together once a week, got to know each other. And even though a lot of those people have disbanded from the group, and Ken has died, we still go out together. So all that to say that you may meet some life-long friends if you just talk with people.