[Victoria'smom]

I don't like scaring people but I seriously concerned the dental clinic. I know my pdoc worries about me and T doesn't think I'm medicated enough. I took an ambien and it was like a smartie. I slept 3 hrs and that's it. I know it's because my affect does not match usually. How do I change this? This was a highly stressful circumstance. They even said we could do it another time. I need a ton of work done so I don't know what to do.

[Moose72]

You don't know that future visits are going to be the same as this last one.

[*Beth*]

I can feel that something serious happened, but I'm not clear on what it was, MM. What exactly scared the people at the dental clinic?

[Victoria'smom]

My anxiety went through the roof and I started crying but when I'm nervous I smile. So here I sit tears streaming down, scoring high on there depression scale, smiling and reassuring them I'm okay it's just anxiety as I'm cracking jokes but I hadn't slept or changed yet because I was out all day/night. So I probably looked out of a horror scene. And this happens to me a lot.

[Fuzzybear]

[*Beth*]

I understand the duality of emotion...like smiling when you're coming unglued with anxiety. I believe that women tend to have that kind of thing happen more than men do, because we don't want to "upset" other people.

As for the dentist anxiety...oh my gosh, they are so used to that. My husband is so terribly anxious about being at the dentist, he passed out cold once! Fortunately, I was there because it definitely scared the dentist But I know how anxious he can get.

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

I don't like scaring people but I seriously concerned the dental clinic. I know my pdoc worries about me and T doesn't think I'm medicated enough. I took an ambien and it was like a smartie. I slept 3 hrs and that's it. I know it's because my affect does not match usually. How do I change this? This was a highly stressful circumstance. They even said we could do it another time. I need a ton of work done so I don't know what to do.

I'm sorry you had such a stressful day, Miguel'smom! You are not the only person who has had such a day with a doctor other than a mental health related doctor or therapist. I've had similar. I'm particularly thinking of a neurologist appointment I had several years back. That's not even mentioning the many situations I had at pharmacies.

There are times when I have had to reschedule appointments. I rescheduled my gynecologist appointment that was supposed to happen today. I didn't go to my French class last night. All because of my mood. But that doesn't mean I will never go. My mood will level sufficiently to go, hopefully next week (in the case of the French class). So will yours.

Obviously an effective medication cocktail can improve how we act or come across in public. However, I truly believe that coping tools and skills made the biggest difference for me. Well, I needed all improved.

A couple days ago, Fuzzybear posted a thread about grounding techniques. A lot of people provided some good tools there. I mentioned the benefit of pre-planning the experience (visualization of the experience). That's a tool that quickly comes to my mind when it comes to going to stressful places. That was especially helpful when I was getting through a period of mild agoraphobia. Fuzzybear's thread I mention is at Grrrr grounding?

[~Christina]

I have been traumatized by dentist since age 9 , I had braces twice. Horrible back then

Anyway had wisdom teeth removed 4 days after I had my daughter they were infected and impacted ,novacaine did virtually nothing. I was in agony for weeks with a newborn as he had to cut out all 4 same day.

So we heard of a great dentist here, I was terrified and crying yet trying to make a joke about being so terrified.

He promised me all I would feel was pressure , no pain..I’m laid back in the chair he’s using novacaine with that super tiny needle that you don’t even feel it, he also used the gas, as I lay there waiting for it all to kick in , tears are just falling like a river , he kept reassuring me and wiped my tears away. He said ok here we go , I heard a kind of crack , he said ok here’s the pressure, heard like a pop sound and boom it was done ... he took 15 mins making sure I was numb and the tooth was out in at most 25 seconds.

Dentists and staff are very use to people crying and losing there shyt. I’m sure nothing you said or did was anything new to them.

You did just fine

[Victoria'smom]

She asked me if I wanted a different day. You could tell by her face I freaked her out. She was asking if I liked my psychiatrists and therapist, Told me she could give me a referral to one.and everything like that. so I spooked her. But we both made it through and I don't have to worry about it again until June.

[Moose72]

When I had my wisdom teeth out, I had the "forget it" juice in an IV. Twilight sleep, I think they call it. I recalled nothing of the actual teeth removal, but I do have a memory of waking up and the striped wall paper flashing at me- no memory of going to the recovery room, though. I wonder why they don't do the twilight sleep these days. This was 1992 that I had my teeth out. I had three teeth and two were impacted. My mom was with me in the recovery room and kept trying to wake me up from the drugs. Anyway, this is my experience with getting teeth removed. I haven't had to have any others removed, thank goodness!


I have cried and smiled at the same time. Feels funny having both those emotions at the same time. I agree with @~Christina - Dentists are used to people getting unnerved in their office. The shots SHOULD be the worst part of getting your teeth extracted. They are pretty good where I go even numbing you up for just fillings. They wait a long time and then come back eventually.

N2 is lucky- she HAS no wisdom teeth at all! They never developed. Unfortunately, N1's have come in and its going to be more complicated to get her's out, whenever that may be. N3 doesn't have any growing in, so he says- doesn't think any dentist has checked, but that's got to be something they'll want to do soon.

[yellow_fleurs]

I am sorry you had a rough day at the dentist. In terms of your affect matching, I think it's something you can learn to be mindful of. Like if you are feeling really sad and crying, maybe take a moment to recognize what you're feeling and just admit to the person with you that you are sad/scared/etc and that you're okay, and it's just an emotional reaction. You can catch yourself if you're laughing it off or trying to fake your way through it and kind of mindfully stop doing that, I think. Might not be easy, it's just what has worked for me if I do that.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by yellow_fleurs

...just admit to the person with you that you are sad/scared/etc and that you're okay, and it's just an emotional reaction. ...

Admitting to someone that we're afraid or anxious is so beneficial! When I've done that it feels like a burden is off my shoulders and the situation is suddenly in perspective.