[CranberryBubbles]

Hi All, Many years ago I was diagnosed Bipolar then a few years later was re-diagnosed with ADD and Bipolar tendencies. Bipolar and ADD run heavy in both sides of my family so it's no surprise. I generally do quite well but a little over a month ago I felt a shift. I felt manic for about a week and then a major dip. I've been struggling to regain my footing from this and it's proven difficult. It's hard to think, I have no motivation and my usually highly analytical brain has no logic power right now. Have any of you experienced this with bipolar or bipolar Tendencies? What are some good, practical ways to keep on track when your brain and emotions aren't working with you at the moment? I know it's temporary and am looking for ways to maintain consistency so my life is still level when the dust settles. Any thoughts and feedback are greatly appreciated!

Hi CranberryBubbles. Welcome to PC's bipolar forum!

I'll admit that I'm not so sure what the whole "tendencies" type diagnosis is all about, though I have heard it used with other mental illnesses, as well. Does "tendencies" mean "Maybe you have bipolar disorder or maybe not"? Or is it that you may have mood issues on the bipolar spectrum, but the doctor is just not quite sure (at this time) what type of bipolar disorder fits best for you? I don't know. In any case, based on your description, it sounds like you had some sort of mood upswing, and then it switched to a sort of downswing. "Upswing" and "downswing" could simply be different words for hypomania (or mania) and depression. There are varying levels of severity of all three mood states. There is even a mood state that can include symptoms of both hypomania (or mania) and depression.

Low motivation and foggy brain/thinking (cognitive deficits) are common symptoms in depression. When depression (or any mood downswing) eases, motivation and thinking usually improves. Of course some doctors choose to utilize medications to help end patients' depression. Some might suggest that and therapy, or just therapeutic tools alone. There are a lot of coping tools/skills that can help. You would need to figure out what helps best for you. Sometimes that even changes from time to time. You can google "coping tools for depression" and find sites with useful info like 10 Ways to Cope With Depression - Major Depression Resource Center - Everyday Health

It can take time for the brain to get back to usual working order. One crucial thing to remember is that it's OK not be working at usual speed/efficiency. Being kind to oneself is helpful in recovery. I try to concentrate on what I CAN do at the time, and derive some level of pleasure/benefit from that.

[Wild Coyote]

Hi CranberryBubbles,

Welcome to the Bipolar Forum!

I hope you will find the information and the support you may be seeking.

I am sorry you are having a very challenging time.

Like BirdDancer, I find your diagnostic "label" interesting.

If you do experience mood swings, and it sounds like you do, have you tried a mood stabilizer?
If you use meds for ADD, have mood swings and no mood stabilizer, then things might be much rockier than they need to be. Possibly.

My biggest suggestion, and a rule I honor for my own welfare is, never make any big decisions during this time.
I also keep a routine, which helps me to keep life less erratic.

I like your screen name; it offers an interesting visual!
I hope to see you around the forums!!!

[sarahsweets]

Welcome @CranberryBubbles: I get so annoyed with any sort of "tendencies" diagnosis. I know that its a thing because I have seen it before but I dont understand the clinical implications. Maybe someone can educate me on what 'tendencies' is and how it goes together in a diagnosis.
As far as pulling yourself out of the depression hole, are you on any medications?

[bpcyclist]

I don't know what bipolar tendencies really means, but your story sounds similar to what a lot of us go through. The change in brain speed/analytical power/motivation--I think most of us deal with that from time to time. It is just part of the illness, in my opinion. Calling bipolar a mood disorder is completely inaccurate, in my opinion. It comprises far, far more than that--such as, for example, aberrant data processing functions.

Anyhow, I hope you feel better soon. If you do, in fact, have bipolar 1, you are probably going to need to treat it at some point, or this is likely to recur.

[~Christina]

Bipolar Tendencies ? I have never heard that either...

Most pdocs if they are not sure if a person is a 1 or 2 they use Bipolar NOS ... But the " label " doesnt matter as long as you and your provider is working to help you deal with whatever difficulties in daily life you are having..

Welcome to PC

[CranberryBubbles]

Thank you all so much for your thoughts and input. To clarify, by tendencies, my psychiatrist screened me for Bipolar and I rated just high enough to keep an eye on things but not high enough for a full blown diagnosis of Bipolar at the time. I am currently on 100mg Sertraline and have been for over 20 years. That works the best for me as I have tried other antidepressants and they did not provide any relief from the associated mental / emotional symptoms which, by nature, just show up with ADD, Depression, etc... such as anxiety, mild OCD characteristics, easily irritated / angered and the feeling of not being able to quite manage or rationalize what’s going on around or within me. Thank you for al the advice. Not making major decisions when super high or low is a good one I need to remember.

Do you all ever experience where you can see what’s going on clearly with others but have difficulty picturing what your actions look like to others? I am very loving and kind but find it nearly impossible to view how I portray myself to others. Just curious if this is normal

Originally Posted by CranberryBubbles

Thank you all so much for your thoughts and input. To clarify, by tendencies, my psychiatrist screened me for Bipolar and I rated just high enough to keep an eye on things but not high enough for a full blown diagnosis of Bipolar at the time. I am currently on 100mg Sertraline and have been for over 20 years. That works the best for me as I have tried other antidepressants and they did not provide any relief from the associated mental / emotional symptoms which, by nature, just show up with ADD, Depression, etc... such as anxiety, mild OCD characteristics, easily irritated / angered and the feeling of not being able to quite manage or rationalize what’s going on around or within me. Thank you for al the advice. Not making major decisions when super high or low is a good one I need to remember.

Do you all ever experience where you can see what’s going on clearly with others but have difficulty picturing what your actions look like to others? I am very loving and kind but find it nearly impossible to view how I portray myself to others. Just curious if this is normal

Thanks for clarifying this CranberryBubbles!

If you are only on an antidepressant and not a moodstabilizer of any sort (which sometimes includes an antipsychotic), it does seem like your doctor is just trying to treat your other mental health issues, but keeping an eye to see if the antidepressant ever triggers a hypomanic or manic episode or if you have one for any other reason. It does seem good that at least your doctor has that in mind, though I can understand in this case why he/she doesn't give you an official bipolar diagnosis.

In response to your questions in your last paragraph, I believe many people, even with no mental health issues, have trouble "reading" other people's reactions to their behavior. I suppose this makes it somewhat normal, though perhaps some are more concerned (or even paranoid) for various reasons, such as self-esteem or level of feeling grounded, etc. I will say that when in bipolar episodes, I can lack insight into my behavior quite a bit. Even my depression may be more noticeable to others than I may think it is. Many people who experience elation may believe they are charming others, when in fact they seem "over the top", grandiose, ridiculous, or even highly obnoxious. One way to check that is to ask someone you trust how they perceive you at times, and for them to give an example (or two) of the behavior. It's good to know this. And if you receive critical feedback, I'd take it as a favor. Even the mere asking for such feedback is a very positive step. But maybe what you'll hear is that you are always loving and kind. I'd suggest that any feedback be shared with your doctor and any therapist, if you have a therapist.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by CranberryBubbles

Thank you all so much for your thoughts and input. To clarify, by tendencies, my psychiatrist screened me for Bipolar and I rated just high enough to keep an eye on things but not high enough for a full blown diagnosis of Bipolar at the time. I am currently on 100mg Sertraline and have been for over 20 years. That works the best for me as I have tried other antidepressants and they did not provide any relief from the associated mental / emotional symptoms which, by nature, just show up with ADD, Depression, etc... such as anxiety, mild OCD characteristics, easily irritated / angered and the feeling of not being able to quite manage or rationalize what’s going on around or within me. Thank you for al the advice. Not making major decisions when super high or low is a good one I need to remember.

Do you all ever experience where you can see what’s going on clearly with others but have difficulty picturing what your actions look like to others? I am very loving and kind but find it nearly impossible to view how I portray myself to others. Just curious if this is normal

I, too, appreciate the time/energy you've invested in helping us to better understand your experiences/symptoms.

I was diagnosed with Major Depression with an Anxiety Disorder, etc.
I'd tried all antidepressants at least twice -- long trials. Not much in that class was helpful to me. My symptoms were very similar to yours, including the irritability. I had a terrible time most days. I was evaluated by a new pdoc, was diagnosed more accurately as BPII. I was put on a mood stabilizer (lamictal/lamotrigine) and am doing so much better than I was doing without a mood stabilizer.

You mention "...super high or low..." (your 2nd to last paragraph from your above post). These types of changes are atypical for a "uinipolar" depression.

I know we are all different. I wanted to share my experience with you.

We often get some information on how we come across to others by interacting with others as frequently as is reasonable. It's really impossible to know this if we don't get enough feedback from those in our environments

I hope to see you around!

[Fuzzybear]

Thanks for sharing