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#1
Jun 06, 2020, 07:11 AM
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I have developed "close" relationships and been stabbed in the back repeatedly. Those "backstabbings" have triggered many of my depressions. I also got triggered when someone close to me had died, and I think it was because we had formed a deep bond with one another.
Just wondering if anyone else feels this way. |
 *Beth*, Anonymous46341, bpcyclist, Breaking Dawn, Fuzzybear, swimmingly, unaluna, wiretwister
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 *Beth*, bpcyclist, Fuzzybear, unaluna
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#2
Jun 06, 2020, 08:30 AM
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Yes. No attachments=no feelings of abandonment=not being triggered.
Although I have gotten in touch with an old friend recently and we hung out, but when he left, no understatement, I wanted to kill myself because I had gotten close to him and I was/am afraid he'll never come back. Things like that make me wish I had a real therapist who worked with me on more stuff instead of spending 20 minutes asking the same questions and then ending the session early. |
| *Beth*, Anonymous46341, bpcyclist, Breaking Dawn, Fuzzybear, swimmingly
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| *Beth*, bpcyclist, Fuzzybear
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#3
Jun 06, 2020, 08:43 AM
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I have extremely low expectations of others and trust basically noone ever.
__________________
When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
| Anonymous46341, Breaking Dawn, Fuzzybear, swimmingly
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| Fuzzybear
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#4
Jun 06, 2020, 12:01 PM
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Thats an interesting question. I never looked at it as being "triggered", but i think you are right, thats what it is. Being overwhelmed, unable to deal with the emotions, fight, flight, fawn, or freeze - any of those will pretty much kill a relationship, won't it? But im always, this is b.s., this person isnt worth it - what is "it", anyway? Emotional dysregulation. To get on an even keel again, i cut people out of my life.
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| Anonymous46341, bpcyclist, Breaking Dawn, Fuzzybear, swimmingly
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| *Beth*, Fuzzybear
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#5
Jun 06, 2020, 01:28 PM
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people usually avoid being friwends with me
because of my illness. they don't want to get hurt |
| *Beth*, Anonymous46341, bpcyclist, Breaking Dawn, Fuzzybear, swimmingly
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| bpcyclist
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#6
Jun 06, 2020, 01:29 PM
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it's ashame, I'd generally like a close friendship
but it's true. I always end up hurting people |
| *Beth*, Anonymous46341, Breaking Dawn, Fuzzybear, swimmingly
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#7
Jun 06, 2020, 03:29 PM
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I avoid close friendships and relationships because I found them to be one sided. How?
Individuals would want to bounce ideas and their problems and work drama/relationship drama off me. However when I wanted to talk about anything they would want to change the subject back to THEM!!! 😂😂😂💀🙄
__________________
#SpoonieStrong Spoons are a visual representation used as a unit of measure to quantify how much energy individuals with disabilities and chronic illnesses have throughout a given day. 1). Depression 2). PTSD 3). Anxiety 4). Hashimoto 5). Fibromyalgia 6). Asthma 7). Atopic dermatitis 8). Chronic Idiopathic Urticaria 9). Hereditary Angioedema (HAE-normal C-1) 10). Gluten sensitivity 11). EpiPen carrier 12). Food allergies, medication allergies and food intolerances. . 13). Alopecia Areata |
| *Beth*, bpcyclist, Breaking Dawn, Fuzzybear
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| *Beth*, bpcyclist
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#8
Jun 06, 2020, 05:49 PM
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Yes. I definitely, consciously avoid close friendships for fear of being triggered, then being entirely isolated while I fall to pieces. I have been married for 30+ years and I have a number of life-long friends, but I avoid being genuinely close because I so fear being misunderstood. I'm self protective.
__________________
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| Anonymous46341, bpcyclist, Breaking Dawn, Fuzzybear, swimmingly
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| bpcyclist
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#9
Jun 06, 2020, 07:13 PM
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I really don't have friends. My close relationships are only my immediately and a few other family members who I try really hard to keep in the loop but don't do well with that. I was thinking about friends in preparing to answer this question, and I realize that I don't know the last time that I've had a friend. I really don't. It's been probably over 20 years. That's should be embarrassing right? I guess I'm not really embarrassed though. It feels a bit lonesome, though. I think it is a defense mechanism though.
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| *Beth*, bpcyclist, Breaking Dawn, Fuzzybear
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| bpcyclist
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#10
Jun 06, 2020, 09:27 PM
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my wife and two sons are it . . . by my choice , it has been that way since the early 80's .
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| bpcyclist, Breaking Dawn, Fuzzybear
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| bpcyclist
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#11
Jun 06, 2020, 09:50 PM
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Quote:
That is my experience, too. Part of the reason, though, is because I don't talk much about myself due to shame and because I deeply fear being completely misunderstood. After all, not many people are well-educated about mental illness. I have found that I am comfortable with others who have mental illness. It's the neurotypicals with whom I feel miserably uncomfortable.
__________________
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| bpcyclist, Breaking Dawn, Fuzzybear, swimmingly
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| bpcyclist
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#12
Jun 07, 2020, 08:36 AM
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I generally don't avoid relationships. I'm just careful who I let in which takes time. Why? A lot of people have been critical of me due to my differences. For some reason this is a threat to them. I'm often judged by strangers who know absolutely nothing about me. To protect myself I approach relationships with caution. Once I see that the person is open minded and honest, I will let them in my life.
Quote:
I totally get this. Neurotypicals have generally been the most judgemental people I have ever met, especially women. What is with their drama?
__________________
Dx: Didgee Disorder |
| *Beth*, bpcyclist, Breaking Dawn, Fuzzybear
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| bpcyclist
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#13
Jun 07, 2020, 09:47 AM
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Quote:
__________________
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| bpcyclist, Breaking Dawn
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| *Beth*, bpcyclist
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#14
Jun 07, 2020, 09:49 AM
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Quote:
 That did NOT help my trust issues ....
__________________
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| *Beth*, bpcyclist, Breaking Dawn
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| bpcyclist, The_little_didgee
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#15
Jun 07, 2020, 02:57 PM
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Quote:
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| bpcyclist, Fuzzybear, swimmingly
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| *Beth*, bpcyclist, Fuzzybear, swimmingly
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#16
Jun 07, 2020, 04:46 PM
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Quote:
__________________
When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
| Fuzzybear
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| *Beth*, Fuzzybear
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#17
Jun 07, 2020, 04:50 PM
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Quote:
 
__________________
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| *Beth*
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#18
Jun 07, 2020, 11:19 PM
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Quote:
Where I live there is a restaurant called the "Black Bear Diner." There are cute bears carved from wood outside and the restaurant is kind of like a bear cave. I wish you could see it
__________________
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| Fuzzybear
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| Fuzzybear
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#19
Jun 08, 2020, 10:47 AM
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Quote:
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| Fuzzybear
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| Fuzzybear
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#20
Jun 09, 2020, 01:50 AM
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Quote:
Thanks for sharing this  It sounds like the sort of restaurant I would love I appreciate your post, and I appreciate you
__________________
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