[Yenfen]

Hello everybody! I’ve made a couple posts before, and if you recognize me, hey! I have not been officially diagnosed as Bipolar and I am actually setting up an appointment with my GP just so I could bring it up and see what options I have to get psychiatrically evaluated, and am possibly looking at healthcare out of the province(I live in Canada) for a second opinion on my mental health. Now with that out of the way I want a bit of advice from people with BD or professionals to tell me if I may be experiencing hypomania or not, though of course I’m not looking for a diagnosis or an absolute, “Yes you 100% have it” because that’d be a little unreliable considering this is one post, right? All I’m looking for is opinions, because although I’ve been documenting my experiences, I still wanna see if this is worth pursuing or not or if I am overthinking things. With that out of the way, on to the story!

For close to two weeks I’ve been incredibly down. Not just the, “Oh I’m having a bad day”, but it had gotten so bad that I eventually was mostly bedridden and couldn’t find the motivation to do simple tasks, like call a friend or get up to eat. It downspiraled after one of my therapy meetings, and after that small set off, it was like everything just switched. I was stable for a good 3-4 weeks, and after enduring everyday of going through a deep depression, I eventually couldn’t take it anymore. Yesterday night I had come across a thread on what may induce mania and what some people’s triggers are, and though it was deeply stupid, I was sick of wondering if I was faking it or not. I fasted for 24 hours and didn’t get a wink of sleep, and though I woke up at around 8am on a Saturday, I was up until 9am Sunday morning. I had a quick one hour nap, but after that? I’ve felt wired. It’s absurd seeing how quick I shifted, because though I’ve had moments of hyperactivity before(which I am unsure is hypomania due to not being diagnosed, nor told by a medical professional) it has never been this intense as it was today.

I woke up feeling great. Well rested, productive.. It was a nice welcome to the incredible drop I went through. I was up in an instant, and now at 4:36pm, I just can’t stop? I just feel so productive that it makes me fidget if I stay still for too long. I’ve done two loads of laundry, cleaned my room from top to bottom, cleaned my parents bedroom, entered my old workplace and started working there(even though I do not work there anymore) and got behind the counter for hours straight to help out, and I just can’t really focus on anything. I even took a jog around the neighbourhood a couple times, and I just don’t understand why I feel so good? Or hell I bet I do know; wouldn’t really be on this forum if I didn’t at least have a hunch that I was BD haha. Not self diagnosing or anything, but everything I’ve experienced is clicking with the definitions. Everything just makes so much sense now. My family history of having BD, my friends telling me sometimes I dont, “Act like myself”, surviving off of 5 hours a week and feeling just dandy until an abrupt crash hits.. Now I just feel fuelled. I tried calling up the hospital to get an appointment with my GP asap, though it was closed, and I was redirected to a Mental Health and Addictions hotline. Tried talking to her and the girl could hardly understand what I was saying; she had told me to repeat myself 2-4 times I don’t know I wasn’t really paying attention. I’m so much more social and everyone I’ve talked to finds me lovely; I don’t think I’ve ever been so likable before. I have spurts of intense adrenaline here and there, but overall? All I can say is that I just feel so upped, and though I’m expecting a crash to happen(it’s happened before) Why not enjoy it right? Does his sound like hypomania or just a good day? Not asking for a diagnosis yet again - I’ll leave that to the mental health professionals - but someone to say if I should be concerned.

Hello Yenfen. Of course I remember you. I'm glad you feel comfortable reading and writing here at PC's bipolar forum.

I think it is a very good idea that you discuss these issues with your GP, and perhaps even get a referral to a psychiatrist for a proper psychiatric evaluation. Certainly having records like what you wrote above (and any mood charts) would be helpful. Your sleep habits are also an important part of this, as are facts like if you take an antidepressant, are experiencing various stressors in life, etc.

I cannot tell you whether I think you have hypomania or not. I just can't. It seems to me that there could be other issues I'm not aware of, plus I am not qualified to say, anyway. What further disqualifies me is that I cannot, personally, relate to the insight you have at this early point in your life. Granted, I am surely older than you, and bipolar disorder was not so widely known in my youth, as it is today.

It is very important that people not receive the bipolar diagnosis, if it's not appropriate. You want your doctors to be certain. You should be certain. Bipolar disorder medications can have significant side effects that many dislike, immensely. Bipolar disorder also brings with it an unfair stigma. However, it is important that people with this disorder know and accept it. That helps provide treatment that can spare the inflicted trouble and pain down the road.

[Fuzzybear]

I'm glad you feel comfortable posting here