[MuddyBoots]

Do you "black out" every so often? Like anywhere from hours to a week or so where you just "lost time" but you're still up and doing stuff, maybe you "come to yourself" and find new bruises or "wake up" in restraints in the hospital? Perhaps your friends question texts you never remember sending and changes in your tone, etc? Ever happen even when you're fairly certain you've been clean and sober?

Please tell me I'm not losing it completely.

I think blacking out is common after a traumatic event or before fainting. When your brain looses oxygen, basic function including cognitive thought, sensation and memory, lapse - creating the blackout effect.

[*Beth*]

Frequently. I have never abused substances, btw. The black-outs I have happen too frequently. It creeps me out. I attribute them to dissociation (I have a chronic case of derealization), but even more to med side-effects - or just long-term med use, in general. I hope the black outs are not an indication of an early onset dementia. If so, not much to be done.

So that's all I can tell you, is my own experience. I hate black outs, they're unnerving.

[Soupe du jour]

Not for a long time, but I did have experiences with bipolar blackouts (mostly during severe manias) in the past. For example, I had 10 psychiatric hospitalizations, but only really remember 5 of them, or maybe 6 (bits). When I say that, I don't mean remembering mundane stuff. Few people remember mundane days, but to totally feel some hospitalizations didn't happen is eerie. The ones I remember only bits from are sort of like fragmentary alcohol blackouts, which I've also had. Maybe I remember moments, but then absolute nothingness around it. Almost as if I was knocked out with anesthesia. Disconcerting, really! Plus, some of the "fragmentary" memories are ones that hint at some slight traumatic moments. For example:

During one hospitalization, I remember nothing until "coming to" to see my husband standing in front of me in the psych hospital lounge. I recall hearing the nurse beg my husband to get me to go to bed and to take off a down coat that I must have insisted on wearing. It's my guess that they had given me some sort of highly sedating injection because of violent and/or ranting outbursts (I had many). My husband later told me that the nurse said I went ballistic when told I had to sleep on a cot in a room with two other women. I then recall waking up early the next day and being transferred to a private room, which were rare. Then I sort of "came to" again to find that a security guard was sitting on a chair outside of my private psych hospital room. I recall leaving the room and the guard following me around the ward. After that, I don't recall much else.

Over a maybe two or three year period, I think I was also experiencing some depersonalization and derealization issues. Within them I had very brief dissociative amnesias, but usually just minutes of time. Again, it was very disconcerting! I also experienced what I believe were dissociative hallucinations during that period. Very strange stuff! Was it actually bipolar psychosis? I just don't know. The line between the two is fuzzy sometimes. I remember calling someone multiple times begging them (in hysteria) to confirm what I thought I saw, but they always said it never happened. Also, did I do or say that in reality? No? OMG! Disturbing.

There were periods during the worst of my psychotic manias that I've asked my husband about a few times. He's absolutely refused to talk about them. Refused. Was that for the best? What on earth happened?!?! How much did it disturb or hurt him?

[bpcyclist]

I have giant periods of total vacuum out there. Just lost. No idea what I was doing or where I was. This is a totally awesome thread!!!!! Nobody ever talks about time disruption in bipolar disorder, but I will tell you I just watched a brand nee tv show. Brand new. Guess what? I had already seen it. But it has never, ever, EVER been broadcast before. Our brauns are so weird, you guys. We are weird

[*Beth*]

Absolutely the truth about mania blackouts - they are very common with BD.

[bpcyclist]

Not in the DSM!!!! Like 10 katrillion other things we deal with every single day.

[fern46]

I blacked out while psychotic. I was conscious the entire time, but I have a lot of spotty memory over a period of about 4 hours. I seem to have repressed the worst of it.

[Coolbreeze74]

When I was completely psychotic I blacked out. I just remember waking up in the hospital after I finally got some sleep and crying. I had been there for 3 days and dont remember it at all. They were giving me hardcore sedatives bc I hadn't slept at all in 5 days. I had a complete psychotic break. That was in 2011. It was very scary.

[The Black Dog]

I have them too. Often minutes but sometimes hours. Its like i must of been frozen or something because when I come to it feels like no time has passed at all. And it does tend to happen in manic episodes.

[MuddyBoots]

Wow, thanks for the responses guys, glad I'm not the only one (though I'm sorry you guys have to experience this too).
I wonder what other kinds of things are common for us to experience that aren't listed or known as "symptoms."

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Sapien

Wow, thanks for the responses guys, glad I'm not the only one (though I'm sorry you guys have to experience this too).
I wonder what other kinds of things are common for us to experience that aren't listed or known as "symptoms."

A lot. That's why I don't like the straight DSM-V definition of BD. Also, online tests are deceptive. BD is far more than a simple statement.

[bpcyclist]

The only way to really know what it is lime to have a bipolar slash schizophrenia spectrum disorder would be to sit here and read this board for a year religiously. I woke up a few days ago in a panic because my brain waz telling me I was not a human in an actual life, but a character in a giant video game that people were watching and laughing at me. My schizophrenia pals told me it was okay, just my illness. Helped a ton. Was so scared I was a video game character. Stuff like this happens all the time to us. It is not in the DSM-6547. Nobody really knows the gritty details but us. This awesome talk about time disruption on that other thread. Lotta folks have that. Nobody ever talks about it. On and on.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

The only way to really know what it is lime to have a bipolar slash schizophrenia spectrum disorder would be to sit here and read this board for a year religiously. ...

Good God, man - that is the truth!!

[Soupe du jour]

Originally Posted by Sapien

Wow, thanks for the responses guys, glad I'm not the only one (though I'm sorry you guys have to experience this too).
I wonder what other kinds of things are common for us to experience that aren't listed or known as "symptoms."

I think that people with bipolar disorder don't all experience the same symptoms. Obviously, there are ones that most do have that are pretty standard, and I'm sure most psychiatrists do want minimum criteria met for diagnosis. However, as for "other" stuff, I believe it depends on the patient's particular "flavor", as my psychiatrist puts it. I am a believer in the bipolar spectrum idea. I also see so many co-occurring disorders in some, but not all diagnosed with bipolar. For example, I can't count how many people have had issues with self-harm, or eating disorders. Why are some with bipolar disorder more prone to addiction or self-medication with substances?

The worst years of my bipolar disorder brought on some mighty strange stuff, as did the years soon after the worst eased. Seizure-like stuff? Migraines for the first time? I'm far from the only person with bipolar disorder that's experienced some of this, as well. And yet many don't. And how many people with bipolar disorder have I met that had fibromyalgia? I don't have it, but it's co-occurrence is oddly frequent.

At one point in my illness, I was sent to a neurologist because psychiatrists suspected seizure activity. And of course seizure activity, itself, varies widely. It's not all convulsions. In fact, many with epilepsy (or pseudo seizures) never even have convulsions. Some stuff is strangely like hallucinations. Is that really seizure activity? Or is that a unique symptom of bipolar disorder? Some doctors have even said that bipolar episodes are types of seizures. It sure is interesting that there are so many links between bipolar disorder and the other conditions I mentioned above.

Depression is obviously listed as a symptom of bipolar disorder, but so many sufferers also have issues with anxiety or panic. I know that anxiety often accompanies depression, and yet it's not a symptom in the depression part of the bipolar DSM listing. It is a "feature", as the DSM-5 calls it. There are other features, as well, many of which not all sufferers experience. Ever had catatonia?

A lot of people justifiably complain about bipolar medication side effects, but really the disorder, itself, can bring on many physical illnesses/symptoms. Mania can definitely bring on tachycardia, maybe high blood pressure, and similar.

There are so many examples, many of which I don't know about.

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

I think that people with bipolar disorder don't all experience the same symptoms. Obviously, there are ones that most do have that are pretty standard, and I'm sure most psychiatrists do want minimum criteria met for diagnosis. However, as for "other" stuff, I believe it depends on the patient's particular "flavor", as my psychiatrist puts it. I am a believer in the bipolar spectrum idea. I also see so many co-occurring disorders in some, but not all diagnosed with bipolar. For example, I can't count how many people have had issues with self-harm, or eating disorders. Why are some with bipolar disorder more prone to addiction or self-medication with substances?

The worst years of my bipolar disorder brought on some mighty strange stuff, as did the years soon after the worst eased. Seizure-like stuff? Migraines for the first time? I'm far from the only person with bipolar disorder that's experienced some of this, as well. And yet many don't. And how many people with bipolar disorder have I met that had fibromyalgia? I don't have it, but it's co-occurrence is oddly frequent.

At one point in my illness, I was sent to a neurologist because psychiatrists suspected seizure activity. And of course seizure activity, itself, varies widely. It's not all convulsions. In fact, many with epilepsy (or pseudo seizures) never even have convulsions. Some stuff is strangely like hallucinations. Is that really seizure activity? Or is that a unique symptom of bipolar disorder? Some doctors have even said that bipolar episodes are types of seizures. It sure is interesting that there are so many links between bipolar disorder and the other conditions I mentioned above.

Depression is obviously listed as a symptom of bipolar disorder, but so many sufferers also have issues with anxiety or panic. I know that anxiety often accompanies depression, and yet it's not a symptom in the depression part of the bipolar DSM listing. It is a "feature", as the DSM-5 calls it. There are other features, as well, many of which not all sufferers experience. Ever had catatonia?

A lot of people justifiably complain about bipolar medication side effects, but really the disorder, itself, can bring on many physical illnesses/symptoms. Mania can definitely bring on tachycardia, maybe high blood pressure, and similar.

There are so many examples, many of which I don't know about.

Brilliant! Absolutely perfect.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

I think that people with bipolar disorder don't all experience the same symptoms. Obviously, there are ones that most do have that are pretty standard, and I'm sure most psychiatrists do want minimum criteria met for diagnosis. However, as for "other" stuff, I believe it depends on the patient's particular "flavor", as my psychiatrist puts it. I am a believer in the bipolar spectrum idea. I also see so many co-occurring disorders in some, but not all diagnosed with bipolar. For example, I can't count how many people have had issues with self-harm, or eating disorders. Why are some with bipolar disorder more prone to addiction or self-medication with substances?

The worst years of my bipolar disorder brought on some mighty strange stuff, as did the years soon after the worst eased. Seizure-like stuff? Migraines for the first time? I'm far from the only person with bipolar disorder that's experienced some of this, as well. And yet many don't. And how many people with bipolar disorder have I met that had fibromyalgia? I don't have it, but it's co-occurrence is oddly frequent.

At one point in my illness, I was sent to a neurologist because psychiatrists suspected seizure activity. And of course seizure activity, itself, varies widely. It's not all convulsions. In fact, many with epilepsy (or pseudo seizures) never even have convulsions. Some stuff is strangely like hallucinations. Is that really seizure activity? Or is that a unique symptom of bipolar disorder? Some doctors have even said that bipolar episodes are types of seizures. It sure is interesting that there are so many links between bipolar disorder and the other conditions I mentioned above.

Depression is obviously listed as a symptom of bipolar disorder, but so many sufferers also have issues with anxiety or panic. I know that anxiety often accompanies depression, and yet it's not a symptom in the depression part of the bipolar DSM listing. It is a "feature", as the DSM-5 calls it. There are other features, as well, many of which not all sufferers experience. Ever had catatonia?

A lot of people justifiably complain about bipolar medication side effects, but really the disorder, itself, can bring on many physical illnesses/symptoms. Mania can definitely bring on tachycardia, maybe high blood pressure, and similar.

There are so many examples, many of which I don't know about.

Outstanding explanation. Thank you!