FAQ/Help |
Calendar |
Search |
catches the flowers
Member Since Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701
(SuperPoster!)
4 23.7k hugs
given |
#961
Quote:
Ugggghhhh, uti's are miserable. Horrible. The worst! Be sure to take your antibiotic exactly as prescribed. Also, you can purchase AZO in any drug store or on Amazon. It does help. Yes, when I was on Geodon it killed my appetite. So nice after Seroquel, which made me want to eat everything in sight. But the Geodon also gave me such insomnia, I couldn't sleep at all. So I had to stop taking it. __________________ |
|
bpcyclist
|
bpcyclist
|
Guest
Posts: n/a
|
#962
I'm going back and forth between super healthy and super unhealthy habits rapidly. Like woke up screaming, crying, punching walls and wanted to do dangerous things that almost caused my cousin's death, but decided against it because I have to drive later today and the nurse would probably call for a wellness check because I've never missed an injection. Got myself into the shower and when I got out it was some sort of metamorphasis (again) and suddenly I was thinking "I'm gonna put on pants!" and "I'm going to do yoga!" and such.
My whole arm is tremory. It started at some point yesterday. Yesterday was an unhealthy day. I was sober for about a total of 3 hours between when I woke up at 3am and whenever I went to bed. That's probably why my arm is f'ked up. I don't care if I sound like an addict I'm waiting until I'm out of oxy until I stop. I'm almost out anyways. Thought about snorting it so I'd actually feel something. Not going to stop the weed. Maybe pick up some paint today? I kinda want to paint a spider web on one of the walls in my bedroom. Also want to get tatted. Edit: Tremor stopped after I got my injection, so I guess my rx is doing more harm than my substance abuse. Taper off the risperdal and do more drugs, got it! (bad joke, I know) Last edited by Anonymous43918; Aug 11, 2020 at 02:58 PM.. |
*Beth*, Anonymous41462, bpcyclist, Innerzone, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123
|
bpcyclist
|
Legendary
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: Portland
Posts: 12,681
(SuperPoster!)
4 40.2k hugs
given |
#963
Quote:
__________________ When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
|
Legendary
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: Portland
Posts: 12,681
(SuperPoster!)
4 40.2k hugs
given |
#964
Be safe, spikes.
__________________ When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
Legendary
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: Portland
Posts: 12,681
(SuperPoster!)
4 40.2k hugs
given |
#965
Almost no sleep again last night. Felt pretty hypo maybe, but I am not good at insight even when hypo. Up, down, up, down. Does anyone else sort of cycle more frequently than the books say occasionally? Don't really know what rapid cycling is or whatever. But just wondering if others do this, too ever. And no, I def do not have borderline pd, that is off the table. This only happens occasionally for me, more so in recent yrs. Thanks!
Hugs. __________________ When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
*Beth*, Anonymous41462, Innerzone, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123
|
*Beth*
|
Elder
Member Since Mar 2013
Location: NJ
Posts: 6,434
11 9,563 hugs
given |
#966
Speaking with my therapist was very comforting. I didn’t have to say anything specific; just that I have been dissociating when RS shoes me affection. She already knew about one incident with my husband that could elicit such a response, so she didn’t bother pressing for more. In fact, she said the “why” wasn’t important. All I need to recognize is that the part of my brain that is respond for this trauma response is not connected to my rational mind. At one time, the numbness served me well; to protect me from a real threat. Now it’s being triggered by the same situation, except the actual threat isn’t there. It makes sense. She said that with time and consistent practice, I could teach my brain to loosen the connection with the threat and remake connections with the present moment, which is not threatening. Such as, relaxing my breathing, practicing “open hands”, and one other thing I don’t remember. I am glad thAt I didn’t have to actually admit to anything. I believe I am going to instead make use of the journal I bought a few weeks ago, and try to work through the actual thoughts and memories myself. That way no one has to know my shame, and I can work on forgiving myself.
__________________ Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real? -Albus Dumbledore That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have. -Garden State |
Anonymous41462, bpcyclist, Innerzone, Moose72, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123
|
bpcyclist
|
catches the flowers
Member Since Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701
(SuperPoster!)
4 23.7k hugs
given |
#967
Quote:
In my mind I call those sudden spikes "flashes." For example, I'll be feeling overall stable, then have a day when I'm having hypomanic (or manic) flashes. I do believe that eventually, the realities of BD will be more refined. BD might look quite different than the old "manic depression" prototype that still influences the diagnosis. __________________ Last edited by *Beth*; Aug 11, 2020 at 04:29 PM.. |
|
bpcyclist
|
bpcyclist
|
Legendary
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: Portland
Posts: 12,681
(SuperPoster!)
4 40.2k hugs
given |
#968
Quote:
__________________ When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
|
Guest
Posts: n/a
|
#969
Not doing well at all today. Literally getting confused and scared without reason. I get this way sometimes and I don’t know what causes it. I don’t know I’ll make it through the night at work. I’ll just quit, stay my two weeks I’ve paid for and move back in with my mom. I can’t keep living my life like this. I’m so unhappy.
I luckily knew the way to work because my GPS kept trying to get me to go other ways. I am just glad I got here in one piece. I got real nervous and scared feeling while driving. Mom texted me about how much she worries about me living in this “evil city”. 🙄. Anyway... Pray I calm down. I don’t even understand my own emotions at the moment. I feel so uncomfortable. |
*Beth*, Anonymous41462, bpcyclist, Innerzone, Moose72, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123
|
*Beth*, bpcyclist, Moose72
|
catches the flowers
Member Since Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701
(SuperPoster!)
4 23.7k hugs
given |
#970
Quote:
But, despite the scary reputation it has, every person I've known who has received ECT in contemporary times is glad they made that decision. And by "every person", I do mean every person I've communicated with about it. (There's a thread in Bipolar Treatments about ECT.) Whatever you decide, there is one way or another that you will have relief from your symptoms. I promise you that. I've been deeply involved in the mental health community IRL for decades and online for a long time. I have yet to meet anyone who, if they stick with treatment, doesn't become stable sooner or later. I'm being honest about that. Also, I want to mention that you're still climbing up there on Lamictal. You have a long way to go before you're at the max dose. Another thought I have...Lamictal alone...anxiety...I can only speak for myself on the subject, but I definitely have to take a med specifically to lessen my anxiety (in my case, Trilafon). btw- there might be 2 threads on Bipolar Treatment about ECT. There's a man named Guinness here on PC who could give you a lot of info on ECT. I think he's a mod or a community liason. Not pushing you toward ECT, but it's a feeling of security to have that option. __________________ |
|
bpcyclist
|
bpcyclist
|
Grand Magnate
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: United States
Posts: 3,018
9 1,867 hugs
given |
#971
@BeyondtheRainbow.
Went back to 300mg, 100mg in the morning and 200mg at night. My morning dose didn't give me akathisia so that's a good start. In a really good mood too __________________ |
bpcyclist, Soupe du jour
|
bpcyclist, Soupe du jour
|
Wise Elder
Member Since Apr 2015
Location: US
Posts: 9,233
(SuperPoster!)
9 9,387 hugs
given |
#972
@falcon09 I just realized that I probably had akathesia on it at first too. I'd totally forgotten and at the time wouldn't have called it akathesia because I wasn't unable to sit still as with previous akathesia but I was so sensitive to everything. I kept telling the nurses and pdocs that it felt like my skin was gone and everything was hitting my bare nerves. I stayed really agitated until they put me on quite a bit of gabapenting which I'd been on before for akathesia since it doesn't interact with my MAOI. Looking back though I think it could have been akathesia that was treated rapidly. I've always been on a decent dose of gabapentin since and I know I have to have it to sleep (so the clozapine isn't that sedating, at least not until I'm asleep already). Interesting. I'll have to ask my pdoc about that.
I hope that your med changes work. I'm glad you are in a good mood on the 300; that's a good sign. Hopefully the combination of 300 mg and PRN geodon is your magic potion. __________________ Bipolar 1, PTSD, GAD, OCD. Clozapine 250 mg, Emsam 12 mg/day patch, topamax 25 mg, ,Gabapentin 1700 mg & 100-2 PRN,. 1.5 mg clonazepam., 50 mg Seroquel |
bpcyclist, falcon09, Soupe du jour
|
bpcyclist, falcon09
|
Legendary
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: Portland
Posts: 12,681
(SuperPoster!)
4 40.2k hugs
given |
#973
Quote:
__________________ When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
|
Soupe du jour
|
*Beth*
|
Legendary
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: Portland
Posts: 12,681
(SuperPoster!)
4 40.2k hugs
given |
#974
Quote:
__________________ When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
|
Legendary
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: Portland
Posts: 12,681
(SuperPoster!)
4 40.2k hugs
given |
#976
__________________ When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
Soupe du jour
|
*Beth*
|
Grand Magnate
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: United States
Posts: 3,018
9 1,867 hugs
given |
#977
Really elevated mood. Happy. But any time I feel really happy like this I worry about mania. Sucks
__________________ |
bpcyclist, Innerzone, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123
|
bpcyclist
|
Guest
Posts: n/a
|
#978
Up and down today. Did lots of good housework but got stirred-up by a ZOOM meeting. Did my meditation but still with the avalanche of thoughts.
|
bpcyclist, Innerzone, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123
|
bpcyclist
|
Legendary
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: Portland
Posts: 12,681
(SuperPoster!)
4 40.2k hugs
given |
#979
__________________ When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
falcon09
|
Silver Swan
Member Since Jan 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 16,475
(SuperPoster!)
16 2,551 hugs
given |
#980
Ii went over in my calories for the day and I'm still hungry. Phooey.
__________________ Wellbutrin XL 300 mg Loxapine 50mg Ingrezza 80 mg Ativan .5 mg 2x/day Propranolol 20 mg 2x/day Mania (December 2023) Mixed episode/Hypomania (September 2023) Depression, Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts (September 2021) Depression & Psychosis (July/August 2021) Mania (April/May 2019) |
Anonymous41462, bpcyclist, Soupe du jour
|
bpcyclist
|
Closed Thread |
|