[Innerzone]

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

Air quality index right now is 504, worst of any big city on earth. Cannot see 200 yds, as IZ said. I do not know how this gigantic state w a tiny population of 5 million is going to survive. Pls pray for OR, WA, and CA.

Found a chart that puts numbers over 500 in perspective (skipped the lesser numbers)

151-200 Unhealthy

201-300 Very Unhealthy
Health warnings of emergency conditions. The entire population is more likely to be affected.
Active children and adults, and people with respiratory disease, such as asthma, should avoid all outdoor exertion; everyone else, especially children, should limit outdoor exertion.

300+ Hazardous
Health alert: everyone may experience more serious health effects
Everyone should avoid all outdoor exertion

So yeah, hazardous starts quite far back from where we are. Took pictures from my windows again this morning. It is even worse than yesterday. Forget a block, you can barely make out what is across the street.

Ended up going to work yesterday. The boss picked me up and brought me home (will be same today) so I wouldn't be out in it waiting for buses.

Mentally it's hard to say. Kind of feels like an overload shutdown. Spending all spare time in distraction. So glad for youtube and Netflix. Though last night I watched political news. Suffice to say my exasperation is at epic levels.

[Innerzone]

Let's see if this works...
First is the house across the street. Can you see it? Second is a shot from yesterday, the third is a shot of the same, today.

[swimmingly]

Just a quick note to let you know that while I'm not a religious or Spiritual person, I think about my West Coast friends all the time. I worry about you and your families and send positive thoughts your way. More than I'm holding any back for myself at this point.

[Daonnachd]

Originally Posted by swimmingly

Just a quick note to let you know that while I'm not a religious or Spiritual person, I think about my West Coast friends all the time. I worry about you and your families and send positive thoughts your way. More than I'm holding any back for myself at this point.

Well, we're sending positive thoughts your way. I put in a word for you with the universe yesterday when I read your thread.

[Mountaindewed]

I feel alright today besides another night of restless sleep. I’m doing good though. I went to the store and got a few things. It was a bit more crowded then I liked so I was too distracted to do a big shopping. It wasn’t horrible and I didn’t run into anyone though. It was just anxiety provoking. I’ll do the rest of my shopping at a different store tomorrow morning. My state is still stable with the number covid cases and low on the deaths. We are not going down but we are not going up. I’m just really taking it day by day right now. I’m just very focused on my surgery. I see my doctor tomorrow so I can get clearance for the surgery. I realized today that I’ll be able to run for the first time since I was 13 and that made me so incredibly happy. I couldn’t run before because of my size. It was too physically and emotionally uncomfortable even with a good sports bra.

[fern46]

Originally Posted by Innerzone

Let's see if this works...
First is the house across the street. Can you see it? Second is a shot from yesterday, the third is a shot of the same, today.

That's horrible IZ. It looks like a very thick fog. So sorry you're going through that. Hugs.

[Soupe du jour]

Originally Posted by Innerzone

Let's see if this works...
First is the house across the street. Can you see it? Second is a shot from yesterday, the third is a shot of the same, today.

It's so frightening to see. I can't believe that this is not handled with even greater national effort. Hugs

[Soupe du jour]

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

I feel alright today besides another night of restless sleep. I’m doing good though. I went to the store and got a few things. It was a bit more crowded then I liked so I was too distracted to do a big shopping. It wasn’t horrible and I didn’t run into anyone though. It was just anxiety provoking. I’ll do the rest of my shopping at a different store tomorrow morning. My state is still stable with the number covid cases and low on the deaths. We are not going down but we are not going up. I’m just really taking it day by day right now. I’m just very focused on my surgery. I see my doctor tomorrow so I can get clearance for the surgery. I realized today that I’ll be able to run for the first time since I was 13 and that made me so incredibly happy. I couldn’t run before because of my size. It was too physically and emotionally uncomfortable even with a good sports bra.

I'm happy to read that you managed your chores so well. It sounds like you have some really positive things to look forward to. That's great!

[Soupe du jour]

What a difference a bit more Seroquel XR makes! I took the 50 mg in the morning with my morning meds and felt so much better today. Hubby was the one with the freakouts today, I'm sad to say, while I was level and calm as could be. I'm going to take the extra tomorrow morning, too.

[scatterbrained04]

My mood improved from this morning. I made it to the grocery and have been doing chores off and all afternoon to work on this pig sty of a house. I don't know why I always let it get so bad. It's such a struggle. I've been breaking it down into smaller chunks so I don't feel so overwhelmed. I just need to keep at it, I guess.

[Living in LaLa Land]

I slept 3 to 4 hours last night. Big loss from a seven hour sleep I had the previous night. I woke up and took a shower (Had to talk myself into that actually). My husband took me for a ride. The smoke from the fires could be seen for miles, but still I enjoyed the ride.

I'm trying to keep my mood light as the day progresses. The night is still my biggest trigger as long as I deal with this insomnia. Ugh.

[Innerzone]

Just wanted to say thanks for all that have the west coast in their thoughts in this awful time.

I also wanted to say, that as bad as it is, it is far worse for those who have had to evacuate. That must be so traumatic. My heart goes out especially much for them.

[*Beth*]

Thank you to everyone who is sending healing vibes to California, Oregon, Washington, etc. We appreciate it immensely and need all we can get. Where I am, in NorCal, we're supposed to get gusty winds tomorrow. That could blow some of the smoke out to the Pacific. Unfortunately, winds also fan fires.

Personally, I'm feeling kind of down today. It's one of those days when everywhere I look there seems to be a locked door. I'm sure the weeks of smoke are getting to me, never seeing a sun or a moon, just filthy, stinking air. And all the devastation, of course. There's surely a collective unconscious of despair out here right now.

And covid. Some days I feel able to handle it all, wait it out. Today...March seems like many years ago. Another year-plus of this feels un-doable. All the little perks that make life sparkle, even putting together an outfit to go to my therapy appointment, just the silly little bits of life. I'm realizing that I no longer can find the motivation to go anywhere. I mean, I'm still in recovery from the achilles surgery, true. But...oh, just feeling down and wish it was bedtime already.

HUGS all 'round

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

The stress of my trip is starting to get to me. Yesterday I had a bit of a freak out. I barely want to describe it. It had to do with how stress/anxiety makes me even clumsier than I usually am. And I am quite clumsy because of my medications. As I ranted walking down the street, I punched myself in my jaw once, when people finally passed. Hubby yelled at me to stop.

I'm not thrilled about where we are staying in France. It's a touristy beach resort. Hubby likes beaches much more than I do, so it's mostly for him. You can tell that locals get sick of tourists. I do get that, having grown up in a touristy town. But it's not what I wanted to feel here. At a supermarket, someone likely deliberately scratched the door of our rental car with a coin, or similar. The rental car has Spain license plates. Hubby thinks they did that because it's a nice new car. I think Spain plates probably played more of a part.

I had hoped we would stay in an area where we might consider living. Not a touristy beach resort. Gotta admit that yesterday makes me wish we could move on to another place, but Hubby has us booked at the beach resort for about five days. He likes to do all of the planning for trips, rarely asking for feedback, so it's always his choices. Boo hiss!

I decided to take an extra 50 mg Seroquel XR today, but to my morning dose. I have taken that extra amount many times in the past (in the morning and/or added to my 650 mg evening) with no problems. It doesn't tire me out, just calms any developing mood elevation, anxiety, agitation, and irritability/freak out tendencies. If everything calms, I will eliminate the 50 mg again.

I understand how you feel about staying in a tourist spot. Doing that is never my style, either. Wherever in the world I've traveled I avoid setting up camp in touristy locations - and try not to spend much time in them, altogether.

Seroquel is my least favorite med, but one thing I will say for it is that taking it prn can be helpful.

[Moose72]

My mom hired movers for me! This shouldn't take too long I hope!

Also, I got my difficult paperwork done and it's ready to be mailed tomorrow. Yay! Its gonna be really early and that's what my worker said she wanted. I just hope Ive got everything done!

Still haven't signed my lease. I will feel better when I do!

My new place is very small compared to the place I've had for the last 4 years. But Im planning to live more simply. I just won't have the space to keep everything I've got. But I do want to get a couch. Maybe from Ikea if I have enough money left after paying rent and deposit.

I had lunch with Karen today again. I had a salad which was my whole calories for the day and THEN I ordered a piece of cheesecake! My food app got mad and said "tsk tsk" and graphed out my weight gain from today's meal and told me I'd be back where I started soon! The cheesecake filled in the deficit of calories that I had yesterday so I say I'm even.

My friend Caleb is taking the day off to come see me on the first. I hope he stays late on Friday or maybe even into Saturday! That would be cool!

Prayers and warm thoughts to those living with the fires and smoke.

[*Beth*]

Moose - movers! That is great

[Soupe du jour]

Originally Posted by BethRags

Thank you to everyone who is sending healing vibes to California, Oregon, Washington, etc. We appreciate it immensely and need all we can get. Where I am, in NorCal, we're supposed to get gusty winds tomorrow. That could blow some of the smoke out to the Pacific. Unfortunately, winds also fan fires.

Personally, I'm feeling kind of down today. It's one of those days when everywhere I look there seems to be a locked door. I'm sure the weeks of smoke are getting to me, never seeing a sun or a moon, just filthy, stinking air. And all the devastation, of course. There's surely a collective unconscious of despair out here right now.

And covid. Some days I feel able to handle it all, wait it out. Today...March seems like many years ago. Another year-plus of this feels un-doable. All the little perks that make life sparkle, even putting together an outfit to go to my therapy appointment, just the silly little bits of life. I'm realizing that I no longer can find the motivation to go anywhere. I mean, I'm still in recovery from the achilles surgery, true. But...oh, just feeling down and wish it was bedtime already.

HUGS all 'round

Between the fires and covid you and your fellow west coasters have it deal with, I would think it almost like living in a figurative war zone. I feel so bad about the "collective unconscious of despair" you wrote about.

I wish there was more that the rest of the country could do to help calm the fires. If there is, I hope it soon gets fully offered.

Hugs

[Soupe du jour]

Originally Posted by Moose72

My mom hired movers for me! This shouldn't take too long I hope!

Also, I got my difficult paperwork done and it's ready to be mailed tomorrow. Yay! Its gonna be really early and that's what my worker said she wanted. I just hope Ive got everything done!

Still haven't signed my lease. I will feel better when I do!

My new place is very small compared to the place I've had for the last 4 years. But Im planning to live more simply. I just won't have the space to keep everything I've got. But I do want to get a couch. Maybe from Ikea if I have enough money left after paying rent and deposit.

I had lunch with Karen today again. I had a salad which was my whole calories for the day and THEN I ordered a piece of cheesecake! My food app got mad and said "tsk tsk" and graphed out my weight gain from today's meal and told me I'd be back where I started soon! The cheesecake filled in the deficit of calories that I had yesterday so I say I'm even.

My friend Caleb is taking the day off to come see me on the first. I hope he stays late on Friday or maybe even into Saturday! That would be cool!

Prayers and warm thoughts to those living with the fires and smoke.

All the best with your move, Moose! That's great you'll have the help to make it easier.

I, personally, yearn for a simpler life. Maybe not so simple as what Henry David Thoreau sought, but still simpler than what I have. My husband makes that a bit difficult. I never wish to part with him, but if I did, I would definitely "Simplify, simplify. " I see that as one of the keys to my mental wellness.

"Men [women] have become the tools of their tools...Our life is frittered away by detail. Simplify, simplify." - Henry David Thoreau

[Soupe du jour]

I convinced my husband to chop a day off of the beach resort where we're staying. Instead, we'll spend the last night at a hotel not far from the Spanish border. That allows us to more easily explore areas far from the beach resort (Pyrenees mountain area) and makes our next day morning drive to Barcelona airport much shorter. I'll also be glad to enjoy a hotel breakfast instead of what we've been having lately.

Hubby wants to visit a particular house for sale in France. I see that as totally impractical because it wastes time (we're not moving to France for at least a year). Then of course the realtor only wishes to show a house they hope we'll buy, which wouldn't be that one. Hubby is so frigging stubborn sometimes. And if I tell him to go see it himself, I am of course the bad one. Also, I looked at that house online and it wouldn't be one that interests me. It's a converted barn.

Looking at apartments in Czech Republic? That is practical.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

Between the fires and covid you and your fellow west coasters have it deal with, I would think it almost like living in a figurative war zone. I feel so bad about the "collective unconscious of despair" you wrote about.

I wish there was more that the rest of the country could do to help calm the fires. If there is, I hope it soon gets fully offered.

Hugs

Thank you so much, Soupe