[SweetPotatoe]

Mania after stopping meds,
For the past two summers, I was supposed to be putting my house on the market. Those two summers were probably the most difficult times of my life. So this year I decided to slowly go off my meds in May to see if I’d be motivated enough to get my house in order along with my mind. By late June I was completely off my meds. Listed my house myself andI did a very professional job listing it on Zillow. The buyers who came to the house wanted to know who had taken the photos and who had staged the home which was a great pat on the back. I negotiate the buyers agent commission down when each one told me what their “usual” % is. I’m not a realtor and rather reclusive but I needed to sell. It wasn’t an easy part to play but I forced myself. The first people that came to see it gave us a contract. I really thought I was superwoman, painting, re-painting, scraping, I could sell my house on my own, I was magnificent. I could do anything, it was such a great feeling. But then in the beginning of August everything fell through in my mind. I had thought I was misdiagnosed and didn’t need meds. It was quite a lesson to learn but I realize without meds I can’t function, but more importantly I might not even be here. I admitted to my psychiatrist that I had gone off them slowly but when my low hit it was insanely scary. Have any of you experienced this grandiosity of amazingness, you could do it all, you could do everything because you’re so, so phenomenal? Now I’m back on my meds and 40 pounds later I have no motivation, I was an avid exerciser but due to a ankle injury I can’t really exercise nor do I experience my usual need for the high it gave me.
Honestly, all I wanna do is eat breakfast and take a nap. Eat lunch and take a nap. Skip dinner read a book and go to bed by nine. I am very happy that I no longer have the suicidal thoughts daily which is a huge relief but the constant melancholy is dreadful. The weight gain is dreadful, mostly the body fat.
I guess what I’m saying is that meds or a bittersweet reality.

[bpcyclist]

If you are melancholy, then your depression is still an issue.

You might read about Provigil. Either it lr maybe 20 mg of Adderall XR might give you a boost through this med haze.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by SweetPotatoe

Mania after stopping meds,
For the past two summers, I was supposed to be putting my house on the market. Those two summers were probably the most difficult times of my life. So this year I decided to slowly go off my meds in May to see if I’d be motivated enough to get my house in order along with my mind. By late June I was completely off my meds. Listed my house myself andI did a very professional job listing it on Zillow. The buyers who came to the house wanted to know who had taken the photos and who had staged the home which was a great pat on the back. I negotiate the buyers agent commission down when each one told me what their “usual” % is. I’m not a realtor and rather reclusive but I needed to sell. It wasn’t an easy part to play but I forced myself. The first people that came to see it gave us a contract. I really thought I was superwoman, painting, re-painting, scraping, I could sell my house on my own, I was magnificent. I could do anything, it was such a great feeling. But then in the beginning of August everything fell through in my mind. I had thought I was misdiagnosed and didn’t need meds.

Welcome to the bipolar disorder board

A very common belief among people with bipolar disorder...I don't really have bipolar disorder, so why take medication?

It was quite a lesson to learn but I realize without meds I can’t function, but more importantly I might not even be here. I admitted to my psychiatrist that I had gone off them slowly but when my low hit it was insanely scary. Have any of you experienced this grandiosity of amazingness, you could do it all, you could do everything because you’re so, so phenomenal?

Absolutely! More times than I can count. Sometimes that experience still happens, to a much lesser and shorter degree, when I'm on meds.

If I'm not on meds, or not on the correct meds, yes. You've described a form of mania. I've experienced it and paid many very, very high prices for it.

Now I’m back on my meds and 40 pounds later I have no motivation, I was an avid exerciser but due to a ankle injury I can’t really exercise nor do I experience my usual need for the high it gave me.
Honestly, all I wanna do is eat breakfast and take a nap. Eat lunch and take a nap. Skip dinner read a book and go to bed by nine.

Yep. That's the cruelty of a mental illness that needs to be treated with meds.

I am very happy that I no longer have the suicidal thoughts daily which is a huge relief but the constant melancholy is dreadful. The weight gain is dreadful, mostly the body fat.
I guess what I’m saying is that meds or a bittersweet reality.

The weight gain is awful, unhealthy, the lack of motivation is a mean, nasty thing.

I will say this: are you sure the depression side of your BD is being properly treated? Also, that you're not over-medicated?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[*Beth*]

bpcyclist and I posted at the same time, and we both mentioned untreated depression. It sounds like something you could speak with your pdoc about. Too many times pdocs tend to treat mania and neglect the depression aspect of BD.