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Monster on the Hill
Member Since Sep 2020
Location: by the river
Posts: 5,298
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#1
I always feel angry and hopeless, kinda wondering if that's the norm
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bpcyclist, Coolbreeze74, Fuzzybear, RoxanneToto, Soupe du jour
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bpcyclist, Coolbreeze74
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catches the flowers
Member Since Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701
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#2
Good question!
After pdoc appointments and therapy appointments I feel about the same way. I appreciate their time and energy, because both pdoc and therapist are caring, skilled women. But I always feel like I didn't express myself in a way that was clear. It feels like I left things out because I don't know how to put certain important parts of my life into words. So I guess I'd say that I feel somewhat lost. This is especially true since having to do telehealth. __________________ |
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Member
Member Since Dec 2019
Location: Washington
Posts: 334
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#3
Yeah I feel really let down and disappointed when I talk to my pdoc. Some days with my therapist too.... having ****** care is almost worse than having no care at all.
I'm sorry |
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bpcyclist
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,445
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#4
Quote:
I'm sorry too, to those who have not found a good pdoc (or T). I've been told they are out there. I read a book by Peter Lomas years ago. imo he is a model of a ''good professional''.. (he passed away in 2010 though I think) __________________ |
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Legendary
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: Portland
Posts: 12,681
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#5
Recently, really tired and really scared. And a little bitty bit hopeful. I found a little money and start therapy for first time in four yrs. I need it terribly. So sick. But yay!!! Prayers answered. Maybe they can help me integrate, whatever that is?
__________________ When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
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Magnate
Member Since Apr 2009
Posts: 2,933
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#6
I feel hopeful after my T appointment. I have a very good, compassionate T. Sometimes I feel like I haven’t expressed myself well, but he always is ready to listen.
I have been frustrated after p-nurse appointments... not because of her, but because of my med sensitivity. |
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*Beth*, bpcyclist, Fuzzybear, Soupe du jour
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bpcyclist
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Elder
Member Since Jun 2015
Location: Czechia
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#7
It really has varied depending on the psychiatrist and therapist. I've only had three outpatient psychiatrists of any length. My most recent one I've been seeing for about 12 years. I absolutely adore him, and always have. I've told him in the past that my appointments with him were "the highlights of my month". Generally they were, not to say I didn't have a handful that were less than that.
I've seen several outpatient therapists throughout the last 13 years. Some were far from being good matches for me, so I eventually quit them. I have had one that I initially didn't feel comfortable with, but in the end I benefited most from her. My most recent therapist I've been seeing for about three years. I like her. She's been helpful, but not as much this past year. It's almost like she no longer has enough to offer "the me of now." Truth is, these video/telephone sessions during the pandemic have been sadly unsatisfying. Even with my psychiatrist. Lately the video aspect has not been working properly, so it's just a phone call. I feel a bit of a disconnect with both, especially my psychiatrist, as a result. In some ways that may even be good. For a long time I dreaded the thought of having to leave my psychiatrist for Europe. The whole distance that the pandemic has created has also been a slow "weaning off", of sorts. Yes, it's for the best. Even so, my psychiatrist said that he would have video sessions with me for a short while, even when I'm in Europe. If it doesn't work out because of the technology, then I guess it will be a bust. It is deeply sad that I may never see him again, face-to-face. I don't really have that same sadness in respect to my therapist. |
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*Beth*, bpcyclist, Fuzzybear
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*Beth*, bpcyclist
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2013
Location: Middle Earth
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#8
I feel really good and hopeful after them, but I have a really good treatment team
__________________ “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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bpcyclist
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Grand Member
Member Since Nov 2019
Location: In my head, mostly
Posts: 754
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#9
Sometimes I get frustrated that I can't properly express what's going on. I feel like words only scratch the surface of it. It can make me feel even more isolated. I don't think it's necessarily anyone's fault. These things are just too complex to explain, especially to someone who's never experienced it (no matter how much theoretical knowledge they may have). I wish I could just convey the information telepathically, that would be so much simpler and more effective.
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bpcyclist, scatterbrained04
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
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#10
Pdoc appointments I feel kind of weird. Therapy appointments I feel either good or confused depending on what kind of mood she’s in that day. Immediately after we sign off I always feel sad that it wasn’t an in person session and also that she’s now onto her next client.
__________________ I'm Blue |
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bpcyclist
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Member
Member Since Jan 2018
Location: Seattle, wA
Posts: 150
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#11
Quote:
Lost at the end of pdoc sessions bc I feel she doesn’t fully understand and that I didn’t explain well enough. But grateful that she makes med changes when needed. I used to always feel worse after therapy appointments so I stopped sessions when covid hit and feel it was the right decision for me. My therapist didn’t get “it.” I feel great after my care manager appointments (who kinda acts as therapist). I feel like she has a better understanding of the depth of my symptoms. And I know she will help advocate for me. __________________ Dx: Bipolar Anxiety ADD Meds: Risperidone Tegretol Abilify Zoloft Buspar Adderall [prior meds: lithium, lamictal, cymbalta, ritalin] |
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*Beth*, bpcyclist, Fuzzybear, RoxanneToto, Soupe du jour
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*Beth*, bpcyclist
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Grand Member
Member Since Nov 2019
Location: In my head, mostly
Posts: 754
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#12
Yeah, I have issues with teletherapy too. In general I feel like covid screwed up therapy pretty badly in that I'm no longer able to believe that they really care at all. It's made it very clear that mental health professionals are only there as long as it suits them. All their "empathy" just feels fraudulent to me now and I feel cheap telling my feelings to someone who doesn't genuinely give a damn. I guess it was always that way to begin with but I didn't fully realize it until they dropped me like a rock when covid started.
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*Beth*, bpcyclist, daladico, Fuzzybear, RoxanneToto, Soupe du jour
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*Beth*, bpcyclist
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Legendary
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: Portland
Posts: 12,681
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#13
Quote:
__________________ When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
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*Beth*, daladico, fern46, Fuzzybear, Soupe du jour
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daladico
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Member
Member Since Jan 2018
Location: Seattle, wA
Posts: 150
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#14
__________________ Dx: Bipolar Anxiety ADD Meds: Risperidone Tegretol Abilify Zoloft Buspar Adderall [prior meds: lithium, lamictal, cymbalta, ritalin] |
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bpcyclist, Fuzzybear, Soupe du jour
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*Beth*, bpcyclist
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Legendary
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: Portland
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#15
__________________ When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
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*Beth*, Sometimes psychotic
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catches the flowers
Member Since Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701
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#16
__________________ |
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bpcyclist
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Magnate
Member Since Feb 2018
Location: literally hell
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#17
Feeling depressed, don't want to get out of bed. My psychologist thinks I have DID so I have to see a DID specialist. I'd rather be sad & know than to not know.
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Legendary
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: Portland
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#18
First therapy session went well. She says my childhood development likely was arrested at around age 6 due to various medical and maternal trauma, I guess. She is optimistic about integration. I parked my emotions in this child, evidently.
Very frightened and sad. The more I learn, the more aberrant and sick it appears I have been. I am afraid noone will ever be my friend. Noone will ever love me, because I am too scary and ill. I have had a secret dream of bp stability at some point and maybe a woman again. Who on earth could ever take such a personal risk to be with someone this psychiatrically unwell. Do not see it. Just too risky. So very sad and scared. __________________ When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
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*Beth*, Fuzzybear
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catches the flowers
Member Since Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701
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#19
Quote:
Meh. You truly never know. My husband and I have been married for 30-something years; he has severe OCD, PTSD from Vietnam, is a hoarder - and I have my own stuff. Yet, we understand each other so well and are the best of friends. I believe the most important aspect of any relationship is that both people are working their stuff, that both are committed to that. __________________ |
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Member
Member Since Feb 2020
Location: NYC
Posts: 75
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#20
I agree with most of the members. I often leave my therapist feeling worse. I know I have given him a difficult time on occasion but that was just my illness so I should get a pass on behavior. I always thought therapists were supposed to be super nice
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bpcyclist
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