[imaginethat]

I've made a really big mistake. One of my good good friends has many admirable traits but has loose lips. We know some of the same people at my workplace, which limits the depth of mental information I can share with her.

She knows I have depression and take buproprion. She knows that I take a lamotrogine. (I accidentally told her.) Now she knows I took an antipsychotic because I ended up in the ER twice and I wanted to tell her and I wanted sympathy. I think I accidentally told her the name of the antipsychotic. See what happens when a person can't be fully honest! It's hard to keep track of what you've said. I feel so stupid.

I don't want my coworkers to know I have bipolar disorder. What can I do? I feel so stupid for ever opening up to her and accidentally telling her stuff.

I don't want to stop being friends though because she brightens my life in so many ways. My therapist says we might have friends who we don't share deep stuff but we travel together. On the other hand, I have another friend who I can tell anything.

[*Beth*]

What can you do? Stop accidentally providing someone with personal information that she shouldn't know about.

[imaginethat]

That statement is in no way helpful. If I could accidentally stop saying things, I would.

Your statement is like saying "Want to not be depressed? >>Just<< stop it. "

[Fuzzybear]

I can relate to telling people things that I then regret. Not so much lately though.

Instead, I've been posting and deleting. Grrrrrrrrr

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by imaginethat

I've made a really big mistake. One of my good good friends has many admirable traits but has loose lips. We know some of the same people at my workplace, which limits the depth of mental information I can share with her.

She knows I have depression and take buproprion. She knows that I take a lamotrogine. (I accidentally told her.) Now she knows I took an antipsychotic because I ended up in the ER twice and I wanted to tell her and I wanted sympathy. I think I accidentally told her the name of the antipsychotic. See what happens when a person can't be fully honest! It's hard to keep track of what you've said. I feel so stupid.

I don't want my coworkers to know I have bipolar disorder. What can I do? I feel so stupid for ever opening up to her and accidentally telling her stuff.

I don't want to stop being friends though because she brightens my life in so many ways. My therapist says we might have friends who we don't share deep stuff but we travel together. On the other hand, I have another friend who I can tell anything.

I think your therapist is right. You can still be friends with her, but share the deeper stuff with the other friend. Don't beat yourself up for your mistake, everyone makes them! (I wish someone had said that to me when I was 20.....)

[Crazy Hitch]

Meds get prescribed off label. Even APS! It wouldn’t necessarily mean you have BP. I understand about not wanting to disclose. I don’t either. But due to my mayhem unfortunately quite a few people do genuinely know. And I’m mortified.

[sarahsweets]

Hey @imaginethat is this something you want to get ahead of? What I mean is would you have a conversation with her and tell her she can not say anything to your coworkers or supervisor? Or do you think that would put the thought in her head and encourage her to gossip? She is not a friend if she has done this before. And if she has done this with other people and not you yet she may. Do you want to be friends with someone who gossips and tells someone's business all over the place?

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by imaginethat

That statement is in no way helpful. If I could accidentally stop saying things, I would.

Your statement is like saying "Want to not be depressed? >>Just<< stop it. "

I'm sorry. I just don't understand what you mean by "accidentally" telling your friend personal things about yourself. Most people do have control over what they say; it's not like depression, in that it just happens out of no where.

Reading your post over, I guess you mean you trusted your friend, but mistakenly told her.

Anyway, I wouldn't trust her with such personal information.

[Coolbreeze74]

I'm sorry, I've done that before. It aucks not knowing if they are going to tell ppl. I had a neighbor. I told her i was on antidepressants. She told another neighbor that was a big bully and she called me crazy. It sucked I felt really exposed. But I was able to move on. I hope she doesn't tell anyone.

[bpcyclist]

I am so sorry.. I have been discriminated against. I get it. I have to think of what else to say.

[Marie123]

Unfortunately, we have to figure out who is a "safe" person. Hopefully, that person won't share what you told her...you will have to decide if you want to talk to her about it, if you do, you could say that you prefer that information remain private.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Coolbreeze74

I'm sorry, I've done that before. It aucks not knowing if they are going to tell ppl. I had a neighbor. I told her i was on antidepressants. She told another neighbor that was a big bully and she called me crazy. It sucked I felt really exposed. But I was able to move on. I hope she doesn't tell anyone.

That's nasty. That woman sounds like a big bytch. Grrrrrrrr. Maybe ''we'' do at times ''blame'' people who are bullies. Then we can move on. Especially if we have accurately analysed them as someone not worth any of our time. Life is too short to engage with mean people who lack insight, who do and say mean things just because they can. Not anyone here, everyone here is great. I did come across something just the other day though which I think fits my description. I have blocked that person. (probably permanently, I've seen that behaviour before from them, several times)

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

I am so sorry.. I have been discriminated against. I get it. I have to think of what else to say.

I get it too..

[fern46]

I agree with Sarahsweets about considering if it is worth asking the friend if she would be willing to keep what you shared private.

I also think it may make sense to have a strategy for how you plan to respond if someone asks you about the meds. You don't need a detailed plan, but a general idea of what you'd like to say may be helpful in the case they catch you off guard.

I am hopeful that your friend honors you properly and if not that this information surfacing somehow turns out to be a positive experience. While I agree discrimination is very real, it doesn't always have to be the outcome.

[imaginethat]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

I think your therapist is right. You can still be friends with her, but share the deeper stuff with the other friend. Don't beat yourself up for your mistake, everyone makes them! (I wish someone had said that to me when I was 20.....)

Thank you, Fuzzybear. It's quite comforting for someone to tell me "don't beat up on yourself". I'm so hard on myself.

[imaginethat]

Originally Posted by fern46

I agree with Sarahsweets about considering if it is worth asking the friend if she would be willing to keep what you shared private.

I also think it may make sense to have a strategy for how you plan to respond if someone asks you about the meds. You don't need a detailed plan, but a general idea of what you'd like to say may be helpful in the case they catch you off guard.

I am hopeful that your friend honors you properly and if not that this information surfacing somehow turns out to be a positive experience. While I agree discrimination is very real, it doesn't always have to be the outcome.

Fern64, having a strategy is a great idea. I should write one down and practice saying it!

[imaginethat]

Originally Posted by Marie123

Unfortunately, we have to figure out who is a "safe" person. Hopefully, that person won't share what you told her...you will have to decide if you want to talk to her about it, if you do, you could say that you prefer that information remain private.

I just talked to my friend and asked her to keep the meds confidential. She has no boundaries (she doesn't care what people know)about her, but I hope she respects mine.

Thank you for your support

[GSC2019]

Evening friends!!

If I may add my subjective input...

I'm my experience most people don't understand Bipolar.. the internet has ravaged what it means to be Bipolar... Which in turn has convoluted the projection people have of a Bipolar person.

Truth is; unless you knew someone was bipolar... You'd never know in most cases... Yet for some reason people get placed in a new category of human in the social world.

Though as challenging as it might be... I personally feel the best course of action would be to embrace your illness and all that comes with it. Encourage others to understand you and your illness. You should never hide who you are!!!

I agree that your friend committed an act of betrayal and they are in the wrong..

I just wanted to convey that you can control the outcome of your feelings and how you recover from it... Rejection shouldn't be your problem... It's theirs. Don't be ashamed of being honest!!

- Cheers

[Turtle_Rider]

I am sorry on what happened on you. Based on my experience, those with "charming" personality are most likely those who tend to suck up on other's secrets for juicy gossip. I am so sorry to say this... I doubt she will keep her mouth shut even if you told her so.

What should you do? Learn to analyze who are the ones you can trust and share your secret with. If they like to gossip around and share other's secrets to you, never trust them. One of my method is to give them one non-so-confidential secret about me. If that secret somehow get their way to other's ear, that's the red flag. I hope this helps you.

[Fuzzybear]

An old abuser barged into my cave and ''betrayed'' me again. There are so many arrogant A holes Grrrrrrrrrr

[Fuzzybear]

I sometimes wonder if I make a mistake telling people some things.

[corevalues]

Here's my 2 cents, if it means anything to you

You trusted someone and it backfired, but that's alright, we all do it and move on.
You probably have people at work who are also on medication for some mental health issue.
Don't shy away from questions, if ask, just say it's my personal business and my mistake to have shared it with her.

Stand up for yourself, if your employer starts giving you an issue, keep notes on date and event, that is against the law
for them to bother you.

I have made this mistake, but only when I was manic. Depression knocks me so far down, I don't speak to anyone
unless necessary.

So don't beat yourself up, just avoid this woman from now on. It's never fun to deal with this disorder, but remember
we are usually some of the smartest, creative, compassionate people around.

[imaginethat]

@corevalues, I didn't realize it's against the law to bother me about my psychiatric issues. Is that because of the American Disabilities Act?