[Soupe du jour]

Just curious. Elaboration would be great. If the categories don't describe you as a child, please say, if willing. [I should have included an "other", but it won't allow me to add that at this point.]

I deliberately put this in the bipolar forum. I wonder if anyone believes their bipolar illness influenced that behavior or if it was mostly personality or a result of other factors.

Did your behavior vary throughout your childhood? If so, any idea why?

[MuddyBoots]

I was a terror. I would stir up trouble when I was bored, which was frequently. I still do haha just in different ways.

[*Beth*]

I'm not exactly sure how to answer, because in many ways I was very different until age 13 than I was between 14 and 19.

Between ages 4 and 13 I was quiet and cooperative. I was also extremely depressed and anxious. I had occasional temper flares or risk-taking behavior that was entirely inconsistent with the "usual" me. But even then I was intense.

Between 14 and 19 I was much more outgoing, also prone to anger outbursts. My emotions were wild and intense. I excelled in classes I liked and seldom attended classes I didn't like. "Free spirit" maybe?

Although my home life, after age 5, was chaotic, and there was day-to-day violence and abuse, I believe that I was showing symptom of BD from at least age 4. By the time I was a teen I think I could have been diagnosed with BD.

I don't believe there are "naughty" children. A child who acts out is trying to cope with internal/external demons (so to speak).

[Yaowen]

Dear Soupe du jour,

What a great thread.

It would be almost impossible for me to say what category I fit into since I remember having moments of strength, weakness, courage, daring, fear, outgoing behavior, shyness, cleverness, foolishness, care , carelessness, ambition, laziness, kind heartedness, mean spiritedness, generosity , stinginess, humility, pride, empathy, coldness, sensitivity, insensitivity, politeness, rudeness, honesty, deceitfulness, fun-lovingness, un-fun-lovingness, tolerance, intolerance, calmness, agitation, anger, peacefulness, competitiveness, cooperation-ness.

I don't have any insight in how all these moments made me the "kind" of person I am. I lack such insight now as an adult and I think I had even less insight when I was young. I guess an Infinite Being could say what "kind" of a child I was but I don't really know.

Hopefully you will get many responses to you post. I will be looking forward to reading what others post.

Sincerely yours, Yao Wen

[Moose72]

Not that naughty but not a goodie two shoes.

I got in my fair share of trouble, but not chronically. I was a pretty good kid, but not all the time.

[The Black Dog]

Shy and good in school. An energetic troublemaker when I got home. I was left to play outside most of the time and had to be creative on what to do.

[Nammu]

Teachers either loved me or hated me. I loved knowledge and ate it up but some teachers were burned out. My bp wasn’t an issue till I was in college.

[Soupe du jour]

I wasn't quite a terror (that was my brother), but I certainly had my share of naughty days. I got in trouble at school at lot, mostly for talking too much (I've been called gabby), being too loud, not doing my homework, talking back to or challenging my teachers, and occasionally swearing. Being sent to the corner or hallway was always a treat. [I entertained myself well, often dancing .] I was sent to the principal's office a number of times. Once I waged a complaint against my third grade teacher, when sent. Another time I got the paddle (was still given in 1970s Pennsylvania). Other times, after school or weekend detention.

Like Yaowen, my mood did have some fluctuations. I also had periods of great anxiety, depression and despair, and anger. Won't go into that other than to say that the school told my parents to send me to a private school, which they did.

At university I was fine, but turned into the student in the class that raised her hand all of the time, with all of the answers. I remember once telling myself "Soupe, don't raise your hand! The other students are probably sick and tired of you!" Then, of course, no one would answer the professor's question. So.... He looked straight at me and asked:

"Soupe... What do you think?"

A rush of relief like a tidalwave then came over me, then I answered, gleefully. He had mercy on me. Thank you, thank you, 谢谢 Professor Li!

I do think my bipolar disorder played some part in the above, fairly early on. However, I also think nature and nurture played a part. Many in my family are similar, with just a few exceptions.

[Polibeth]

I was a total goody two-shoes until I became a teenager when I turned into a terror for my parents (but I was still a teacher's pet at school).

[Coolbreeze74]

I was a very scared child. Especially after my dad died. I was 4 and very anxious and scared. I turned 12 and became a brat. I grew up way too fast after that.

[Fuzzybear]

I was scared I guess. It's complicated I voted for not that naughty but not a goody two shoes.

[fern46]

I was a Jekyll and Hyde. I was the perfect student and buddy at school. Goody two shoes for sure. I saved up all my feelings and then unleashed them at home. My mom described me as a little pressure cooker. I was pretty loving and cool though when I wasn't taking my crap out on my family. Luckily I learned to process without projecting everything outwardly.

I said things how they were as a child. no matter the outcome, I'd say it (it's a quality I've had from an early age)

I was also quick to correct people. when people would try to make me do something (or go somewhere) I'd tell them no, and give my reasons for not going/ doing, and usually that was that

if I had to be naughty I would (I once through stones at my teacher because she wanted me to wear a coat), but when she came and felt my hands and they were warm, she decided that if I didn't feel the cold, that was that

in short, I felt I was better than the adults

I knew what I wanted and would do anything to get it

(I still do!)

[Jester's Rags]

In my young days, before I can remember, my uncle recently described me as the coolest little kid he’s ever known. Said I was fun and could relate well to adults.

Starting from my own memories ,I was energized always engaged in something to the hilt. Had to be front and center. Bit of a fragile ego. In early grade school I was deemed to be “gifted” and was placed in a special program. It was all a bit too rigid for me and I tended to be disruptive. Smart enough to get good grades even with the goofing off.

I was honest to a fault and in most cases would give someone the benefit of a doubt (not so these days. I’m kind of embarrassed of what I’ve become).
Anyway.
When I was around 11, my father and I took a ride and he told me a family secret that was really only secret to me. It’s no huge conspiracy. Not if I had known all along. But having it told to me after all that time had passed hurt terribly. It made me feel like I was the butt of a huge joke. The only one left out.

I have always had symptoms of bipolar disorder. Even at a young age but I believe what I described above is when symptoms started becoming more apparent and intrusive on life.

I diverged. Thanks for reading. It’s the first time I’ve actually written about this.

[Soupe du jour]

Jester'sRags (and all here) thanks for sharing on this topic. It has been quite interesting and I feel touched by the thoughtful responses

[Sunflower123]

I was a goody two shoes at home and at school. I was a high achieving, popular perfectionist from the word go. I started going in and out of depressions in 11th grade but I remained the same through college, my Masters and my CPA. Actually it was when I had a nervous breakdown at 32 that the facade crumbled and I couldn’t run anymore. Lots of shock for all involved. I often wonder if I was really ill or just driving myself too hard coupled with terrible traumas that I never resolved. Anyway, I was a good kid. Half the time I question my diagnosis.

[Crazy Hitch]

I was a nightmare of a teenager for my parents. Sneaking out the house, a boyfriend they didn’t approve of, wagging school, going out to places I shouldn’t have etc. And the attitude! Apparently everything I did was right and my parents had it all wrong!

[Daonnachd]

I didn't get off on causing problems for anyone, peer, parent, or professor. At the same time, I didn't give much thought to doing the right thing. I would say my youth was dominated by the phrase, "Gotta do more. Gotta be more." It was a bit of an obsession.

On the other hand, it is possible that all the memories of being a problem child were lost to ECT. Not likely, but it could happen.

[Mountaindewed]

I was non verbal until I was 4. Then I had a lot of behavior issues in school that were just swept under the rug by the teachers. Basically I should have been in therapy since I was in kindergarten. I have been told that the school district failed me. I don’t get why my parents didn’t see something was up as well. I had a lot of nervous tics and habits and school was just so hard. This has been a real sore spot for me lately. I always wonder what would have happened if I had gotten help at age 5 instead of 12. What my future would have looked like. And this was the early 2000’s not the 1960’s. Diagnosis and therapy were around.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

I was non verbal until I was 4. Then I had a lot of behavior issues in school that were just swept under the rug by the teachers. Basically I should have been in therapy since I was in kindergarten. I have been told that the school district failed me. I don’t get why my parents didn’t see something was up as well. I had a lot of nervous tics and habits and school was just so hard. This has been a real sore spot for me lately. I always wonder what would have happened if I had gotten help at age 5 instead of 12. What my future would have looked like. And this was the early 2000’s not the 1960’s. Diagnosis and therapy were around.

I don't blame you a bit if you feel angry and hurt about your parents and teachers not helping you. I grew up in the 70's when there really wasn't access to help for a kid who was severely depressed and anxious, unless the kid really acted out at school. But the era in which you grew up - you should have gotten help.


My daughter had serious anxiety issues while growing up in the 1990's and I had her in therapy during all of her growing up years. She was also on a med at age 11 because of her anxiety.

Why do you think they didn't help you?

[Mountaindewed]

I have no idea why they didn’t get me help. And my brother severely acted out in school and they didn’t help him either. I often want to bring it up to my mom and ask her about it but I think she feels pretty guilty about it.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

I have no idea why they didn’t get me help. And my brother severely acted out in school and they didn’t help him either. I often want to bring it up to my mom and ask her about it but I think she feels pretty guilty about it.

Maybe they felt overwhelmed, or afraid of being blamed. I think a lot of parents are afraid of being blamed. It's too bad.