[wolftrap]

I am new here, with no contact with others with MI, and there are so many things I want to ask and discuss. I guess I will begin with hallucinations. I don't know if this belongs in the bipolar section, but it's what I know right now.

FYI, I have bp1, anxiety disorder, ADHD, and some kind of personality disorder that we can't figure out.


In my past, I saw walls breath, floors ripple, and shining things out of the corner of my eye which disappeared when I turned my head.

Also, I had out of body experiences. I would be in a..I think euphoric state, floating above myself, seeing below me the panorama in which my body was participating. Usually, that meant lying down amidst a group of people who thought I was asleep. I would be in a meditative state with not much control over my body... I think, it's difficult to explain. I'm sorry, I really don't have the words.


Does this resonate with anyone?

[wolftrap]

...also anxiety disorder...

[*Beth*]

Welcome, and ask anything us about you have on your mind!

I experience severe anxiety that I believe is an aspect of bipolar disorder. Extreme anxiety is common with BD.

As for visual hallucinations, I don't think I've had them. I have delusions and audial/racing thoughts/sounds.

Out of body experiences, yes. I think that OofB is the same as dissociation - at least some form of it. I was doing a relaxing meditation today and had an OofB experience. I felt like my body relaxed and I just floated out and up, higher.

But I also experience derealisation...everything looks unreal. It's a horrible sensation and is almost surely related to how my brain processed childhood trauma.

[Crazy Hitch]

Hey there. I have BP1. I’ve experienced delusions as part of my psychosis. I’ve heard voices but more like voices in my head. It was as if someone was controlling my thoughts and making me say things. Sigh. I don’t feel normal on the best of days but for now I’m not manic I don’t hear voices and I don’t have delusions that someone is chasing me.

[Soupe du jour]

Hi wolftrap. Though there is no way for me to truly know what you experienced, most sound like hallucinations. As for the out of body experiences, what popped into my mind first was exactly what BethRags mentioned...dissociative hallucination. Out of body experiences are not uncommon at all in people who dissociate. I believe more common with dissociation than psychosis. I'm not saying the other experiences you mentioned weren't psychosis. Just that the out of body experiences may possibly have not been. And yet, I think there are some cases where people who are manic do experience dissociative symptoms. Concepts like "manic blackouts" are likely related to dissociation, I believe.

I have had a couple of out of body experiences in the past, but they weren't part of a mania/psychosis. I specifically remember not being full blown manic those times. I have also been full blown manic with psychotic hallucinations. At those times, my hallucinations were more like the other ones you described. Actually, most of my manic psychosis included delusions.

[wolftrap]

Thank you everyone for your input. I do now remember that my therapist and pdoc thought the out of body experiences were disassociation due to childhood trauma. My father was an abusive alcoholic. As I have been manic for long periods of time in the past, I don't know if the hallucinations were specifically associated with mania as I don't really have a bar for normality. However, it is clear that I was euphoric much of the time, so the hallucinations were most likely associated with these times.

Beth, I am going to look into derealisation. Soupe, thank you for sharing your knowledge and experience.


It is so good to hear from others who can understand and have insight.

Crazy Hitch, your experiences sound pretty scary. Thanks for sharing.

[*Beth*]

Try dpselfhelp.com, also Quora.

[wolftrap]

Thank you!

[fern46]

My experiences with hallucinations happened when I was in a mixed state and once when I was fairly calm. Neither experience was euphoric, but I was definitely detached from reality.

The first time it happened it was incredibly scary and traumatic. I watched someone disappear and reappear. I also left my body for portions of that first episode. I watched myself from above. Very strange. I blacked out as well.

During my second experience with mental health issue related hallucinations I saw a number of strange things happening in the sky. I wasn't afraid or euphoric. It felt exactly like I was in a dream.

The common threads between both episodes were psychosis and delusion.

I saw the walls breathe and the objects out of the corner of my eye once when I was young. College. Mushrooms.

[wolftrap]

Mushrooms Unfortunately, acid was part of my college experience. However, floors rippled long after that. It is interesting that you say you saw things in the sky. The most powerful hallucination I experienced was I was riding my bike in college through the country and suddenly the clouds opened and a shaft of light shined upon me, like the hand of god. It was profound and made me question my lack of spirituality. When I came to, I had fallen off of my bike into a ditch and didn't know where I was. Later in life, I came to realize that I had been in a manic/euphoric state.