[Bipolarchic14]

To the point first then I shall babble. I don’t think there’s too many people on here tonight but if there are people here that want to give me some advice I would greatly appreciate it. I want to ask my therapist her theory on what is causing my si and I also want to ask her what it feels like when I am having si. I have described it to her so often, It will give me some insight into how vested she is in me. I also want to ask her how she thinks mental illness has impacted my life. This is stemming from some invalidating statements she made last session.

I’ve had the same therapist for over six years. Over the years I’ve dealt with a lot of chronic suicidal issues. ( started about 8 years before I sought help. ) My therapist has offended me over the years, but she’s also helped me a great deal so I try not to hold it against her. She doesn’t really like to talk to me about my suicidal issues. She kind of hinted last year that she thought they were a cry for attention. Ouch! They’re not.

My experience in therapy, in iop and in inpatient treatment makes me question the legitimacy of the mental healthcare system. They don’t seem results focused. I don’t think they actually care if you get well they care more about the money it’s a business. Like when I was forced into the hospital last year they didn’t really have a treatment plan for me they just literally kept me there 8 days and charged my insurance. I can just imagine breaking your leg and going to your physician. And all they do every week is listen to you explain the agonizing pain you’re in from the fracture and then not doing anything about it. Then when you leave, saying God she b**ches a lot!

[Victoria'smom]

My goal is to get it so I'm doing a 6 month check in with pdoc and a 2-3 month check up with T. I think you really need to talk to your T about this and the things she has said to you. Even if my T thought it was for attention she wouldn't say that. This is a chronic illness so there will be times we need more and less help. So in a way they're not trying to heal us quickly and move on. Therapy is not meant to last forever for most problems but for ours, it's likely. Usually when I get suicidal they up my meds. My T has more hope now that I have a pdoc willing to heavily medicate me and regularly suggests the hospital. I'm not so sure about him.

[Bipolarchic14]

My issue is they’re not even trying to tackle the s.I. They literally are brushing it off as if I’m just making it up for them and obviously it’s not getting better because I’m not making it up it’s really there and They are not suggesting anything to make it go away. it’s a physical issue causing a mental one (I think anyway) I may actually talk to my physical doctor about it. I’m worried about it because I don’t want her (gp)to put me in the hospital. In regards to the hospital I wouldn’t even be opposed to it if I thought they had a plan where they were going to help me when I got there. I don’t have any faith they will be helpful.

[Victoria'smom]

I think you need to go in with a prepared statement. "I'm not willing to go IP but I'm having SI. I really think it's because of... I really need your help" I would Skip T and go right to pdoc.

[Bipolarchic14]

I have an appointment with Pdoc in about 7 hours. I shall talk to him about it and he may refer me to my general practitioner but we’ll see.

[*Beth*]

It seems to me that your therapist has indicated some odd things. I thought just about everybody knew by now that people don't have SI "to get attention."

I definitely believe you need to talk with your T about some accusations she's made and how it's affected you. Maybe one or the other of you are misunderstanding. It's important for both of you to be in sync. Otherwise there are bound to be misunderstandings. For example, if you want/need to discuss SI, she needs to make herself available to hear you.

[wolftrap]

Best of luck with your pdoc. I hope he understands where you are coming from.

[sarahsweets]

Hey @Bipolarchic14

Originally Posted by Bipolarchic14

To the point first then I shall babble. I don’t think there’s too many people on here tonight but if there are people here that want to give me some advice I would greatly appreciate it. I want to ask my therapist her theory on what is causing my si and I also want to ask her what it feels like when I am having si. I have described it to her so often, It will give me some insight into how vested she is in me. I also want to ask her how she thinks mental illness has impacted my life. This is stemming from some invalidating statements she made last session.

I’ve had the same therapist for over six years. Over the years I’ve dealt with a lot of chronic suicidal issues. ( started about 8 years before I sought help. ) My therapist has offended me over the years, but she’s also helped me a great deal so I try not to hold it against her. She doesn’t really like to talk to me about my suicidal issues. She kind of hinted last year that she thought they were a cry for attention. Ouch! They’re not.

This pisses me off when professionals or anyone says this. Of course it is a cry for help! The person is suicidal. Since when is someone who is suicidal not need help? How else would a suicidal person get help without sharing their struggles. The whole "cry for help" means youre not serious idea is BS. Its insensitive. With that said I do not feel you will get what you are looking for by asking the therapist what your SI feels like. It is your subjective experience. I think she may disappoint you with her insensitivity.

My experience in therapy, in iop and in inpatient treatment makes me question the legitimacy of the mental healthcare system. They don’t seem results focused. I don’t think they actually care if you get well they care more about the money it’s a business. Like when I was forced into the hospital last year they didn’t really have a treatment plan for me they just literally kept me there 8 days and charged my insurance. I can just imagine breaking your leg and going to your physician. And all they do every week is listen to you explain the agonizing pain you’re in from the fracture and then not doing anything about it. Then when you leave, saying God she b**ches a lot!

I hear you. I am cynical enough to believe that when it comes to expensive treatments like inpatient or IOP there could be an "err on the side of caution and grease the wheels" sort of situation. I think these people are bound legally to be mandatory reporters but again, its subjective and I think in all fairness it can be hard for even a good professional to always ascertain.
My daughter had to go to rehab and only since then watching these places swap owners and close up, only to reopen under new owners...or when she was in Florida and presented with "treatments' that she was told were medically necessary without verifying insurance costs or patients ability to pay. $40,000 later she is sober but we will be paying that for a long time.

[Bipolarchic14]

Omg sarahsweets, 40,000 out of pocket?!?! I would inquire about assistance with that or file bankruptcy. Holy Cow. I am glad she is doing better.