[*Beth*]

My best friend of 53 years has had a heart attack. She's in San Antonio. Her daughter told me C. will be having a "procedure" so I hope I find out soon what that involves. I'm worried sick, and when I get worried I tend to get cranky.

I respectfully declined engaging in a debate on another board. Certainly not what I come to the forum for.

[wildflowerchild25]

My fiancé’s boss tested positive. The boss he works with in close contact all day long. They don’t wear masks because they work on trucks and other equipment. It’s almost a guarantee that he will test positive. I mean, maybe not, but it could be. I have a fifty fifty shot as I’ve had the first vaccine. My son could get it too but it will be hard to tell because of his sinus problems. The congestion already causes him to be nauseous quite often because of the drainage. He does have a cough now though coming from his chest so I’m nervous. I’ve been nauseous all day but that happens from vertigo. And RS feels fine. So maybe we will escape it. I hope so!

Termite inspection went well, the person said there’s no active infestation just the previous damage. Said they could fix it for $1k. We’ll ask the sellers and see what they say.

I had another anxiety response to RS touching me last night. Just cuddling. It’s getting worse. It’s like a damn game of mental health whack a mole. One issue gets squashed, another pops up. I couldn’t sleep for hours even after taking seroquel and Xanax. I had to take extra Xanax and seroquel at like 1am. I never would have done that on a weekday, I function better on less sleep than with a med hangover, but I thought I could sleep in. But I got a phone call at 8:15am and couldn’t go back to sleep knowing I had to be up anyway. I did take a nap later though which I haven’t done in a long time.

I think if I initiate intimacy such as cuddling on my own it won’t be so anxiety inducing because I’ll be in control and it won’t feel like a prelude to something unwanted.

[MuddyBoots]

I hope your best friend is okay and that the procedure does its job, Beth

[bizi]

Originally Posted by BethRags

My best friend of 53 years has had a heart attack. She's in San Antonio. Her daughter told me C. will be having a "procedure" so I hope I find out soon what that involves. I'm worried sick, and when I get worried I tend to get cranky.

I respectfully declined engaging in a debate on another board. Certainly not what I come to the forum for.

I am so sorry that your best friend has had a heart attack.
keep us updated.
bizi

[Moose72]

Not feeling particularly happy today. I got up and got a Tim Hortons coffee and came home and sat for about 45 minutes watching the boob tube. Then I left for my mammogram. That went well. Won't know the results for several days. Oh yeah and when I got back from this appointment, I did laundry but I forgot to wash my bras! Ugh! I don't want to spend $2 to just wash them. I hang them to dry sometimes and this would save me a few dollars. I've been reading Touched With Fire and all the old quotes are interesting but it is a little triggering. It reminds me of a song I have a recording of that goes "O death! O death rock me asleep!" What is the point of this book- to show how artists have a bigger affinity toward depression and mania? Why does she need 260 pages plus appendices to explain how it feels to be depressed and manic? That famous artists throughout history have written as much is fascinating but maybe not worth almost 300 pages- with appendices? I myself have always been creative and emotional but I thought that's just how my family is.

[Moose72]

Beth, sorry to hear about your friend. I hope things get better and that the procedure goes well.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Moose72

Not feeling particularly happy today. I got up and got a Tim Hortons coffee and came home and sat for about 45 minutes watching the boob tube. Then I left for my mammogram. That went well. Won't know the results for several days. Oh yeah and when I got back from this appointment, I did laundry but I forgot to wash my bras! Ugh! I don't want to spend $2 to just wash them. I hang them to dry sometimes and this would save me a few dollars. I've been reading Touched With Fire and all the old quotes are interesting but it is a little triggering. It reminds me of a song I have a recording of that goes "O death! O death rock me asleep!" What is the point of this book- to show how artists have a bigger affinity toward depression and mania? Why does she need 260 pages plus appendices to explain how it feels to be depressed and manic? That famous artists throughout history have written as much is fascinating but maybe not worth almost 300 pages- with appendices? I myself have always been creative and emotional but I thought that's just how my family is.

I get so annoyed when I do the laundry and forget to wash something.

I haven't read Touched With Fire for so many years. I remember liking it when I read it - I wonder if I would now? I was a lot younger and nicer back then. I will reread it.

My family is creative and emotional, too. And they all have some degree of mental illness . I fit right in.

[Mountaindewed]

I read 2 books today. Over 200 pages each. I haven’t read 2 books in one day since I was 12. They were pretty triggering. They were young adult books but one was called Butter and it was about this very obese teen who decides to eat himself to death on a live web stream. The second book was called Wintergirls and it was about these 2 girls with eating disorders competing to see who can be the skinniest. These young adult books have more intense plotlines and have worse language then the books they have out for adults. I think the only thing worse then Butter that I’ve read recently was American Psycho.

But my anxiety and boredom and depression was ok for the first time in weeks because I was so involved in reading all day.

So sorry to hear about your best friend, Beth. I hope things go smoothly.

[Innerzone]

You and your friend are in my thoughts, Beth.

[Soupe du jour]

@BethRags, I'm sorry to read that your friend had a heart attack. I wish her the very best with her procedure. The good thing is that doctors seem to do a much better job than in the past helping people with heart issues. T

@wildflowerchild25, I sure hope that you and your fiance don't catch covid from his boss. At least you know to look for symptoms, but I can imagine how it could be anxiety-provoking. Best wishes that you both avoid it.

@Moose72. I had to laugh when I read "boob tube". My dad used to always refer to the TV that way. Brings back nice memories. Plus, I loved how you went on to write about bras and a mammogram afterwards. Great story linkages!

[Soupe du jour]

I was so sick and tired of being cooped up in my s-i-l's house that I had to get outside. No one would go with me, so I went myself. It had been snowing huge flakes right before. That tempted me. On the snowy lawn were animal tracks. They seem to have many martens (a type of animal - see DK Find Out! | Fun Facts for Kids on Animals, Earth, History and more!) here, almost to the point of over population. They are bigger than raccoons. I'm not sure if/where such animals dwell in the US. Definitely none in New Jersey.

My husband doesn't want to go to our new home until Wednesday or Thursday. Ugh! I wish we could go tomorrow. Attached is a photo of my s-i-l's house with our little blue car in front.

[MuddyBoots]

It'll be a miracle if I can get through the day without flipping out.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

Here's a link to the new thread:

Bipolar Check-In Thread #54