[VerMOZZica]

I've been off the Rexulti for a while now because my health plan won`t cover it anymore. I don`t think I want it anymore just so they can take it away again and I have to go through withdrawals again. I give up on that. I have had trouble sleeping lately . I think it`s because a change in meds and different doses of other meds . Maybe it`s that or it`s just me. I don`t know. I `m kind of down right now.

[Innerzone]

Originally Posted by VerMOZZica

I've been off the Rexulti for a while now because my health plan won`t cover it anymore. I don`t think I want it anymore just so they can take it away again and I have to go through withdrawals again. I give up on that. I have had trouble sleeping lately . I think it`s because a change in meds and different doses of other meds . Maybe it`s that or it`s just me. I don`t know. I `m kind of down right now.

I hope you get to feeling better soon, VerMOZZica!
It's so frustrating when insurance companies are driving what we can have.

I walked my dog with my one close neighbor. Her dog has turned one and he is a lot calmer, just as i hoped. It was nice to have the company. I played lots of Scrabble today. I wish i had someone to talk to about it. My one Scrabble pal and i text each other our big plays but that's about it. I watched "The Queen's Gambit" which is about tournament Chess last weekend on Netflix and that gave me some excitement about tournament Scrabble. Excellent show.

My sleep is shot to $h!t. I was up til 6:00AM yesterday, then woke up before noon and drowsed for several hours. I feel like a vampire.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by VerMOZZica

I've been off the Rexulti for a while now because my health plan won`t cover it anymore. I don`t think I want it anymore just so they can take it away again and I have to go through withdrawals again. I give up on that. I have had trouble sleeping lately . I think it`s because a change in meds and different doses of other meds . Maybe it`s that or it`s just me. I don`t know. I `m kind of down right now.

Usually a health plan will cover a med they've stated they won't cover if your pdoc either does a "TAR" or faxes the insurance company a form explaining to them why you need the medication.

[Soupe du jour]

My husband still needs to finish packing his stuff. As usual, I've been ready for a while. We'll stay at his best friend's house again for two nights, then off towards the airport.

Today I see my dad, through glass with us talking through cell phones. Then we go to a restaurant to meet my sister and nephew. My brother will meet us in the restaurant parking lot right before. He does not wish to join lunch because he says he might have been exposed to covid. What sad ways to have to say goodbye! The reason I am not going to my sister's or brother's houses is because Sis lives in a near hoarding house (her husband and son's doing). My brother keeps our Dad's house very messy, too. I'm the only one who keeps a clean house, but living in a hotel lately doesn't make for a pleasant meeting location.

My family and I plan to communicate in the future mostly through WhatsApp. At least that exists. Strangely, we may end up communicating with each other more often because of it.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

My husband still needs to finish packing his stuff. As usual, I've been ready for a while. We'll stay at his best friend's house again for two nights, then off towards the airport.

Today I see my dad, through glass with us talking through cell phones. Then we go to a restaurant to meet my sister and nephew. My brother will meet us in the restaurant parking lot right before. He does not wish to join lunch because he says he might have been exposed to covid. What sad ways to have to say goodbye! The reason I am not going to my sister's or brother's houses is because Sis lives in a near hoarding house (her husband and son's doing). My brother keeps our Dad's house very messy, too. I'm the only one who keeps a clean house, but living in a hotel lately doesn't make for a pleasant meeting location.

My family and I plan to communicate in the future mostly through WhatsApp. At least that exists. Strangely, we may end up communicating with each other more often because of it.

I hope the visits go smoothly and peacefully, Soupe.

[MuddyBoots]

Big plans this week! Pics to come if it's good, no pics if it's great!

[Soupe du jour]

Beth, unfortunately my visits with my family today were utterly depressing. I would have had a better visit with my father if he was in a literal prison. I had to stand outside a window to talk to him. The facility didn't even have the heart to remove the screen, so it was hard to even see him. Talking by cell phone caused echoes. Then we tried to simply scream to hear through the glass. My dad was so severely nervous and upset that he was on the verge of tears. I just felt sick to my stomach. He asked me when I would visit the US, and I had to be vague. Honestly, I don't want to for at least a year. If something happens to him this year (he's almost 79) today could be the last time... and with no hug. Just a blown kiss through a screened locked/closed window.

My brother would only meet outside a restaurant to talk because he was exposed to people with covid. My sister and nephew met us in the restaurant, but it was awkward and sad.

My husband's friend begged us to return to his house to stay two more nights. We gave in, but I regret it. I wish we stayed at the hotel.

I feel so sick now that I asked my husband to give an excuse for me to skip dinner and stay in the guest room. I'm depressed about the day, just got bad menstrual cramps, and was outside in the cold so much today that I feel it affected my kidneys (I have kidney damage). Even when we got to his friend's house his friend insisted we take a walk. I tried to refuse, but gave in because it seemed rude to. His friend's wife had a jaw procedure. I can't imagine she truly wants us here, but their insistence was so extreme they made it hard to refuse.

Their house is so reeking of garlic that it worsens my stomach upset and tortures my husband who is allergic to that ingredient. I am not, but never having garlic, the scent is almost toxic. Plus, she must have used 10 cloves and burnt it, to boot. I'm irritable, to be sure, but if you know a person is allergic to such a thing, why would you welcome them with enough of its stench to seep in through your skin, like via osmosis. It is in the whole house, and they have a huge one.

[bizi]

Soup, your husbands friend knew about the allergy to garlic and cooked with it anyway????? and burned it no less!!!!!!
poor people are you to suffer thru that and to force a walk when you don't feel well.
grr.
bizi

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

Beth, unfortunately my visits with my family today were utterly depressing. I would have had a better visit with my father if he was in a literal prison. I had to stand outside a window to talk to him. The facility didn't even have the heart to remove the screen, so it was hard to even see him. Talking by cell phone caused echoes. Then we tried to simply scream to hear through the glass. My dad was so severely nervous and upset that he was on the verge of tears. I just felt sick to my stomach. He asked me when I would visit the US, and I had to be vague. Honestly, I don't want to for at least a year. If something happens to him this year (he's almost 79) today could be the last time... and with no hug. Just a blown kiss through a screened locked/closed window.

Oh, God. That sounds awful. Heartbreaking. I had such high hopes for a wonderful visit for you and your father. I'm so sorry, Soupe.

My brother would only meet outside a restaurant to talk because he was exposed to people with covid. My sister and nephew met us in the restaurant, but it was awkward and sad.

*sigh* Yes. I imagine it was.

My husband's friend begged us to return to his house to stay two more nights. We gave in, but I regret it. I wish we stayed at the hotel.

I would feel the same way.

I feel so sick now that I asked my husband to give an excuse for me to skip dinner and stay in the guest room. I'm depressed about the day, just got bad menstrual cramps, and was outside in the cold so much today that I feel it affected my kidneys (I have kidney damage). Even when we got to his friend's house his friend insisted we take a walk. I tried to refuse, but gave in because it seemed rude to. His friend's wife had a jaw procedure. I can't imagine she truly wants us here, but their insistence was so extreme they made it hard to refuse.

Any chance you can back out of the 2 nights - or at least tomorrow night? Kidney issues would be a valid reason...

Their house is so reeking of garlic that it worsens my stomach upset and tortures my husband who is allergic to that ingredient. I am not, but never having garlic, the scent is almost toxic. Plus, she must have used 10 cloves and burnt it, to boot. I'm irritable, to be sure, but if you know a person is allergic to such a thing, why would you welcome them with enough of its stench to seep in through your skin, like via osmosis. It is in the whole house, and they have a huge one.

Oh, no! The garlic people again?! Uggghhhh. Soupe, you're under a monstrous amount of stress and pressure. I wish you didn't have to spend your last night having to socialize. AND put up with the garlicky environment, you know? It would be optimal if you board that plane well-rested and well-fed without an upset system.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[*Beth*]

Immensely pissed off at my husband and trying really hard not to start a nasty argument. I'm always thinking of him, his needs - and so is he.

The weather is absolutely ridiculous. 74 degrees today! This type of false spring often occurs in mid-February, but in mid-January? Craziness.

Angry at the madness in this country, fed up to my ears with all the BS. Be really nice if more adult Americans would grow up and leave playground habits in the past.

[Innerzone]

Yeah, my anxiety is through the roof. All.day.long. Day after day after day. I'm finding myself exhausted by its unrelenting nature. Also, looking to move. Not entirely unrelated, though more of a propellant to action than the cause of it.

Anxiety. Anxiety. Anxiety. Anxiety. Anxiety. That's what's up with me. And I've got to tell my current landlady in just a little while (need to eat first). So throw that on the anxiety heap...

Hugs, my peeps.

P.S. I have been listening to that 10 hour ad-free rain YouTube A LOT.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Innerzone

Yeah, my anxiety is through the roof. All.day.long. Day after day after day. I'm finding myself exhausted by its unrelenting nature. Also, looking to move. Not entirely unrelated, though more of a propellant to action than the cause of it.

Anxiety. Anxiety. Anxiety. Anxiety. Anxiety. That's what's up with me. And I've got to tell my current landlady in just a little while (need to eat first). So throw that on the anxiety heap...

Hugs, my peeps.

P.S. I have been listening to that 10 hour ad-free rain YouTube A LOT.

Ugh, I'm so sorry. Anxiety is the worst.

Bored and irritable. An old friend posted a tribute to husbands on Facebook. I just thought it was insensitive since i'm divorced and alone. She didn't need to send it to me! Also, she talked my ear off one time before they were married about how he was always after her for money. He didn't sound like such a catch then. Really frustrated. I clicked the "angry reaction icon" so hopefully she will respond. Or at the very least she'll know i'm offended.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by whatever2013

Bored and irritable. An old friend posted a tribute to husbands on Facebook. I just thought it was insensitive since i'm divorced and alone. She didn't need to send it to me! Also, she talked my ear off one time before they were married about how he was always after her for money. He didn't sound like such a catch then. Really frustrated. I clicked the "angry reaction icon" so hopefully she will respond. Or at the very least she'll know i'm offended.

I think that's insensitive, too.

[Soupe du jour]

Originally Posted by bizi

Soup, your husbands friend knew about the allergy to garlic and cooked with it anyway????? and burned it no less!!!!!!
poor people are you to suffer thru that and to force a walk when you don't feel well.
grr.
bizi

Yes, though they do give him something without garlic, but basically what they eat without it. However, the house reeks. Even now, the morning after.

I know many people are obsessed with garlic, but it isn't mandatory for life to have every day!

[Soupe du jour]

I'm starting to really feel the stress of the upcoming move. Feelings of mild depression, anxiety (I took an Ativan), anger/irritability/frustration, and discomfort of expectations as a guest at Hubby's friend's house. Of course they mean well, but it was a bad decision to leave the hotel. Anyway, we will make this last day work. Tomorrow we leave for the airport hotel.

Hubby and I both just had rapid covid tests. Mine is negative. Hubby had to go back in because his was invalid. Second try predictably was negative. Basically, I had more nasal mucus than him, so mine was easier.

[yellow_fleurs]

My mood was pretty low last night, but this morning it's a bit better. No motivation to do anything, though. Yet, I am not so depressed that I am super tired and so I feel like I should be able to. I left a message for my psychiatrist that I think maybe it better I just stop this gabapentin, but now I feel I should not have done that. I can't even tell if I am depressed for real or not. I have felt way worse, so I am not sure if maybe I am being a bit dramatic or something. I need to get myself up and just start doing stuff anyways even if I don't want to. I get to see my partner's dog in less than a week, in good news. It's been months and I have missed her

[wildflowerchild25]

I have thankfully moved on from my initial fury at my grandmother’s request to essentially take care of my mom’s house for her. I have decided I will address the plumbing issue as that could lead to a more serious issue such as mold but I am stepping back after that. If asked why I will be honest with my grandma. There’s just too much wrong from years of neglect that if my mom isn’t planning on moving there’s no reason to do anything. Especially because if we did, and trust me it would be tens of thousands of dollars to fix all the damage, she would just neglect it again and it would all be for naught. So if there is a dangerous issue I will help but everything else is out of my hands.

In all honesty the best thing to do is for my mom to rent an apartment in an apartment complex and sell the house to one of those companies that buys houses for cash. Let someone else deal with flipping it. It’s actually a nice sized house in a desirable neighborhood so if someone wanted to take on the chore of completely renovating they could get a pretty penny. But I’m certainly not going to be the one to cajole my mom into parting with her precious possessions (literal junk). And I’m also not going to convince her to move. She’s mentioned it but I know she won’t. She gets paralyzed by changes and decisions. She can’t even manage to pay her bills on time or get regular car maintenance. Her car has been out of inspection for eight months. Her car was out of registration for eight months as well and it wasn’t until she realized if she got pulled over she could have her car impounded that she actually did anything. And even then I had to make the appointment for her, AND I had to find somewhere other than the nearby city because she’s scared of it. It’s ridiculous.

Anyway. The house we're-trying to get was inspected and there were easily fixable electrical issues. But there was also termite damage. I know the sellers know about it because they put in our contract that they would only pay for $750 of repairs. But fortunately the inspector said it was relatively minor and shouldn’t cost too much to fix anyway. Just a matter of reinforcing some floor beams. I had a dream that the sale fell through because of it. I won’t relax until we close (if we do). I’m not allowing myself to think too much about decorating ideas or anything like that. There’s another house that just went up for sale near my son’s school too but I’m very leery of that one. Only 190k for a three bedroom, two bath house? And no inside pictures? Sounds suspicious to me. Especially for the neighborhood.

[Amethyst_Stargazer]

I'm having a lot of anxiety at the moment, I think it's because I'm not getting a decent amount of sleep at night and I tend to stay up late. My medication is helping me though and my depression is better which I'm happy about because I was crying for the last week or so. So my moods have been pretty much stable, except for me staying up late which isn't helping me too much. I need to shift my sleeping schedule around.