[*Beth*]

#52 was at page 100, so here's our new check-in thread!

[Nammu]

Thanks Beth!

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Nammu

Thanks Beth!

You're most welcome! I was the last person at 100 pages twice . We go through 100 pages in nothing flat!

[Mountaindewed]

This is the fastest my mood has ever dipped from a shot. And I feel bad physically now. I’m just lying in bed really depressed. I felt fine Saturday afternoon- early this morning. And then a few hours after the shot and I am totally down, and anxious about the out patient program unlike before when I was really upbeat about it. and I’m just lying in bed. This transition is really doing a number on me but I’m glad I’m doing it. I just wish I knew why it’s been so bad lately.

[Bipolarchic14]

What kind of shot Mountaindewed and have you tried this years Christmas Mountain Dew?

[Mountaindewed]

Originally Posted by Bipolarchic14

What kind of shot Mountaindewed and have you tried this years Christmas Mountain Dew?

It’s a testosterone shot. I’m fTm.

I have tried the Christmas Mountain Dew. Do you like it? I’m looking forward to the watermelon flavor coming next month.

[Bipolarchic14]

It was ok I can take it or leave it.

[Moose72]

Watching "The Feed" on Amazon Prime. I just brought my clean laundry up from the laundry room. Time to fold and put away! I did my sheets too. Those will be fresh for tonight. I had a lot of dreams since I slept in. In one, I was with my ex husband and he bought a new car and it was very nice. We went for a ride in it and it could drive on top of the water! In another dream, I was at my grandparents' house that they built back in the 70's. (They've since moved out and both have died a number of years back, now.) Anyway I was at that house and there was a pool indoors. Nice room for the pool, too. Square. Nice stone floor. Plants. I wanted to get in, but couldn't find my suit. (In reality I don't have one.) I got in the fridge and stole someone's half of a sub from Subway. It's going to be dark here in about half an hour. I can see the sunset over the top of the apartment building across the parking lot here. I sent my judo sensei, whom I chat with sometimes on facebook messenger, a picture of bones on a plate with barbeque sauce squirted on the plate and a santa hat- with a note : "Thanks for the elf. It was delicious!" I thought this was funny. My judo sensei said it was creepy. I guess I'm creepy then. He said, "I know its not a real elf, but it's still creepy". I said "It's just bones on a plate with barbeque sauce". Oh well. I thought it was amusing.

Speaking of sugar and being hungry,, now it's been 3 hours since I ate last and I want to make a hamburger for dinner. I guess I'll wait. I feel like I'm gaining weight. Haven't confirmed this with the scale, though.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by Moose72

Watching "The Feed" on Amazon Prime. I just brought my clean laundry up from the laundry room. Time to fold and put away! I did my sheets too. Those will be fresh for tonight. I had a lot of dreams since I slept in. In one, I was with my ex husband and he bought a new car and it was very nice. We went for a ride in it and it could drive on top of the water! In another dream, I was at my grandparents' house that they built back in the 70's. (They've since moved out and both have died a number of years back, now.) Anyway I was at that house and there was a pool indoors. Nice room for the pool, too. Square. Nice stone floor. Plants. I wanted to get in, but couldn't find my suit. (In reality I don't have one.) I got in the fridge and stole someone's half of a sub from Subway. It's going to be dark here in about half an hour. I can see the sunset over the top of the apartment building across the parking lot here. I sent my judo sensei, whom I chat with sometimes on facebook messenger, a picture of bones on a plate with barbeque sauce squirted on the plate and a santa hat- with a note : "Thanks for the elf. It was delicious!" I thought this was funny. My judo sensei said it was creepy. I guess I'm creepy then. He said, "I know its not a real elf, but it's still creepy". I said "It's just bones on a plate with barbeque sauce". Oh well. I thought it was amusing.

Speaking of sugar and being hungry,, now it's been 3 hours since I ate last and I want to make a hamburger for dinner. I guess I'll wait. I feel like I'm gaining weight. Haven't confirmed this with the scale, though.

I’ve got Amazon Prime but haven’t watched anything. Do you watch it on your phone, computer or television? I hear there are some good things on Prime.

[Nammu]

Is prime closed captioned? I got notice it was a free service but I don’t want to mess around with it and find out I can’t watch it anyway

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Moose72

Watching "The Feed" on Amazon Prime. I just brought my clean laundry up from the laundry room. Time to fold and put away! I did my sheets too. Those will be fresh for tonight. I had a lot of dreams since I slept in. In one, I was with my ex husband and he bought a new car and it was very nice. We went for a ride in it and it could drive on top of the water! In another dream, I was at my grandparents' house that they built back in the 70's. (They've since moved out and both have died a number of years back, now.) Anyway I was at that house and there was a pool indoors. Nice room for the pool, too. Square. Nice stone floor. Plants. I wanted to get in, but couldn't find my suit. (In reality I don't have one.) I got in the fridge and stole someone's half of a sub from Subway. It's going to be dark here in about half an hour. I can see the sunset over the top of the apartment building across the parking lot here. I sent my judo sensei, whom I chat with sometimes on facebook messenger, a picture of bones on a plate with barbeque sauce squirted on the plate and a santa hat- with a note : "Thanks for the elf. It was delicious!" I thought this was funny. My judo sensei said it was creepy. I guess I'm creepy then. He said, "I know its not a real elf, but it's still creepy". I said "It's just bones on a plate with barbeque sauce". Oh well. I thought it was amusing.

Speaking of sugar and being hungry,, now it's been 3 hours since I ate last and I want to make a hamburger for dinner. I guess I'll wait. I feel like I'm gaining weight. Haven't confirmed this with the scale, though.

I think it's funny

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by Nammu

Is prime closed captioned? I got notice it was a free service but I don’t want to mess around with it and find out I can’t watch it anyway

Y.es, it is. At least in my settings, it plays automatically

[Nammu]

Thanks moose, maybe I’ll check it out tonight.

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by BethRags

I think it's funny

Here you go. This is the picture.

[Daonnachd]

I had ECT this morning. My sons and their friend who's living with us drove me. That made it fun. My pdoc responsible for the ECT really liked the idea of sharing the article I wrote but she didn't read it while I was still there. Now I'm home and my head hurts tremendously . I want to go back to bed but if I do I won't sleep tonight.

[Moose72]

@BethRags Another one of my friends said it's "gross". Why is an imaginary creature 'gross" when in actuality it's chicken bones and barbeque sauce and people eat chicken all the time! I don't see why it's gross. It's not a human, though, it is human-like I guess.

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by Daonnachd

I had ECT this morning. My sons and their friend who's living with us drove me. That made it fun. My pdoc responsible for the ECT really liked the idea of sharing the article I wrote but she didn't read it while I was still there. Now I'm home and my head hurts tremendously . I want to go back to bed but if I do I won't sleep tonight.

Sometimes sleeping is the best medicine- especially for headaches/migraines. But I understand not wanting to then wake up at 2:30 a.m. not able to get back to sleep.

[Mountaindewed]

I am a complete physical and mental mess. I was filling out paperwork for 2 hours for the outpatient program and I was freaking out because I couldn’t fill it out right, and I kept screwing up the dates and then I had to send them through email which involved taking a lot of pictures. I can’t walk in a straight line and I’m shaking and sweating really badly. My stomach is on fire because of the eggs and English muffin I had at 11 like I don’t know if the eggs went bad but I feel like they did something to me. But I am just such a mess. My hair is a frazzled mess from running my fingers through it out of frustration. I feel like I should see a neurologist based on this change in physical and mental behavior. I can’t talk to my therapist and I’m in bed right now still shaking and feeling sick. Even my mouth has a tremor.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

My family member Mark is in the last phases of life. He probably has days to maybe weeks left. Christmas is a long shot and if he makes it that long it doesn't seem likely he'll be alert. He's already sleeping most of the day. I spent 3 hours Saturday and Sunday with him, just sitting on the couch reading because he is scared if he wakes up alone. Hospice is coming in now. He has a hospital bed which I think it a great thing for him. He also has pain medication that I wish he'd had months ago. It makes his breathing easier and obviously relieves his pain. So far it's pretty peaceful.

It's also really hard. I was up all night last night just thinking about what is happening. I cried through my therapy appointment. I feel so bad for my therapist; he lost his father a year ago and now is stuck trying to help me through losing mine (not biological). I know it has to be hard.

I'm still waiting for my breast center appointment. It's obnoxious; they sent a letter the day after my follow-up mammogram and ultrasound about how important follow-up was and that ignoring it could be dangerous and then they make it so I can't follow-up. I've contacted my family doctor and asked if I can do anything to try to get the process going. I just want to have this over. It's probably fine but it's scary and I want it over with.

So I'm tired and stressed and sad. My sweet Abbycat isn't leaving my side. She stayed awake most of the night with me and is now snuggled up to my knee, just in case I need her. I do, right where she is and right now.

Tomorrow is another day with Mark and my book. I may try to fill out Christmas cards there tomorrow if I can figure out a way to write neatly (as neatly as I write that is) while on the couch.

This is so hard.

[yellow_fleurs]

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

I am a complete physical and mental mess. I was filling out paperwork for 2 hours for the outpatient program and I was freaking out because I couldn’t fill it out right, and I kept screwing up the dates and then I had to send them through email which involved taking a lot of pictures. I can’t walk in a straight line and I’m shaking and sweating really badly. My stomach is on fire because of the eggs and English muffin I had at 11 like I don’t know if the eggs went bad but I feel like they did something to me. But I am just such a mess. My hair is a frazzled mess from running my fingers through it out of frustration. I feel like I should see a neurologist based on this change in physical and mental behavior. I can’t talk to my therapist and I’m in bed right now still shaking and feeling sick. Even my mouth has a tremor.

I am sorry, this sounds awful to feel like that. I saw your other post about the shot making you feel worse. Have you discussed that with your doctor at all?