[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by TunedOut

For some of us, I think it is good self care to limit how much time we spend on this forum but I appreciate all the supportive people at PC! Additionally, for me, sometimes I feel like I have to be careful about posting because I have days where I feel like I am not as helpful/insightful, as in, I miss some of the finer points a poster is trying to convey--if that makes sense?

Being insightful isn't always necessary. It's just the support that means most, I think.

[bizi]

I especially like to think that when some one likes my post I feel that they have read what I wrote.Hugs and thanks are just as important to me as are written notes. So I thank you all for reading along with my thread!!!!!!
bizi

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by bizi

I especially like to think that when some one likes my post I feel that they have read what I wrote.Hugs and thanks are just as important to me as are written notes. So I thank you all for reading along with my thread!!!!!!
bizi

I agree. I know that some days, we can only manage a hug or a like - and that means so much to me.

[bizi]

Thank you ~Christina and Beth
bizi

[bizi]

I was in a near miss accident yesterday. I vow to not drink and drive.
bizi

[buddha1too]

Originally Posted by bizi

I was in a near miss accident yesterday. I vow to not drink and drive.
bizi

Yikes, bizi! As you know, I'm in recovery & still attend AA meetings. Momentarily setting aside the possibility you can kill someone else, yourself, or both (VERY serious considerations), do you realize the financial & legal ramifications of getting a DUI?

All it takes to be declared legally impaired in most states is four beers (0.08 blood alcohol level). You're talking about thousands of dollars in fines, lawyer fees, probation costs, increased car insurance rates, having to pay for urine drops; not to mention license suspensions or revocations, or even jail time. There are countless people who get "sentenced" to attend AA, so I constantly hear these horror stories at meetings. The legal system doesn't play around these days.

Please know I'm not judging you & don't mean to lecture (though it must seem like I am)...I'm just reflecting what I see & hear all the time. You're a good person, & I'd hate to see you suffer the consequences of getting behind the wheel after tipping a few. I'm afriad for you, bizi...You've acknowledged in the past that you have a problem. I sincerely hope your vow not to drink & drive sticks. When I was active in my addiction, though, my promises often went by the wayside...I hope your experience is different.

[bizi]

Originally Posted by buddha1too

Yikes, bizi! As you know, I'm in recovery & still attend AA meetings. Momentarily setting aside the possibility you can kill someone else, yourself, or both (VERY serious considerations), do you realize the financial & legal ramifications of getting a DUI?

All it takes to be declared legally impaired in most states is four beers (0.08 blood alcohol level). You're talking about thousands of dollars in fines, lawyer fees, probation costs, increased car insurance rates, having to pay for urine drops; not to mention license suspensions or revocations, or even jail time. There are countless people who get "sentenced" to attend AA, so I constantly hear these horror stories at meetings. The legal system doesn't play around these days.

Please know I'm not judging you & don't mean to lecture (though it must seem like I am)...I'm just reflecting what I see & hear all the time. You're a good person, & I'd hate to see you suffer the consequences of getting behind the wheel after tipping a few. I'm afriad for you, bizi...You've acknowledged in the past that you have a problem. I sincerely hope your vow not to drink & drive sticks. When I was active in my addiction, though, my promises often went by the wayside...I hope your experience is different.

thank you I have attended a few AA meetings, I like the meditation one.I forget what night this is I do have a friend to ask. She is big into AA. Carol is her name and she is 78 with some mild dementia. She was my sponsor for a bit. now we don't see each other, she is kind of abrasive.

thanks for your kind reminders of the the DUI ramifications, I would lose my nursing license too and my job as it involves driving here ans there.
bizi

[buddha1too]

I hope I didn't come off as a self-righteous AA member. Those types really get under my skin! I follow a rule that states, "Take what you need, & leave the rest." There are many things & many people in AA that aren't to my liking; AA been helpful in my case, though. I don't pretend that AA is the answer for everyone...because it's not. There are different groups:

AA Alternatives: 25 Sober Communities Beyond Alcoholics Anonymous

There are other methods of stopping, too (a drug called Antabuse) which might help you get over the hump if you think you need help. I'd start by discussing things with your therapist or pdoc to figure out what might work for you. Hell! Some people are even able to quit on their own! Whatever happens, I want you to stay safe, bizi. Good thoughts sent your way...

[Victoria'smom]

Bizi stay safe.

[*Beth*]

Oh, bizi. Thank the universe you're okay.

[bizi]

Originally Posted by buddha1too

I hope I didn't come off as a self-righteous AA member. Those types really get under my skin! I follow a rule that states, "Take what you need, & leave the rest." There are many things & many people in AA that aren't to my liking; AA been helpful in my case, though. I don't pretend that AA is the answer for everyone...because it's not. There are different groups:

AA Alternatives: 25 Sober Communities Beyond Alcoholics Anonymous

There are other methods of stopping, too (a drug called Antabuse) which might help you get over the hump if you think you need help. I'd start by discussing things with your therapist or pdoc to figure out what might work for you. Hell! Some people are even able to quit on their own! Whatever happens, I want you to stay safe, bizi. Good thoughts sent your way...

Thank you bhudda,MM,and beth, your support is invaluable.
bizi

[*Beth*]

BIG hug~

[bizi]

beth you are such a nice person!
bizi

[*Beth*]

[bizi]

jeff has been practicing piano pieces he bought a new keyboard and loves it he has been playing
a lot of his own original music. It has been nice to hear him play.
He will sing sometimes when I am not in the room.

I have been having bms of medium size almost daily at different times.
I take the gummie fiber squares 2 at bed time I take 2 sennas and

2 colace twice a day then the new capsules 3 of those at noon.
so far I am ok with this dosings, not sure though, I had to strain really hard today.
sigh
I need to get more fluids in me.
I saw 5 people today.
so that was good.
I have to get to bed earlier..I have to wash my hair tomorrow, it looks terrible.
Jeff joined me at fat pats for a gin and tonic I had summer shady. It was good.
We ended up eating there. I had a pile high pulled pork nachos. I have always

wondered what they would be like. I ate a few chips that were soggy and used

a fork to pick out the good stuff and ate it that way.There was a plate full of soggy chips

when I was finished eating the good stuff.

I called my tdoc to make an appointment with her and I will see her on the 26th at 9am.
I am feeling a bit depressed which is unlike me. Every day is a struggle to get up.
and I think about being able to go to bed as soon as possible. I am depressed with my life.

I am close to highest weight ever....I am sick of my self.
I try to make decisions about eating then
next thing I am eating nachos!!!!
sigh.
I am going to go to bed now, get ready for bed it takes me 30 minutes if I do all
that I should be doing face care.
I have been wearing a bite guard and it is going ok with it, I can now wear it most of the night.
bizi

[TunedOut]

Originally Posted by bizi

I am feeling a bit depressed which is unlike me. Every day is a struggle to get up.
and I think about being able to go to bed as soon as possible. I am depressed with my life.

I am close to highest weight ever....I am sick of my self.
I try to make decisions about eating then
next thing I am eating nachos!!!!
sigh.
bizi

Bizi--
Your husband sounds nice.

I am sorry you are feeling depressed. Sometimes I think my emotions and eating are too intertwined. Sometimes I think when we eat badly, it is a secret death wish! Am I being a bit dramatic saying that? I admire how much self control my husband has in regards to eating. Me? Not so much. It is an area I need to work on but sometimes put on the back seat when I am working because I will use coffee and food as motivation to keep working. How many hours are you working a week?

[~Christina]

Keep taking care of you

I hope your T session will be helpful. My T said he will likely be back in the office in May ! I hope so .. Zoom sessions just arent helpful for me

Soggy chips sound yuck but Nacho's Oooooooooooooooooh I want some !

[*Beth*]

I understand the eating issue. All of my life I've been a healthy eater, then when I had achilles surgery last May I got into the habit of eating poorly. Ordering junk food from Doordash, etc. Now I'm having a really hard time breaking the habit. I, too, am concerned that the way I'm eating is a death wish. I weigh far too much. I'm having a really hard time changing the habit. It's like I've lost focus. bizi, TunedOut- do you think the lousy eating tendency is a sign of depression?

[TunedOut]

Originally Posted by BethRags

Ordering junk food from Doordash, etc. Now I'm having a really hard time breaking the habit. I, too, am concerned that the way I'm eating is a death wish. I weigh far too much. I'm having a really hard time changing the habit. It's like I've lost focus. bizi, TunedOut- do you think the lousy eating tendency is a sign of depression?[/B]

@BethRagsI am sure you already know that Doordash isn't very good for our budgets either. IMO, sometimes a good first step is to plan out healthy meals and begin working on them (going to the store, preparing meals before you are ravenous) so that when you get hungry, you don't grab the things that are the worst for us. I keep buying chocolate but know when I buy it, I can only buy one serving. If I have multiple servings in the house, I keep going back to the bag even when I am not hungry. Perhaps it's a sugar addiction. I have heard people on Youtube (Carolyn Rogers - 'The Psychology of Food & Overeating' - YouTube) say that sugar can be very addicting and it hurts our immune system. So the most helpful thing for me is not to have it in the house. And yes, overeating might be a symptom of depression because when we are depressed, we feel bad and eating delicious things makes us temporarily feel good. I need to work on my own addiction to sugar. Perhaps the way I need to get started is to stop putting sugary substances in my coffee. I am currently doing a job grading achievement test questions and am finding myself grabbing coffee all or the time in order to maintain concentration. I find myself using different sugary substances in order vary the taste of my coffee. I already had some coffee this morning but will try not to put any more flavors in it that include sugar today.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by TunedOut

@BethRagsI am sure you already know that Doordash isn't very good for our budgets either. IMO, sometimes a good first step is to plan out healthy meals and begin working on them (going to the store, preparing meals before you are ravenous) so that when you get hungry, you don't grab the things that are the worst for us. I keep buying chocolate but know when I buy it, I can only buy one serving. If I have multiple servings in the house, I keep going back to the bag even when I am not hungry. Perhaps it's a sugar addiction. I have heard people on Youtube (Carolyn Rogers - 'The Psychology of Food & Overeating' - YouTube) say that sugar can be very addicting and it hurts our immune system. So the most helpful thing for me is not to have it in the house. And yes, overeating might be a symptom of depression because when we are depressed, we feel bad and eating delicious things makes us temporarily feel good. I need to work on my own addiction to sugar. Perhaps the way I need to get started is to stop putting sugary substances in my coffee. I am currently doing a job grading achievement test questions and am finding myself grabbing coffee all or the time in order to maintain concentration. I find myself using different sugary substances in order vary the taste of my coffee. I already had some coffee this morning but will try not to put any more flavors in it that include sugar today.

Exactly - our gas/electric company out here is letting payments slide because of the terrible wildfires they were responsible for. So I've been using Doordash instead of paying gas/electric. Stupid, stupid habit. I don't have a problem with overeating, it's what I'm eating that I'm upset about. And too much sugar. The coffee is an excellent example. I never, ever sweetened my coffee (yuck!)...until one day I did. After that I lost my taste for unsweetened coffee.


Maybe the depression is more a result of the bad habit, more than the other way around.