Depression and...

Fuzzybear · 05:35 PM

....................................

Moose72 · Jan 10, 2021 at 06:46 PM

Anything specifically going on Fuzzy?

Fuzzybear · Jan 10, 2021 at 07:11 PM

I was feeling ''hopeless'' and ''not good enough'' due to the negative chatter in my head and wondered if others experience this (abusers also told me I am these things). I try to put Papa bear's (my husband's) needs first but still feel ''a failure''

(this is not new, I've been feeling it more lately though)

yellow_fleurs · Jan 10, 2021 at 07:38 PM

I am really sorry you feel like this. I used to have a very negative voice that played in my head saying mean things to me. I think a combination of what people have said to me in the past and depression making me feel more worthless. I did not experience any sort of severe abuse, though. I think having positive mentors and relationships in recent years, plus a therapist who had a kind view of me slowly chipped away at that negative voice, but it still crops up sometimes.

Is anything making you feel like this more recently? Is there a reason you feel you need to put your husband's needs above yours, instead of something a bit more equal? Your needs are important, too.

Purple,Violet,Blue · Jan 10, 2021 at 07:40 PM

Love you, Fuzzybear

Fuzzybear · Jan 10, 2021 at 07:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by yellow_fleurs

I am really sorry you feel like this. I used to have a very negative voice that played in my head saying mean things to me. I think a combination of what people have said to me in the past and depression making me feel more worthless. I did not experience any sort of severe abuse, though. I think having positive mentors and relationships in recent years, plus a therapist who had a kind view of me slowly chipped away at that negative voice, but it still crops up sometimes.

Is anything making you feel like this more recently? Is there a reason you feel you need to put your husband's needs above yours, instead of something a bit more equal? Your needs are important, too.

Thanks yellow_fleurs.

A few things have been making me feel like this more recently. We don't have supportive family (and I have no siblings). He doesn't talk much to his siblings (he hasn't for a long time) and he is ok with that. He thinks I talk ''too much''... most other people have criticised me for being ''too quiet''. He gets stressed when he receives ''too much'' sensory input (talking etc) but likes the tv. I do not. So I'm ''alone'' in the evenings. It makes the negative chatter in my head worse sometimes. He thinks we interact a lot (I don't). Also he is practical and I am not

(the abusers told me I am ''useless''

) (I think I have a lot of difficulty staying focused on practical things and some other reasons...) I've been trying to find some distractions.....

Fuzzybear · Jan 10, 2021 at 07:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Purple,Violet,Blue

Love you, Fuzzybear

Love you Purple,Violet,Blue

*Beth* · Jan 10, 2021 at 07:53 PM

I never thought I'd say this, but CBT is helping me a fair bit with negative and intrusive thoughts and judgments.

Moose72 · Jan 10, 2021 at 08:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BethRags

I never thought I'd say this, but CBT is helping me a fair bit with negative and intrusive thoughts and judgments.

Are you doing CBT online or with a book or Zoom?

*Beth* · Jan 10, 2021 at 09:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moose72

Are you doing CBT online or with a book or Zoom?

My therapist uses it a lot, especially since we've been having teletherapy.

Breaking Dawn · Jan 10, 2021 at 11:06 PM

(((Fuzzybear)))

yellow_fleurs · Jan 11, 2021 at 04:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

Thanks yellow_fleurs.

A few things have been making me feel like this more recently. We don't have supportive family (and I have no siblings). He doesn't talk much to his siblings (he hasn't for a long time) and he is ok with that. He thinks I talk ''too much''... most other people have criticised me for being ''too quiet''. He gets stressed when he receives ''too much'' sensory input (talking etc) but likes the tv. I do not. So I'm ''alone'' in the evenings. It makes the negative chatter in my head worse sometimes. He thinks we interact a lot (I don't). Also he is practical and I am not

(the abusers told me I am ''useless''

) (I think I have a lot of difficulty staying focused on practical things and some other reasons...) I've been trying to find some distractions.....

I can definitely understand how this would affect how you feel.

I am sorry you are alone on the evenings. Do you think there could be a chance to change anything with your husband, like maybe through compromising on some things like how you spend your time together? I guess expanding your support network right would be especially hard right now with Covid. Also you are definitely not "useless", and you have value.

Fuzzybear · Jan 11, 2021 at 05:01 PM

I guess as far as ''support'' I could try a therapist although that too would stress Papa bear out

(and it would stress me out too.....) But maybe I might find a therapist who listens, that would be nice

I think he might be high functioning Aspergers, he was labelled ''introverted'' when he was at school and I don't think his school was into labels.. unlike that place I went to. He isn't interested in talking to people, even on line, but his social skills are fine except in the evenings. I did not notice how ''quiet'' he was for a long time, (at least a few years) I was always labelled as ''quiet'' but now I'm not so much

But I'd rather he said nothing than what the rest of the ''family'' say - judgments, talking about paint drying, scary ugly topics

Fuzzybear · Jan 11, 2021 at 06:06 PM

I just posted in another thread about

GIGO

GARBAGE in

GARBAGE out

It can be quite a powerful way of eliminating.... for a time..... bad memories that constantly replay.... at least it works for me sometimes. Sub optimal individuals who spout venom and/or ignorance in fact spout GARBAGE.....

Which needs to go OUT

I hope this helps someone else out there

Fuzzybear · Jan 11, 2021 at 06:10 PM

I thought I was ...... (deleted) earlier on today (like losing the plot)

Just getting by... with my harsh muzzle ON

And the abusive words still screaming at me how BAD I am. I wish they would stop.

wolftrap · Jan 11, 2021 at 06:55 PM

I'm sorry you are experiencing these thoughts Fuzzy. My sister experienced such thoughts for most of her life, along with extreme anxiety. I don't know how she dealt with it, but I do know that she is now a much happier person. I hope you find a solution.

Purple,Violet,Blue · Jan 11, 2021 at 07:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

I just posted in another thread about

GIGO

GARBAGE in

GARBAGE out

It can be quite a powerful way of eliminating.... for a time..... bad memories that constantly replay.... at least it works for me sometimes. Sub optimal individuals who spout venom and/or ignorance in fact spout GARBAGE.....

Which needs to go OUT

I hope this helps someone else out there

Thanks, it does help me. I love the idea! I'll check you other thread

Purple,Violet,Blue · Jan 11, 2021 at 07:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

I thought I was ...... (deleted) earlier on today (like losing the plot)

Just getting by... with my harsh muzzle ON

And the abusive words still screaming at me how BAD I am. I wish they would stop.

I wish yours would stop

Fuzzybear · Jan 11, 2021 at 08:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Purple,Violet,Blue

Thanks, it does help me. I love the idea! I'll check you other thread

Thanks Purple (it was in a reply to someone else I mentioned this) (I don't know more about it than what I posted really)

Purple,Violet,Blue · Jan 13, 2021 at 09:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

Thanks Purple (it was in a reply to someone else I mentioned this) (I don't know more about it than what I posted really)

Thanks

I've replied on that thread. This really gets to the heart of a lot of things

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Fuzzybear Wisest Elder Ever Member Since Nov 2002 Location: Cave. Posts: 96,325 (SuperPoster!) 21 81.2k hugs given	Jan 10, 2021 at 05:05 PM #1 .................................... __________________ Last edited by Fuzzybear; Jan 10, 2021 at 05:35 PM..
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Moose72 Silver Swan Member Since Jan 2008 Location: USA Posts: 16,467 (SuperPoster!) 16 2,541 hugs given	Jan 10, 2021 at 06:46 PM #2 Anything specifically going on Fuzzy? __________________ Wellbutrin XL 300 mg Caplyta 42 mg Ingrezza 80 mg Ativan .5 mg 2x/day Propranolol 20 mg 2x/day Mania (December 2023) Mixed episode/Hypomania (September 2023) Depression, Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts (September 2021) Depression & Psychosis (July/August 2021) Mania (April/May 2019)
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Fuzzybear Wisest Elder Ever Member Since Nov 2002 Location: Cave. Posts: 96,325 (SuperPoster!) 21 81.2k hugs given	Jan 10, 2021 at 07:11 PM #3 I was feeling ''hopeless'' and ''not good enough'' due to the negative chatter in my head and wondered if others experience this (abusers also told me I am these things). I try to put Papa bear's (my husband's) needs first but still feel ''a failure'' (this is not new, I've been feeling it more lately though) __________________
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Purple,Violet,Blue Magnate Member Since Sep 2017 Location: Britain Posts: 2,899 6 10.3k hugs given	Jan 10, 2021 at 07:40 PM #5 Love you, Fuzzybear
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Beth catches the flowers Member Since Jul 2019 Location: Downtown Vibes, California Posts: 15,701 (SuperPoster!) 4 23.7k hugs given	Jan 10, 2021 at 07:53 PM #8 I never thought I'd say this, but CBT is helping me a fair bit with negative and intrusive thoughts and judgments. __________________
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Breaking Dawn Legendary Member Since Sep 2019 Location: USA Posts: 16,689 (SuperPoster!) 4 42.2k hugs given	Jan 10, 2021 at 11:06 PM #11 (((Fuzzybear)))
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Fuzzybear Wisest Elder Ever Member Since Nov 2002 Location: Cave. Posts: 96,325 (SuperPoster!) 21 81.2k hugs given	Jan 11, 2021 at 06:10 PM #15 I thought I was ...... (deleted) earlier on today (like losing the plot) Just getting by... with my harsh muzzle ON And the abusive words still screaming at me how BAD I am. I wish they would stop. __________________
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wolftrap Member Member Since Oct 2020 Location: VA Posts: 309 3 140 hugs given	Jan 11, 2021 at 06:55 PM #16 I'm sorry you are experiencing these thoughts Fuzzy. My sister experienced such thoughts for most of her life, along with extreme anxiety. I don't know how she dealt with it, but I do know that she is now a much happier person. I hope you find a solution.
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