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#1
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I’m really embarrassed. I had an amazing several weeks. I completely cleaned my very messy house, decorated, organized, got an entire bedroom full of laundry baskets hung and put away, started a diet, started an exercise program, and got a non-clinical job. I was happy, motivated, and ambitious. It felt good. During that time, I sent a message to my pdoc about how great I was doing including showering, wearing clean clothes every day, fixing my hair every day, etc. I even sent her a meme about overcoming adversity. Sigh. Yesterday, I just woke up feeling sad. I’m not depressed. I have no motivation, feel tired, and regret taking the job. What the heck happened? I can’t go back and see my pdoc after that embarrassing display of happiness if I can’t hang onto the progress. I’ve had 3 energy drinks today just trying to stir up some of that energy but it’s not there.
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Anonymous41462, buddha1too, Soupe du jour, unaluna, Victoria'smom, wolftrap
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unaluna, Victoria'smom
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#2
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I’m so sorry that happened!! Don’t be embarrassed. I know it’s easy to, but try your best not to. It happens to us, it’s happened to me. Do you feel like you were going through an episode when you accomplished all of that? How often do you cycle?
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Anonymous41462
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#3
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I went through two months of stability and feeling good but I was unable still to take care of my home or my basic hygiene. Then I just experienced this burst of energy, more happiness, and motivation. I started really taking care of things and networked to get this job. I have just felt like this must be how normal people feel. This is how normal people get things done. I really can’t afford to go backwards. Maybe the last two days are just bad days and I’ll be back on top tomorrow.
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Anonymous41462
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#4
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Also I can’t stomach the thought of seeing my pdoc after I sent her that meme. Ugh.
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Anonymous41462
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#5
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It's just the nature of bipolar to be on top of the world then down in the dumps. I'm sure your psychiatrist has seen more florid examples of high mood. Bipolar is an absurd existence but it's testimony to our resilience and perseverance that we cope with it. Hang in there, i'm sure if you just do your best, that will be enough. I think it's really courageous and thank you for writing that you have trouble with basic hygiene and housework because i struggle with that too. I'm glad to know i'm not the only one.
Last edited by Anonymous41462; Mar 01, 2021 at 03:14 PM. |
Soupe du jour
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*Beth*, Soupe du jour
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#6
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So Sorry you're feeling bad! i agree with the other wise and wonderful posters. No need to be embarassed as your Pdoc may have seen similar situations to yours. If you're feeling particularly bad Please do not Hesitate in contacting her and asking for Help. Sending many Safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @busymomof5, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!
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#7
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Whatever is correct; it's the nature of BD to fluctuate. I doubt your pdoc will think anything of your mood change except how to treat it.
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Anonymous41462
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#8
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Got to love those productive phases! Sorry you’re feeling down now. Hopefully your mood want to move again.
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#9
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I also agree fully with whatever2013. Your doc will have seen/heard similar many times over. Also, one day so far feeling a bit down? Does that mean you're ruined for years to come? Please don't catastrophize. Tomorrow, or at least a few days later, things may look rosier again.
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*Beth*
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