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BipolaRNurse
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BipolaRNurse A little shaky, but OK
 
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Default Mar 13, 2021 at 04:28 AM
  #21
It’s been six years since my last full-blown manic episode, and once in awhile I think to myself that I must’ve made more of those than there really was. I also can’t believe I was ever so depressed that I needed to be hospitalized for my own safety. I’ve been stable for quite some time, so the sharp edges of those episodes have been mercifully blurred by the passage of months and years since I experienced them.

So have I accepted the fact of my illness? Yes. I know my stability is dependent on meds and therapy, and forever will be. Like it or not, it’s here for the rest of my life and I will ALWAYS have to deal with it. I didn’t ask for this and certainly don’t want it, but that doesn’t make the slightest difference. It took a long time for me to go through all the phases of grief, and I’d often regress to an earlier stage when I had an episode. But eventually things worked themselves out, and today I can say I’m in full remission. 😊

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NaoSky
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Default Mar 13, 2021 at 06:57 AM
  #22
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Originally Posted by BipolaRNurse View Post
It’s been six years since my last full-blown manic episode, and once in awhile I think to myself that I must’ve made more of those than there really was. I also can’t believe I was ever so depressed that I needed to be hospitalized for my own safety. I’ve been stable for quite some time, so the sharp edges of those episodes have been mercifully blurred by the passage of months and years since I experienced them.

So have I accepted the fact of my illness? Yes. I know my stability is dependent on meds and therapy, and forever will be. Like it or not, it’s here for the rest of my life and I will ALWAYS have to deal with it. I didn’t ask for this and certainly don’t want it, but that doesn’t make the slightest difference. It took a long time for me to go through all the phases of grief, and I’d often regress to an earlier stage when I had an episode. But eventually things worked themselves out, and today I can say I’m in full remission. 😊
Thank u for sharing!!! It’s actually helped me to have a better perspective on life and I’ve also come to realize that I’m even happier than before my diagnosis. I think I actually repressed and suppressed so many memories that when I had my first manic episode they all came spewing out like a shaken bottle of Dr. Pepper when it gets opened. My thoughts and words were on fire and so mixed up that I said just about anything. Now that I’m stable I’ve realized how much of “me” I’ve kept hidden, afraid to discuss, afraid people would judge me for my past so I kept secrets. I think when I was triggered it was like I was very drunk but with tons of energy. Now that I’m “sober” I’m actually more myself than I’ve ever been before. 😀
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Default Mar 20, 2021 at 09:17 PM
  #23
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Originally Posted by NaoSky View Post
Thank u for sharing!!! It’s actually helped me to have a better perspective on life and I’ve also come to realize that I’m even happier than before my diagnosis. I think I actually repressed and suppressed so many memories that when I had my first manic episode they all came spewing out like a shaken bottle of Dr. Pepper when it gets opened. My thoughts and words were on fire and so mixed up that I said just about anything. Now that I’m stable I’ve realized how much of “me” I’ve kept hidden, afraid to discuss, afraid people would judge me for my past so I kept secrets. I think when I was triggered it was like I was very drunk but with tons of energy. Now that I’m “sober” I’m actually more myself than I’ve ever been before. 😀

Your post is very meaningful. To me, it also makes a good argument for being up front about having a mental illness. Yet, I can't seem to do that so I remain hidden. NaoSky, you've come a long way in a short time! You're an inspiration.

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Default Mar 21, 2021 at 08:03 AM
  #24
Acceptance was very hard for me. It's why i lost my kids. I refused treatment. I didn't need it before why now. I finally got fed up with being sick. Went to treatment. Turned me into a new women.

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