advertisement
Closed Thread
Thread Tools Display Modes
MamaBear4
Junior Member
MamaBear4 has no updates.
 
Member Since: May 2020
Location: United States
Posts: 14
3 yr Member
3 hugs
given
Default Apr 29, 2021 at 04:27 PM
  #801
I sidestepped psychosis yesterday with the help of my pdoc, family, and this group. I am tired today and have a job interview tomorrow so I am just trying to get myself together.
MamaBear4 is offline  
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*, Anonymous41462, Innerzone, MuddyBoots, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123
 
Thanks for this!
*Beth*, MuddyBoots

advertisement
Anonymous41462
Guest
Anonymous41462 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Apr 29, 2021 at 08:26 PM
  #802
I celebrated my first week of dieting... by bingeing. I despair of myself. I don't know what to do. Milk is not working out. That first test was a fluke. Regular milk does bother me, nausea, bloating, gas and loose stool. But it's 35 cents a serving and 100 cals and 10g of protein. I have epic trouble getting enough protein. I'm taking all the precautionary measures i can find and even asked my doctor. I'm mixing lactose-free milk with regular, sipping it slowly, holding it in my mouth for a few moments to allow saliva to initiate digestion, eating it with some other food, etc. I guess if i have to drink lactose-free milk it's not the end of the world, just twice the price. Lactose-free milk lasts for a long time tho, so it's easy to keep stocked up on it. Sigh! I just had such high hopes for regular milk but i don't even know if i'll be able to finish the bag i bought. Lesson to all: if you're a regular milk drinker, keep it up with a passion, as once the lactose-processing enzyme is gone from your stomach, it's hard to rejuvenate it.

I read that one bad day of overeating does not ruin a whole week of good dieting, so that's of some comfort. I just don't know if i will be able to get back on the horse tomorrow. I feel myself wavering because when i started to feel unhappy today, it's not like i've developed any alternate methods of coping. All i know is to go for a walk and i don't do that. I probably should, it would probably work. I must give it a try. I hereby make a commitment to you all that next time i feel like bingeing i will try going for a walk. THERE. I feel better!

I don't know. Maybe i will wrestle with overeating for the rest of my life without success. There's the possibility of the hospital weight loss clinic once my benzo taper is done in three months (if it goes smoothly). I think they have a lot of skills to teach but i am just not the most co-operative, teachable student. They'd have support too but their program sounds really intense, with a lot of suffering. Six to twelve weeks of just Optifast shakes and water and then a slow transition over to home-prepared food for the balance of two years. It's a very ambitious program and i am not sure i am up to it, especially with my depressive swings where life is unpleasant enough.

Otherwise i had a great time with my one close neighbor this morning. We took a new photo for Facebook with my nifty new decagonal glasses and hair grown into a perfect pageboy at last. I got lots of 'likes.' especially from my male friends so i guess this look is more flattering. Only thing is there is a small gap of overcast sky showing thru leaves in the background at the top of my head and it looks like i am a wanna-be unicorn! Haha!

Otherwise, watched hour upon hour of soaps today and had a nice time. Hmm, maybe that triggered the binge, as i associate eating with TV. I was also drinking pop which goes so well with food so that contributed as well. I foresee the sad day when i will have to give up pop. I will sure need the support of the hospital's weight loss clinic to do it tho as i am a Coke Zero fiend. Coke Zero is my husband and my life, to paraphrase Lou Reed re heroin.

Anyways, the hospital weight loss clinic does a thorough assessment so i don't even know if they'd take me. Well that's all 3+ months away as getting off benzos is the priority. For the moment, i'm more puff than buff!

Hugs to all!

 
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*, Innerzone, MuddyBoots, Nammu, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123
 
Thanks for this!
*Beth*
Nammu
Crone
 
Nammu's Avatar
Nammu has no updates.
 
Member Since: May 2010
Location: Some where between my inner mind and the solar system.
Posts: 70,982 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
53.4k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Apr 29, 2021 at 09:29 PM
  #803
Quote:
Originally Posted by MamaBear4 View Post
I sidestepped psychosis yesterday with the help of my pdoc, family, and this group. I am tired today and have a job interview tomorrow so I am just trying to get myself together.
I’m glad you found help.

__________________
Nammu
…Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …...
Desiderata Max Ehrmann



Nammu is offline  
Anonymous41462
Guest
Anonymous41462 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Apr 30, 2021 at 04:49 AM
  #804
@MamaBear4: Good for you, for avoiding psychosis! No one wants psychosis. Been there, done that. Welcome aboard! If you feel comfortable, would you care to share how you avoided it (if you used some coping technique or other). It might be helpful to others to hear what method you used. We all want to avoid psychosis if at all possible!

Edit: Just saw your thread where you gave an update and details about how you successfully fought off psychosis so please disregard the above question and accept my congratulations on your success.

Last edited by Anonymous41462; Apr 30, 2021 at 05:12 AM..
 
Sunflower123
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Sunflower123's Avatar
Sunflower123 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jan 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 26,543 (SuperPoster!)
8 yr Member
95k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Apr 30, 2021 at 06:48 AM
  #805
My daughter is not going to be able to go to Florida with us this year. I’ve been taking her there since she was one. It’s a family tradition. I’m having trouble with this life transition for both of us. I’ll eventually adjust but I’m bitterly disappointed right now and angry that life is changing. I’ll work on remaining grateful for the good memories and learning to embrace change. It’s not easy.

Next week is graduation. Mom and I will travel up there Thursday to spend her birthday with her and then graduation is Friday. It’s forecast to rain all day but you never can tell. It makes no difference to me except for the dozen roses I’m going to get for her. My birthday is the following Monday and this will be the first birthday since she’s been born that I won’t get to spend time with her. Again...change. I’ve planned a special birthday to make up for it (except for that lovely PT).

Several of my social groups are starting to meet in person in May but I’m not comfortable with that at this time. They won’t be on Zoom anymore so I’ll miss out unless and until I get comfortable being there in person. I just don’t know.

Hugs to all!
Sunflower123 is offline  
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*, Anonymous41462, Innerzone, MuddyBoots, Nammu
Anonymous41462
Guest
Anonymous41462 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Apr 30, 2021 at 07:12 AM
  #806
@Jennifer 1967: Yes, lots of changes for you and the loss of traditions you treasure. I can see how you would be sad. Time is relentless. It marches on whether we like it or not. But you will enjoy seeing your daughter graduate, a proud moment to be sure. And you have a special birthday for yourself planned so you are being pro-active about the adjustments and making an effort to comfort yourself. I really admire that. My ZOOM groups have been so successful they are being continued even AFTER COVID! It's been discovered that it's an important additional method of reaching people. Sorry you will have a gap between ZOOM groups and IRL groups. I'm getting more active as my mood goes up with the Spring and i feel if i am scrupulous with the preventive measures it's a calculated risk i will take, especially now that some are vaxed. There's a risk to staying home too: isolation, boredom, boredom-eating, frustration, loneliness, missing out on life and worse...
 
 
Hugs from:
Sunflower123
 
Thanks for this!
Sunflower123
Sunflower123
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Sunflower123's Avatar
Sunflower123 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jan 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 26,543 (SuperPoster!)
8 yr Member
95k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Apr 30, 2021 at 07:38 AM
  #807
Quote:
Originally Posted by whatever2013 View Post
@Jennifer 1967: Yes, lots of changes for you and the loss of traditions you treasure. I can see how you would be sad. Time is relentless. It marches on whether we like it or not. But you will enjoy seeing your daughter graduate, a proud moment to be sure. And you have a special birthday for yourself planned so you are being pro-active about the adjustments and making an effort to comfort yourself. I really admire that. My ZOOM groups have been so successful they are being continued even AFTER COVID! It's been discovered that it's an important additional method of reaching people. Sorry you will have a gap between ZOOM groups and IRL groups. I'm getting more active as my mood goes up with the Spring and i feel if i am scrupulous with the preventive measures it's a calculated risk i will take, especially now that some are vaxed. There's a risk to staying home too: isolation, boredom, boredom-eating, frustration, loneliness, missing out on life and worse...
I always appreciate your comments and feedback. Thank you. That’s great about your Zoom groups! Excellent point on the risks of staying home.
Sunflower123 is offline  
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous41462
*Beth*
catches the flowers
*Beth* is practicing healthy breathing for brain, mind, body, spirit.
 
Member Since: Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701 (SuperPoster!)
3 yr Member
23.7k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Apr 30, 2021 at 10:26 AM
  #808
Quote:
Originally Posted by whatever2013 View Post
...

I can appreciate the Lou Reed reference

I'm so sorry about milk not working out for you. I was happy that you had discovered it. What about something like Lactaid? I wonder if it's less expensive than lactose-free milk?

That hospital program sounds extremely intense. Frankly, it sounds kind-of miserable.

__________________




*Beth* is offline  
Innerzone
Wise Elder
 
Innerzone's Avatar
Innerzone FML
 
Member Since: Nov 2009
Location: NW US
Posts: 9,383
10 yr Member
31.3k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Apr 30, 2021 at 10:30 AM
  #809
Quote:
Originally Posted by whatever2013 View Post
Lesson to all: if you're a regular milk drinker, keep it up with a passion, as once the lactose-processing enzyme is gone from your stomach, it's hard to rejuvenate it.
Sad to say, but it can just be a factor of age too.
I consumed dairy enthusiastically till I just couldn't ignore the symptoms. I didn't want to admit that intolerance could be it, because I loved it so much. But as soon as I stopped it, the symptoms stopped. Just like that.

I'd do a check in, but need to get up for work now. Don't WANNA!! Wha-wha-wha, want more sleep...

Hugs to all

__________________
*********
Mr. Robot
Bipolar Check-In Thread #55
Makes me sick to the heart, Oh I feel so tired. And the way the rain comes down hard, that's how I feel inside.
--The Cure
Innerzone is offline  
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*, MuddyBoots, Nammu
*Beth*
catches the flowers
*Beth* is practicing healthy breathing for brain, mind, body, spirit.
 
Member Since: Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701 (SuperPoster!)
3 yr Member
23.7k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Apr 30, 2021 at 10:30 AM
  #810
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967 View Post
My daughter is not going to be able to go to Florida with us this year. I’ve been taking her there since she was one. It’s a family tradition. I’m having trouble with this life transition for both of us. I’ll eventually adjust but I’m bitterly disappointed right now and angry that life is changing. I’ll work on remaining grateful for the good memories and learning to embrace change. It’s not easy.

Next week is graduation. Mom and I will travel up there Thursday to spend her birthday with her and then graduation is Friday. It’s forecast to rain all day but you never can tell. It makes no difference to me except for the dozen roses I’m going to get for her. My birthday is the following Monday and this will be the first birthday since she’s been born that I won’t get to spend time with her. Again...change. I’ve planned a special birthday to make up for it (except for that lovely PT).

Several of my social groups are starting to meet in person in May but I’m not comfortable with that at this time. They won’t be on Zoom anymore so I’ll miss out unless and until I get comfortable being there in person. I just don’t know.

Hugs to all!

The changes as my children grew older, past their mid/late 20's, have been the hardest of my life. They're truly their own adult people now. I seldom see them. It's hard to reconcile the babies and children that they were with the adults they've become (they're both in their 30's now). They're both doing very well in their lives...it's me who feels left out and alone. I wish I could be more encouraging to you. My hope is that when they're in their 40's and I'm in my 60's we'll actually be closer...

But @whatever is correct - seeing your daughter graduate will be a blast! And GOOD for you for making your birthday plans. Interestingly, one of the best days of my life (truly) was a Mother's Day a few years back that I spent alone. I planned the day and it just seemed to turn into magic!

__________________




*Beth* is offline  
 
Hugs from:
Innerzone, MuddyBoots, Nammu, Sunflower123
 
Thanks for this!
Sunflower123
Nammu
Crone
 
Nammu's Avatar
Nammu has no updates.
 
Member Since: May 2010
Location: Some where between my inner mind and the solar system.
Posts: 70,982 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
53.4k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Apr 30, 2021 at 10:31 AM
  #811
Nothing much to say. My daughter graduates next month but I can’t go as they are just having a virtual ceremony. I’m so proud of her. She already has had several job offers and made lots of connections. Me? I’m ok. Not really as stable as I was but ok.

__________________
Nammu
…Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …...
Desiderata Max Ehrmann



Nammu is offline  
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*, Innerzone, MuddyBoots, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123
Victoria'smom
Legendary
 
Victoria'smom's Avatar
Victoria'smom has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2012
Location: Earth
Posts: 14,880 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
5,415 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Apr 30, 2021 at 01:12 PM
  #812
@whatever2013 I drink fairlife w. carnation instant breakfast high protein in it. It ends up being 23 grams of protein in an 8 ounce glass. That's the only protein drink I can stomach and afford. I try to drink at least 1 a day because I'm horrible at getting protein too.
I have concluded that I will always struggle with weight and food.

__________________
Dx:
Me- SzA
Husband- Bipolar 1
Daughter- mood disorder+


Comfortable broken and happy

"So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk
My blog
Victoria'smom is offline  
Anonymous41462
Guest
Anonymous41462 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Apr 30, 2021 at 02:29 PM
  #813
@Miguel'smom: I'm sorry to read that you've concluded that you will always struggle with weight and food. I know how you feel. But that doesn't mean i'm not still trying different things. I figure as long as i'm still trying, there is the possibility that something will work out. I'm trying on my own now, which i've failed at many times before but i am enjoying the challenge so if i don't succeed at least i've had a good time and been persistent and kept the faith. I've also got a referral in to a hospital weight-loss clinic that's on hold while i finish my benzo taper, so that's something entirely new and different that is a possibility. I think you are younger than me (54) so you have even MORE time to try different things!

Thanks for the tip about the Fairlife milk. I looked it over online and it looks like a great product! Unfortunately my neighborhood grocery store doesn't carry it. It's my only shopping option as i do my big orders there as they have delivery and i shop infrequently to defray the fee. I don't have a car. I looked into ordering it online and the fee wipes out the savings. But it's still good to know as i will put a request in my grocery store's suggestion box that they start carrying it, so it's a possibility for the future. I'm sure they carry Carnation Instant Breakfast so i will look into that. They are both affordable so they sound like ideal options. Thanks for the benefit of your experience. Getting enough protein is so important and such a challenge! Thanks for the tips and your time and may we both persist and persevere and find peace with our weight and food eventually!
 
 
Hugs from:
Soupe du jour, Sunflower123
Anonymous41462
Guest
Anonymous41462 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Apr 30, 2021 at 02:54 PM
  #814
Hallelujah and rejoicing! I have rediscovered herbal tea! It may be the solution to my Coke Zero crisis! I was inspired by @FluffyDinosaur's saying that they drink only water. It's too chilly here for water but i thought i would retry herbal tea and I LOVE IT!!! I drink it plain, no sugar, artificial sweetener, honey, nothing. My current favorite is Celestial Seasonings Black Cherry Berry herbal tea. Oh, i'm so excited! To be finally free of the shackles of Coke Zero! I've been a diet cola fiend for over twenty years. I've been buying it eight cases at a time. (Oh, the shame of buying it, the embarrassment!) It's been destroying my digestion.

Aah, to feel hope!

 
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*, Innerzone, Sunflower123
*Beth*
catches the flowers
*Beth* is practicing healthy breathing for brain, mind, body, spirit.
 
Member Since: Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701 (SuperPoster!)
3 yr Member
23.7k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Apr 30, 2021 at 05:19 PM
  #815
Quote:
Originally Posted by whatever2013 View Post
Hallelujah and rejoicing! I have rediscovered herbal tea! It may be the solution to my Coke Zero crisis! I was inspired by @FluffyDinosaur's saying that they drink only water. It's too chilly here for water but i thought i would retry herbal tea and I LOVE IT!!! I drink it plain, no sugar, artificial sweetener, honey, nothing. My current favorite is Celestial Seasonings Black Cherry Berry herbal tea. Oh, i'm so excited! To be finally free of the shackles of Coke Zero! I've been a diet cola fiend for over twenty years. I've been buying it eight cases at a time. (Oh, the shame of buying it, the embarrassment!) It's been destroying my digestion.

Aah, to feel hope!


I strongly suggest Yogi Tea Lavender Honey. It's divine.

__________________




*Beth* is offline  
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous41462
*Beth*
catches the flowers
*Beth* is practicing healthy breathing for brain, mind, body, spirit.
 
Member Since: Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701 (SuperPoster!)
3 yr Member
23.7k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Apr 30, 2021 at 05:30 PM
  #816
I had an appointment with my pdoc. We agree that I'm on a lot of medication, so she suggested that I fairly slowly wean off the perphenazine (Trilafon - antipsychotic). She had prescribed it to me for severe anxiety. It was quite helpful for the first couple of months, but then it did what so many meds (especially AP's) do...just sorta stopped working. And I am learning, in therapy, other ways to cope with anxiety.

My pdoc, after 3 1/2 years, is at that place pdocs get to when they basically say I've used every trick in my book, whatever else is going on, you have to deal with it. For example, I told her I'm still more depressed than I'd like to be - not terribly, but I sure would like to feel a bit more "up." Her reply was that nothing is perfect, and that she believes I can use therapy tools to deal with the residual depression. The thing is, she's correct. There's no medication that will take away that last remnant of down-ness. The fact is, I miss certain aspects of hypomania. "Normal" to me feels like being 3/4's alive. One quarter is missing, like it's dead, or blank. But try to tell a pdoc that - HA. There's no perfect treatment, blah, blah, blah.

In other news, my daughter has been accepted to a grad school on the east coast. I'm delighted for her. I just wish I would have had more children. Only two means they take flight, far from home. 3 or 4 - one usually stays closer.

__________________




*Beth* is offline  
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous41462, Innerzone, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123
 
Thanks for this!
Soupe du jour, Sunflower123
Anonymous41462
Guest
Anonymous41462 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Apr 30, 2021 at 05:50 PM
  #817
@BethRags: Congratulations on your daughter getting into grad school! You must be very proud, tho it's unfortunate that it's on the opposite coast. I hope your therapy helps with the last bit of depression. It seems that meds only help moderate to severe depression. I like hypomania too, for the most part. Sorry you're missing your kids.
 
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*
 
Thanks for this!
*Beth*
Anonymous41462
Guest
Anonymous41462 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Apr 30, 2021 at 06:57 PM
  #818
I got up at 5:15am today. Just woke up and felt fine. I'm very happy to report that today i got back on the horse with my diet! I didn't let my binge of yesterday derail me. Today i had the first of my veggie burgers. It was just okay. It merely tasted like the sum of it's parts which were peas, carrots, kale and corn. It tasted like chopped veggies all smushed together to form a patty. It wasn't very tasty. It was the "President's Choice" brand. It only had 160 cals which was good but only 4g of protein which is not impressive. It was nice to have a traditional-looking meal tho. Not sure if i'll get them again. I did a few dishes from the meal without distress. The burgers are the sort of thing you'd serve at a BBQ so the vegetarians didn't feel left out but that's about the only reason i'd buy them again. The "Beyond Meat" burgers are far superior. Also twice the price and hard to find and highly perishable.

I walked this morning in the light rain with my neighbor and our dogs. I laughed at how curious my neighbor is when she told me she looked on Facebook to see how the picture she took of me yesterday turned out. Well, she WAS the photographer, she said!

Feeling a little sleep deprived now. Will go to bed tho it is absurdly early. A guy in my support group who keeps himself in peak physical condition after recovering from street drug use goes to bed at 8:00pm and gets up at 3:00am to 4:00am. It's working wonders for him, he does aerobics at 6:00am at a gym (pre-COVID) and drinks kale smoothies and meditates and i'm really impressed with him. I'm striving to be like him. I like people who set a good example.

Hugs to all!

 
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*, Innerzone, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123
 
Thanks for this!
*Beth*, Sunflower123
Sunflower123
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Sunflower123's Avatar
Sunflower123 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jan 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 26,543 (SuperPoster!)
8 yr Member
95k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Apr 30, 2021 at 08:03 PM
  #819
I ate indoors at my first restaurant in over a year. I wore my mask except for when I ate. I was slightly nervous when the guy behind me started coughing like he was hacking up a lung. The tables were apart from each other with tables in between. I’m not going to make a habit of it but this first time went well. I’ll probably be eating out during my graduation visit as well. I hope this vaccine holds. Fingers crossed.
Sunflower123 is offline  
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*, Anonymous41462, Innerzone, Soupe du jour
Victoria'smom
Legendary
 
Victoria'smom's Avatar
Victoria'smom has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2012
Location: Earth
Posts: 14,880 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
5,415 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Apr 30, 2021 at 09:52 PM
  #820
I'm doing so much better on this meds. But I had a headache and checked whether I could take Tylenol and learned 2 of the meds interact to cause irregular heartbeat. So now I don't know what to do. I'm wondering if I miss heard him. but the pharmacy filled it? so Idk. It's my prn so I'm avoiding taking it until I talk to pdoc in 3 weeks. I also got a heart monitor watch so if I didn't miss hear I'm safe. I think for the first time ever I'm not regularly thinking about self harm.

__________________
Dx:
Me- SzA
Husband- Bipolar 1
Daughter- mood disorder+


Comfortable broken and happy

"So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk
My blog
Victoria'smom is offline  
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 07:49 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.