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Default May 02, 2021 at 11:38 AM
  #841
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OMG, your husband's best friend - awful. I'm so sorry to hear of his very difficult situation. I do wonder why he wasn't vaccinated. I SO wish more people would take covid more seriously! I hope and pray he recovers, Soupe.
My guess is procrastination, since he's not an anti-vaxer. He certainly regrets not getting it now.

Thanks for the well wishes for him.
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Default May 02, 2021 at 12:01 PM
  #842
I'm working on my bullet journal.one page I made a circle for each day, colored them and then the thought came to me- make them into balloons! I had made a mistake on the left page and colored it in with the same colored pencil that I made the mistake with and turned the colored circle into a balloon and then I realized that ALL the circles could be balloons!

Got up at 5:45 this morning because I said that I'd take N3's gf to work by 7. So Im a bit tired now at almost 1 p.m. I also did my laundry this morning and went grocery shopping! Ya me! Most of what I got was in the produce/meat section- even the peach-mango salsa! Now I want a nap but I'd have to take my contacts out and they are in and very comfy being so so I don't want to take them out but I can feel the nap winning.

Speaking of covid, my 2nd shot is this Wednesday. I can't wait until my 2 weeks are up after it! Then I'll feel better psychologically.

Ok I think the nap is winning... Adding some pix from my bullet journal...
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Default May 02, 2021 at 02:36 PM
  #843
I'm trying to re-animate the overweight/binge-eating forum to give and get some more support re dieting so if anyone wants to head over there and participate you are most welcome!

 
 
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Default May 02, 2021 at 02:48 PM
  #844
I just woke up from my nap and my eyes are red! Wth??

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Default May 02, 2021 at 05:04 PM
  #845
I got up at 4:30am this morning. Just woke up and got up to get away from unpleasant dreams. Saw the sunrise! Enjoyed the entire hour of direct sunlight i get on my West wall. I sat in the sun on the sofa drinking herbal tea and snuggling my dog. It was delightful!

Day 11 of my diet went well. It was warmer today so i took a page from @FluffyDinosaur's book and drank two liters of cold water! It was so nice to have a drink i could guzzle, instead of sipping tea and milk. Also, it was completely without remorse as water is the perfect drink for a dieter. Also, it's free as i just drink tap water. Our city water is excellent.

I will be going to bed before sunset today tho. It's been a long day. But enjoyable!

Ta!

Jane.


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Default May 02, 2021 at 07:31 PM
  #846
My friend whom I haven't seen in several years wants to come see me. At first he said Wednesday then I said I have my 2nd covid shot that day. He replied that he's not vaccinated - and not planning on being so - and he doesn't want me to "shed" around him. So then he told me that his unvaccinated son just moved back in with him after a month of being gone and that they're working construction together. I told him that I don't want to get together anymore after he is so un social distanced and having his son who is not vaccinated either contributing to spreading covid. It's too bad because I really want to see him again but not if he's scaring me about covid. And he can only come this week not after I get my second shot so oh well.

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Default May 03, 2021 at 02:25 AM
  #847
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I'm so sorry, Christina. I've never heard you sound so defeated. To me, the telehealth stuff is dehumanizing, depressing in itself. But with all the psych meds there are, I feel sure that your new NP will be able to help you come up with some kind of plan. Please, remember to breathe and to hang on to hope...it is there
Hey Beth Thank you

Honestly there isnt any options as for Psych meds due to them all increasing blood sugar levels also for me due to my physical health problems and the medications I already take.

I wont see my T again until the 12th. I wish it was sooner, But thats impossible.

I do feel very defeated.. defeated rage? A very unique combo for sure.

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Default May 03, 2021 at 02:37 AM
  #848
I dont feel any better about the way things ended with my Pdoc. All the uncertainty about the NP and what her guidelines about benzos are is stressing me out really bad. I have been hitting my Xanax hard ( no need to worry )

Honestly I just wish I could sleep 24/7

I am just so over everything

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Default May 03, 2021 at 06:32 AM
  #849
I'm just so extremely sad that I couldn't help crying. My husband's best friend is still so utterly sick with covid-19, and definitely seems delirious. He has contacted his main contacts in Czech Republic (in addition to my husband) telling them what he needs their help with after he dies. And in addition to this, he keeps asking people in Czech Republic, including my husband, to go to the US and bring him to Czech Republic to come here to a hospital. Obviously that's not possible and the request itself shows his delirium. My husband has been in contact with the other two main contacts here in CZ. His wife has taken him to their local hospital in New Jersey three times, but they keep sending him home because his lungs seem fine. I told my husband that if it were me so sick, that he (my husband) would have taken me to New York Presbyterian Hospital by now. My husband agreed that he would have. It is heart-breaking that his friend is experiencing so much mental anguish. It's just beyond horrible! Both my husband and I read online that neurological issues are not uncommon as a result of covid. I just hope that his friend (assuming he will live) won't have any lasting neurological damage.

Today will likely be my last session with my American psychiatrist, via video session, after 14 years knowing him. That in itself would be a stressful and cry-provoking thing, but there is just so much going on. Unless my American psychiatrist starts seeing me for free or on a generous sliding scale. For those unfamiliar with me, I do have a new psychiatrist in CZ. It's not that I have none.

Last edited by Soupe du jour; May 03, 2021 at 07:40 AM..
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Default May 03, 2021 at 09:24 AM
  #850
@Soupe du jour:

So sorry to read that your husband's friend is doing so poorly with COVID. Perhaps the fact that they keep sending him home from the hospital indicates that his physical health is not that bad? Perhaps it's mostly a mental issue that will pass? That's my guess anyways. Hate to think his hospital would turn away a genuinely gravely physically ill patient. And you've said yourself, different people have different pain thresholds. Yours is very high. Perhaps this man's is low and he is panicking over something not that dire. Anyway, hope the situation is resolved soon.

Today you say goodbye to your American psychiatrist of many years. It will be another sad moment. You've had a wonderful relationship with him tho and i'm sure you will remember each other fondly.

Ta!

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Default May 03, 2021 at 10:13 AM
  #851
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My friend whom I haven't seen in several years wants to come see me. At first he said Wednesday then I said I have my 2nd covid shot that day. He replied that he's not vaccinated - and not planning on being so - and he doesn't want me to "shed" around him. So then he told me that his unvaccinated son just moved back in with him after a month of being gone and that they're working construction together. I told him that I don't want to get together anymore after he is so un social distanced and having his son who is not vaccinated either contributing to spreading covid. It's too bad because I really want to see him again but not if he's scaring me about covid. And he can only come this week not after I get my second shot so oh well.

Good for you for being straightforward! And for taking care of yourself!

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Default May 03, 2021 at 10:16 AM
  #852
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Originally Posted by ~Christina View Post
I dont feel any better about the way things ended with my Pdoc. All the uncertainty about the NP and what her guidelines about benzos are is stressing me out really bad. I have been hitting my Xanax hard ( no need to worry )

Honestly I just wish I could sleep 24/7

I am just so over everything

Hugs to anyone in need

I am so, so sorry Christina. I wish there was some way I could help you

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Default May 03, 2021 at 10:17 AM
  #853
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Originally Posted by Soupe du jour View Post
I'm just so extremely sad that I couldn't help crying. My husband's best friend is still so utterly sick with covid-19, and definitely seems delirious. He has contacted his main contacts in Czech Republic (in addition to my husband) telling them what he needs their help with after he dies. And in addition to this, he keeps asking people in Czech Republic, including my husband, to go to the US and bring him to Czech Republic to come here to a hospital. Obviously that's not possible and the request itself shows his delirium. My husband has been in contact with the other two main contacts here in CZ. His wife has taken him to their local hospital in New Jersey three times, but they keep sending him home because his lungs seem fine. I told my husband that if it were me so sick, that he (my husband) would have taken me to New York Presbyterian Hospital by now. My husband agreed that he would have. It is heart-breaking that his friend is experiencing so much mental anguish. It's just beyond horrible! Both my husband and I read online that neurological issues are not uncommon as a result of covid. I just hope that his friend (assuming he will live) won't have any lasting neurological damage.

Today will likely be my last session with my American psychiatrist, via video session, after 14 years knowing him. That in itself would be a stressful and cry-provoking thing, but there is just so much going on. Unless my American psychiatrist starts seeing me for free or on a generous sliding scale. For those unfamiliar with me, I do have a new psychiatrist in CZ. It's not that I have none.

I'm sending you strength and hugs.

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Default May 03, 2021 at 11:55 AM
  #854
I'm still not feeling well. The anxiety has turned into something that feels suspiciously like depression. I'm not tired, but I'd love to just sleep the day away. When I do sleep at night, I keep waking up & am ready to rise at 6:00 (I'm usually up quite late). This morning I took a Klonopin so I could get back to sleep & settle my nerves. I know that's not the prescribed usage, but that's what I did.

When I went to see my pdoc last Tuesday, he did something that really pissed me off. When I explained what I've been experiencing, he asked if I've been drinking or drugging...which, for those of you who've read my posts, know isn't a problem for me anymore. I just feel he doesn't take me seriously sometimes.
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Default May 03, 2021 at 12:18 PM
  #855
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I'm still not feeling well. The anxiety has turned into something that feels suspiciously like depression. I'm not tired, but I'd love to just sleep the day away. When I do sleep at night, I keep waking up & am ready to rise at 6:00 (I'm usually up quite late). This morning I took a Klonopin so I could get back to sleep & settle my nerves. I know that's not the prescribed usage, but that's what I did.

When I went to see my pdoc last Tuesday, he did something that really pissed me off. When I explained what I've been experiencing, he asked if I've been drinking or drugging...which, for those of you who've read my posts, know isn't a problem for me anymore. I just feel he doesn't take me seriously sometimes.

I'm very surprised, and dismayed, that your pdoc didn't make any changes to your medications, given that your mental state has not been too well for quite a long time.

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Default May 03, 2021 at 02:44 PM
  #856
So sorry so many here are going though pretty tough times. Times aren’t tough for me but I’ve been edgy, tears and irritability is going up. I had planed to shower today. To that end I hadn’t gotten dressed. Was waiting for the noon news then thought I’d shower while mum watched tv. But she asked me to take her to a place to sign papers. Then I took her to the store to get her otc meds. She wanted to use her credit card and had lots of problems because the customer has to input info. Mum is used to handing the card to the teller. Then we went to eat out. That was good. Fish and broccoli. Yum. And a piece of cheesecake to bring home. I don’t know why I’m shaky. I could use a real bath tub for a long soak. With bath oils and lavender.

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Default May 03, 2021 at 03:04 PM
  #857
@Nammu:

Sorry to read you are feeling shaky and rough. Happy to hear about your meal out with your mom tho. I love dining out. A special bath sounds wonderful! Hope you feel better soon.

Ta!

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Default May 03, 2021 at 04:11 PM
  #858
My sleep schedule is really getting out-of-control. I got up at 3:45am this morning. I went to bed at 8:00pm tho, like a little kid. So that's almost eight hours, just at an unusual time slot. I'd like to keep up the ultra-early mornings tho as it's better for dieting. It was my first day at 8mg of Valium in my benzo taper but i don't really think that's the cause of the early waking. I think it's more my mood going up with the Spring as per usual for me with the seasons. The benzo taper might be exacerbating the sleep disturbance tho.

I got my name on the radio today! I've been listening to morning radio lately and today they had a comedian on to make fun abut Mother's Day and listeners were asked to contact them with the name of their favorite comedian. So i texted in Bo Burnham and said he was super talented and very naughty. I guess they liked that because they announced my name and Bo's! I was so thrilled! I heard it over my one earbud as we were walking the dogs at that time. I was overjoyed!

Today was Day 12 of my diet and i made a booboo. I was a day-dreamer and a silly-heart and ate a bag of chips at 1040 cals. It was because i was so frazzled and wanted some comfort. I was upset because of making arrangements for my dogs dental care over the next two days, the phone calls, emails and texts flying and also because of the abrupt change in hours and because of the excitement with the radio. It was after a small breakfast and lunch tho so i skipped dinner and wound up with about 1600 cals for the day so far from my goal of 1200 but not terrible.

Once again, i'd like to invite all who care to join me over on the overeating/binge-eating forum here.

Hugs to all!


Last edited by Anonymous41462; May 03, 2021 at 05:30 PM..
 
 
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Default May 03, 2021 at 05:39 PM
  #859
This morning I went grocery shopping at the "big, scary store." My husband urges me to shop there because the prices are lower there than at the store where I prefer to shop (which is a more intimate, gourmet-type store). I fully agree that we need to save $ so I made it to and through the large store. Yay me.

Sleepy! For many months I have not been able to fall asleep for about 2 hours after I get into bed. It's wearing on me. I take 12.5mg Seroquel and usually either melatonin or ZzzQuil. None of them seem to do much anymore, and I refuse to raise my Seroquel dose because I have so much physical damage from the stuff.


88 degrees today and beautiful!

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Default May 03, 2021 at 07:38 PM
  #860
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Originally Posted by BethRags View Post


Good for you for being straightforward! And for taking care of yourself!
My 2nd shot is Wednesday morning. Then I plan on staying home in case I feel bad or tired.

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