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Old 05-03-2021, 09:42 PM   #861
Jennifer 1967
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Default Re: Bipolar Check-In Thread #55

Iím all kinds of busy trying to get out of town to attend graduation and spend my daughterís birthday with her. As Murphyís Law would have it, my brother fell in the hall and he is messed up. He canít walk unassisted and I dread to think what might be damaged. He wouldnít go to the hospital because of COVID and the earliest I could get him in to see an orthopedic specialist is this Wednesday. Iíve done everything I can to keep him comfortable but his tears are undoing me. Wednesday canít get here fast enough for me. I pray he is okay. He already deals with an unhealing wound on his foot. He doesnít deserve this as well. Nobody does.

Iím tremendously stressed out for that and other reasons. I know there are several people having a tough time right now. I send hugs and supportive vibes.
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Old 05-04-2021, 03:45 AM   #862
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Default Re: Bipolar Check-In Thread #55

buddah1too, it's starting to be a long time that you've felt unwell. I agree with BethRags that it is a shame that your psychiatrist treated you as they did. Unless I'm remembering wrong, haven't you been sober for quite a while now? I think it is unfair that your doctor would question that. You have bipolar disorder. Sometimes psychiatrists get overly obsessed with addiction. I know that well. It took me a while in order to get some providers to realize that that wasn't my main issue anymore, not that it was my CORE issue in the past, either. Would you consider contacting your pdoc's office to let them know your bipolar wasn't sufficiently addressed?

Nammu, I hope you finally got a peaceful bath. Or will soon get one. That's nice that you helped out your mom. You should feel good about that.

BethRags, I know what you mean about wanting to only go to low stress places. I know when I've had to go to busier joints, I've become quite anxious. Usually my husband went with me (and always goes with me now). Sometimes I've asked him if I can step outside for a bit to regroup. I used to do that. If you go with your husband, is that something you might do when you go to the busier store?

Moose72, I'm glad to read that you are getting your 2nd vaccination. Seeing how sick people can get from covid, I wish everyone would go get vaccinated.

Jennifer, congratulations to your daughter on her graduation! What a wonderful accomplishment. Also, I hope your brother recovers quickly.
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Old 05-04-2021, 03:53 AM   #863
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Default Re: Bipolar Check-In Thread #55

My husband and I managed to get some business-related stuff done relating to my SSDI, but not everything. It appears to get the rest done we either have to go to Warsaw, Poland (they can't do what I want in Czech Republic) or in the US (which we don't plan to visit for a while). Oh well. We'll be OK for the time being.

At the end of my video session with my American psychiatrist yesterday, he wouldn't let me say goodbye. He told me to send him updates by email in the coming weeks. No charge. I felt good about that. He's so kind. He is already working from him office again, as opposed to his home. It was nice to see the art in the background that I was familiar with. Coincidentally, the painting I saw was of a building in my childhood hometown. He looked great. Healthier than he had, after his knee surgery. I told him so. It was as I always remembered him. Back when I was still in the US, he told me that I should stop by his office after the pandemic, when I visit the US. I will certainly want to do that. He's been like a father to me, in a sense.

Last edited by Soupe du jour; 05-04-2021 at 07:29 AM..
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Old 05-04-2021, 11:42 AM   #864
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Default Re: Bipolar Check-In Thread #55

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Originally Posted by Soupe du jour View Post
buddah1too, it's starting to be a long time that you've felt unwell. I agree with BethRags that it is a shame that your psychiatrist treated you as they did. Unless I'm remembering wrong, haven't you been sober for quite a while now? I think it is unfair that your doctor would question that. You have bipolar disorder. Sometimes psychiatrists get overly obsessed with addiction. I know that well. It took me a while in order to get some providers to realize that that wasn't my main issue anymore, not that it was my CORE issue in the past, either. Would you consider contacting your pdoc's office to let them know your bipolar wasn't sufficiently addressed?
Things have reached that point -- I kind of feel like I'm crawling out of my own skin right now. I've been sober almost 20 years, so it blew me out of the water when he suggested drinking might be an issue. I have APs & ADs available, but my pdoc can't seem to give me any advice as to what to do. Things have gone off the rails where my relationship with him has gone. Finding another pdoc in this market is out of the question, too.
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Old 05-04-2021, 11:49 AM   #865
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...
BethRags, I know what you mean about wanting to only go to low stress places. I know when I've had to go to busier joints, I've become quite anxious. Usually my husband went with me (and always goes with me now). Sometimes I've asked him if I can step outside for a bit to regroup. I used to do that. If you go with your husband, is that something you might do when you go to the busier store?
...

I had to have my husband take me grocery shopping while my achilles was healing. Haha, no thanks. I was immensely relieved to shop by myself, then tell him about my "adventure" later
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Old 05-04-2021, 11:50 AM   #866
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My husband and I managed to get some business-related stuff done relating to my SSDI, but not everything. It appears to get the rest done we either have to go to Warsaw, Poland (they can't do what I want in Czech Republic) or in the US (which we don't plan to visit for a while). Oh well. We'll be OK for the time being.

At the end of my video session with my American psychiatrist yesterday, he wouldn't let me say goodbye. He told me to send him updates by email in the coming weeks. No charge. I felt good about that. He's so kind. He is already working from him office again, as opposed to his home. It was nice to see the art in the background that I was familiar with. Coincidentally, the painting I saw was of a building in my childhood hometown. He looked great. Healthier than he had, after his knee surgery. I told him so. It was as I always remembered him. Back when I was still in the US, he told me that I should stop by his office after the pandemic, when I visit the US. I will certainly want to do that. He's been like a father to me, in a sense.

What a blessing of a relationship!
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Old 05-04-2021, 12:48 PM   #867
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Victory! I went to binge again and i stopped after a few mouthfuls and threw my binge-food-of-choice down the garbage chute! Now, just not to buy it in the first place... Baby steps! The trigger was i had just finished some hectic work. That seems to be the problem. I do work and then feel i deserve something. Not sure what to do instead. Ideas?

Ta!

Jane.

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Old 05-04-2021, 01:35 PM   #868
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I called my pdoc and have a telephone appointment at 11:40 tomorrow. I hate to have another co-pay since I just saw him last week, but I need to get this cleared up. My next appointment wasn't until July. I could have had an in-person meeting, but didn't want to. I'm afraid I'll go off on him.

Last edited by FooZe; 05-04-2021 at 02:29 PM.. Reason: Administrative edit to bring within guidelines
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Old 05-04-2021, 02:54 PM   #869
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@buddha1too:

So glad to read you are getting some attention quickly.

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Old 05-04-2021, 02:59 PM   #870
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I think one thing i can do as a harm-reduction measure is to get some fruit to eat when i've done some hard work and feel i deserve some pleasure. Since my dentist painted a protective substance on my worn-down back teeth i've been able to eat fruit again. I love raspberries, grapes, oranges, almost all fruit except bananas. Sound like a good idea?

Ta!

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Old 05-04-2021, 03:46 PM   #871
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My last post got edited by administrators because it was inappropriate. I apologize if I offended anyone...in retrospect, I think I offended myself. I don't mean to make excuses, but feeling as I do right now makes me vulnerable to stupidity.
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Old 05-04-2021, 03:49 PM   #872
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I think one thing i can do as a harm-reduction measure is to get some fruit to eat when i've done some hard work and feel i deserve some pleasure. Since my dentist painted a protective substance on my worn-down back teeth i've been able to eat fruit again. I love raspberries, grapes, oranges, almost all fruit except bananas. Sound like a good idea?

Ta!

Jane.


Sure! One of the best things I have ever purchased was a smoothie maker. It's basically a really small blender with a cup for smoothies. I make all kinds of smoothies! They're delicious and healthy.
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Old 05-04-2021, 03:51 PM   #873
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My last post got edited by administrators because it was inappropriate. I apologize if I offended anyone...in retrospect, I think I offended myself. I don't mean to make excuses, but feeling as I do right now makes me vulnerable to stupidity.

I didn't see anything objectionable in your last post, so no worry. I did see that you've scheduled an appointment with your psychiatrist. I know the co-pay sucks, but good for you! Obviously, you need some med changes.
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Old 05-04-2021, 03:56 PM   #874
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My last post got edited by administrators because it was inappropriate. I apologize if I offended anyone...in retrospect, I think I offended myself. I don't mean to make excuses, but feeling as I do right now makes me vulnerable to stupidity.
I didnít see anything objectionable either, but Iím old and hard to shock.
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Old 05-04-2021, 06:35 PM   #875
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I treasure my cats; they are precious to me. They are my family. They live entirely indoors where I can keep them as safe as possible. My apartment manager just knocked on my door to tell me that a little orange stray cat that hung around here, and that he feeds, was run over. The guy was crying. I felt awful for him, and for that poor cat that someone abandoned.

Now I feel sad.
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Old 05-04-2021, 06:48 PM   #876
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Oh, that is sad. My guy has no interest in going outside. Iím secretly very happy about that.
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Old 05-04-2021, 11:37 PM   #877
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I'm just so extremely sad that I couldn't help crying. My husband's best friend is still so utterly sick with covid-19, and definitely seems delirious. He has contacted his main contacts in Czech Republic (in addition to my husband) telling them what he needs their help with after he dies. And in addition to this, he keeps asking people in Czech Republic, including my husband, to go to the US and bring him to Czech Republic to come here to a hospital. Obviously that's not possible and the request itself shows his delirium. My husband has been in contact with the other two main contacts here in CZ. His wife has taken him to their local hospital in New Jersey three times, but they keep sending him home because his lungs seem fine. I told my husband that if it were me so sick, that he (my husband) would have taken me to New York Presbyterian Hospital by now. My husband agreed that he would have. It is heart-breaking that his friend is experiencing so much mental anguish. It's just beyond horrible! Both my husband and I read online that neurological issues are not uncommon as a result of covid. I just hope that his friend (assuming he will live) won't have any lasting neurological damage.

Today will likely be my last session with my American psychiatrist, via video session, after 14 years knowing him. That in itself would be a stressful and cry-provoking thing, but there is just so much going on. Unless my American psychiatrist starts seeing me for free or on a generous sliding scale. For those unfamiliar with me, I do have a new psychiatrist in CZ. It's not that I have none.
I am so sorry about your friend.. What a terrible situation to be in.. I hope he will recover from Covid.. I hope that your Pdoc here in the states will be able to continue to be of support to you
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Old 05-04-2021, 11:41 PM   #878
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Iím all kinds of busy trying to get out of town to attend graduation and spend my daughterís birthday with her. As Murphyís Law would have it, my brother fell in the hall and he is messed up. He canít walk unassisted and I dread to think what might be damaged. He wouldnít go to the hospital because of COVID and the earliest I could get him in to see an orthopedic specialist is this Wednesday. Iíve done everything I can to keep him comfortable but his tears are undoing me. Wednesday canít get here fast enough for me. I pray he is okay. He already deals with an unhealing wound on his foot. He doesnít deserve this as well. Nobody does.

Iím tremendously stressed out for that and other reasons. I know there are several people having a tough time right now. I send hugs and supportive vibes.
Oh Jennifer I'm so sorry things are so stressful right now and then your brother falling.. Do you have plans for M on her Birthday? Anything specific ?

Loads of hugs your way
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Old 05-04-2021, 11:58 PM   #879
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We had a big storm front move through this am ( Tuesday) and around Nashville there was 10 Tornadoes ! all rated EF 0 but oh the damage and one woman lost her life when a tree fell onto her home, So very sad. We just got nasty wind and rain, This afternoon we had another round of storms, but nothing severe. Spring in TN is awful when these storms come across.

I'm still upset well more rage-y about the situation with my Pdoc. I have an appt with my T next Wednesday.. So needed ! then I see my Cardiologist 2 days later, probably need another damn pill !!!

Honestly the only thing that is helping me lately is sitting on my porch with my dogs. Our puppy " Gus" Oh I swear he is such a goof ball, Huge personality.. I need to try and post a recent picture of him..

My Daughter is booking a flight this week to come up in June ! I have not seen her since a year ago Christmas.. We will be a sobbing mess.

To everyone struggling I hope you can find at least moments of peace and things star to improve.. Thats how I am trying to manage my messy life right now..

Loads of hugs to all
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Old 05-05-2021, 03:38 AM   #880
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My last post got edited by administrators because it was inappropriate. I apologize if I offended anyone...in retrospect, I think I offended myself. I don't mean to make excuses, but feeling as I do right now makes me vulnerable to stupidity.

I think many of us have had administrators edit us. I've had some of my posts removed or edited in the past. I've also had several posts of mine that I wished I could edit/delete, but it was too late.

My friend, when the time comes that you really need to get something out that could be against Terms & Conditions, you can always PM me. I don't mind cursing or other rough stuff.
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