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Fuzzybear
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Default Apr 07, 2021 at 02:10 PM
  #21
Quote:
Originally Posted by bizi View Post
Please try to work the system to make it work for you.
try to imagine your self as a princess who deserves to be treated well and know that you are beautiful just the way you are.
bizi
Good post

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Default Apr 11, 2021 at 10:11 PM
  #22
I’m being ripped apart with anxiety. I talk to my T on Tuesday that’s probably why I’m feeling a little better.I stayed home all day Friday by myself and didn’t freak out. Even after they were hours late and the car broke down. I hate how I don’t know how to put words to the feelings. I get nervous and shut down conversations. My head’s loud at night. I’ve had some serious conversations with my husband these past couple of days.

We worked out a meal plan we both can agree with. I got the meal supplement today and I’m mad because my mom was like it’s not X right because that makes you gain a lot of weight? I mean come on she knows I struggle with food. I just sent her a picture of it and stopped saying anything to her. There are several reasons I’m trying to lose weight. However the meal replacement was/is because I don’t get enough protein/vitamins. I’m overweight and malnourished. I want to be like “this is why XYZ, mom”. I’m trying to give her grace that my issues are biological and not directly her fault but I’m still mad.

I’ve been getting mad very easily. H says it’s all warranted but I’m not generally an angry person, it has me concerned. I’m getting too angry for me to handle, with my loud head, anxiety, eating habits, and bank account dwindling I’m getting concerned. I’m really angry!!!!

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Red face Apr 13, 2021 at 12:27 PM
  #23
I am proud of you taking your meds!
keep it up!
bizi

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Default Apr 13, 2021 at 02:22 PM
  #24
I just talked to my therapist and almost when I p. Apparently I'm still pretty depressed. I don't think a lot of those questions at Fair given the other things that I have also. She wants me to create a routine, be kind to myself, and try meditation. She put me on the call back list so if she doesn't hear from me in a while she'll call. She wants me to look up my medicine so I'm sure that there's no calories in it.

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Smile Apr 17, 2021 at 11:16 PM
  #25
She sounds like she really cares about you.
bizi

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150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night,
4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation


multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon
PRN Remeron 15mg at night,
zyprexa10mg under tongue,
requip2mg.





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Default Apr 18, 2021 at 11:22 PM
  #26
She doesn't know enough about me but I'm hopeful.

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Default Apr 21, 2021 at 11:47 PM
  #27
Well I have a new t. I am a train wreck. No one deserves what I put him through. He said if I'm ever say that I want a divorce he'd still be friends knowing it came from a place of sickness. I just want to be normal. Why isn't love enough. I want to be able to breathe. I want to be self destructive. I want to let all my energy out. If I tell they won't switch meds I'll be ip. So I'll be good and wait until I talk to new T. I'm an adult my husband doesn't need to babysit me. I have a plan. Just need to act normal. It's only two days before I see reg dr.

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Default Apr 22, 2021 at 03:02 PM
  #28
I am sad when you beat up on yourself, Mm. Clearly, you are doing all possible to help yourself. Taking your meds every day is a HUGE accomplishment! And you have a nice support system that you have created.

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Default Apr 22, 2021 at 03:45 PM
  #29
I'm not as negative today I called the pdoc. He told me I can visit him any time tuesdays and thursdays. He through me on Thorazine (100mg) and Vistaril (3x a day) along with my other medications. He said I will feel drugged for a couple of days but the Vistaril is like tick tacks. They're doing nothing. Don't worry H is keeping my medication. I don't know when my next appointment with pdoc is but I feel so much better being responsible and he didn't through me IP. That wasn't even on his mind Maybe next time it'll be easier to make the call. I don't know what to do with all this energy. I still want to be destructive but I can wait it out. PLUS no drinking for me. apparently drinking is bad with these meds. I'm scared of the thorazine. I'm also scared of telling other dr.'s I'm on thorazine and another AP. Am I really this ****ed up? Is sanity really worth all these drug? I'm only doing this because I realize my thinking is off.

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Default Apr 22, 2021 at 07:49 PM
  #30
I'm glad to hear about the thorazine. As for the Vistoril, everyone's different of course, but the stuff was a total waste for me.

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