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Default Mar 24, 2021 at 06:34 PM
  #1
So I almost asked for a divorce because.... Well I'm a train wreck. Then almost went IP. When do you accept this is as good as it gets? That your not Nero Typical and "The world not being on fire" Is as good as you can hope for. That you're not going to complete school, your not going to get an awesome full-time job or many of the "normal" things.

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Default Mar 24, 2021 at 07:37 PM
  #2
I hear you! I'm never going to have a great satisfying career. (I tried twice or three times actually to get a degree in something I might like but no deal. I was rejected or I couldn't hack the work brain wise.)

P.S. Don't get a divorce on a whim. I did that- may have been manic actually- and lots of times I regret it even though I regret it and it will be 20 years in a couple years!

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Default Mar 24, 2021 at 08:40 PM
  #3
I'm lucky I didn't say it. That phrase is an automatic emergency appointment with all Therapists in our family.

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Red face Mar 24, 2021 at 09:03 PM
  #4
Quote:
Originally Posted by Miguel'smom View Post
So I almost asked for a divorce because.... Well I'm a train wreck. Then almost went IP. When do you accept this is as good as it gets? That your not Nero Typical and "The world not being on fire" Is as good as you can hope for. That you're not going to complete school, your not going to get an awesome full-time job or many of the "normal" things.

I have discovered a way to take capsules. bend you head down and sip a lot of water then the pills float to the top and you just swallow them. they go down easy that way, it just works on capsules though.
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Default Mar 24, 2021 at 09:03 PM
  #5
Maybe you need an emergency therapist appointment? That and thinking about IP are usually warning signs for you.

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Default Mar 24, 2021 at 09:10 PM
  #6
Crisis mode can be a dangerous space. BeyondtheRainbow is right to suggest that an emergency appointment might help you right the ship, so to speak. I wish I could offer more suggestions, but it seems others know your situation better than I. Try to hang in there.
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Default Mar 24, 2021 at 09:58 PM
  #7
Quote:
Originally Posted by Miguel'smom View Post
So I almost asked for a divorce because.... Well I'm a train wreck. Then almost went IP. When do you accept this is as good as it gets? That your not Nero Typical and "The world not being on fire" Is as good as you can hope for. That you're not going to complete school, your not going to get an awesome full-time job or many of the "normal" things.
I feel this so much!
And I often feel like a train wreck due to bp too... you aren’t alone 🖤

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Default Mar 24, 2021 at 10:48 PM
  #8
I'm being really careful because I know those are red flags for me. I don't even know what to say to T. " Hi you don't know me but I almost destroyed my life this week because... I'm depressed? I guess." She gets really easily frustrated with me and tends to cut our sessions short because I don't know what to talk about.

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Default Mar 24, 2021 at 10:59 PM
  #9
That's exactly what you say to your therapist. Word for word. It's hard. I've had to say some really hard things to my therapist lately and it was hard. But he helped me and I felt better for making myself talk to him.

It's not easy to jump in hard with a new therapist. When I got this one my prior one of 3.5 years left with 4 weeks notice. We had to jump in with the change except almost immediately I went into a bad hypo episode with lithium toxicity and I was off meds for a while because we couldn't figure out what was making me sick. I wound up on disability for about 6 months and all of this was before we were used to each other at all.

It sounds like you need to talk to her about what to talk about when you run out of topics. My therapist and I have been together so long we have lots to chat about when there are huge pauses or I need a break from a tough topic but back in the beginning that wasn't the case but we didn't chat and get to know each other very gradually.

The therapist is there for you. So is the pdoc. Avoiding them only makes you sicker.

You can do it. Just make the call. Then go from there. One step at a time.

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Default Mar 25, 2021 at 12:36 AM
  #10
Quote:
Originally Posted by Miguel'smom View Post
So I almost asked for a divorce because.... Well I'm a train wreck. Then almost went IP. When do you accept this is as good as it gets? That your not Nero Typical and "The world not being on fire" Is as good as you can hope for. That you're not going to complete school, your not going to get an awesome full-time job or many of the "normal" things.
I couldn't begin to tell you. People want me to accept my miserable life is the best I can get and I should just accept it. NO! I will keep on trying to find better for as long as I live. I'm a train wreck, too, and a burden. I still don't deserve how I'm treated by so many people. Don't give up, and don't let anyone tell you you should. If you need to sleep away a day (or days), do it. Keep trying to think of ways you can find the life you want, though. You deserve to be happy.

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Default Mar 25, 2021 at 04:39 PM
  #11
So my appointment is in 3.5 weeks and it's every 2 weeks after that for the next 6 weeks. I'm not going to argue over weekly when I don't know this person. Obviously they are too busy to care about notes. It's better than nothing. I see pdoc in end of May.

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Default Mar 29, 2021 at 11:02 PM
  #12
If it’s something that you truly want and not just something others want of you, it’s never worth giving up on.
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Default Mar 30, 2021 at 01:10 PM
  #13
I figure every other week until I get to know her and then switch to every week if that's something we both agree on.

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Heart Mar 30, 2021 at 08:08 PM
  #14
sending good thoughts your way.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

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Default Mar 31, 2021 at 02:30 PM
  #15
Thank-you Bizi. I think I'm doing better. I get my injection tomorrow. I need to shower tonight. I'm kinda just laying around. I didn't crawl out of bed until after 7 pm yesterday. I wasn't sleeping just didn't want to move. I'm just such a mess I don't no what to do. I don't feel "bad" I'm just tired of this.

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Heart Mar 31, 2021 at 07:40 PM
  #16
Please try to work the system to make it work for you.
try to imagine your self as a princess who deserves to be treated well and know that you are beautiful just the way you are.
bizi

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zyprexa10mg under tongue,
requip2mg.





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Default Apr 01, 2021 at 04:14 PM
  #17
^^ This! ^^

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Default Apr 01, 2021 at 05:11 PM
  #18
I braved my injection. I didn't say anything to her. I talked to my husband last night. He want's me to elaborate on I don't know when I say that. That I tend to shut down conversations I'm really good at that especially when I'm nervous.

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Default Apr 02, 2021 at 03:57 PM
  #19
im glad you got your shot .. Take it one day at a time

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Default Apr 03, 2021 at 12:17 AM
  #20
After an eventful night. I realize I'm not as much of a train wreck as I thought. Now to stop the self destructive thoughts.

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