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Victoria'smom
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#1
So I almost asked for a divorce because.... Well I'm a train wreck. Then almost went IP. When do you accept this is as good as it gets? That your not Nero Typical and "The world not being on fire" Is as good as you can hope for. That you're not going to complete school, your not going to get an awesome full-time job or many of the "normal" things.
__________________ Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
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Anonymous41462, BeyondtheRainbow, Bipolarchic14, bizi, buddha1too, daladico, Fuzzybear, gina_re, simplydivine1030, unaluna
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Silver Swan
Moose72
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#2
I hear you! I'm never going to have a great satisfying career. (I tried twice or three times actually to get a degree in something I might like but no deal. I was rejected or I couldn't hack the work brain wise.)
P.S. Don't get a divorce on a whim. I did that- may have been manic actually- and lots of times I regret it even though I regret it and it will be 20 years in a couple years! __________________ Wellbutrin XL 300 mg Caplyta 42 mg Ingrezza 80 mg Ativan .5 mg 2x/day Propranolol 20 mg 2x/day Mania (December 2023) Mixed episode/Hypomania (September 2023) Depression, Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts (September 2021) Depression & Psychosis (July/August 2021) Mania (April/May 2019) |
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Anonymous41462, bizi, buddha1too, unaluna
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Legendary
Victoria'smom
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Location: Earth
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#3
I'm lucky I didn't say it. That phrase is an automatic emergency appointment with all Therapists in our family.
__________________ Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
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Anonymous41462, bizi, unaluna
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bizi
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Bizi is bizi
bizi
happines is a decision
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#4
Quote:
I have discovered a way to take capsules. bend you head down and sip a lot of water then the pills float to the top and you just swallow them. they go down easy that way, it just works on capsules though. bizi bizi __________________ 150mg of lamictal 2x a day haldol 5mg 2x a day 1mg of cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, 4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon PRN Remeron 15mg at night, zyprexa10mg under tongue, requip2mg. |
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BeyondtheRainbow
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#5
Maybe you need an emergency therapist appointment? That and thinking about IP are usually warning signs for you.
__________________ Bipolar 1, PTSD, GAD, OCD. Clozapine 250 mg, Emsam 12 mg/day patch, topamax 25 mg, ,Gabapentin 1700 mg & 100-2 PRN,. 1.5 mg clonazepam., 50 mg Seroquel |
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Anonymous41462, bizi
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buddha1too
We are all Buddhas becoming.
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#6
Crisis mode can be a dangerous space. BeyondtheRainbow is right to suggest that an emergency appointment might help you right the ship, so to speak. I wish I could offer more suggestions, but it seems others know your situation better than I. Try to hang in there.
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Anonymous41462, bizi
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daladico
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#7
Quote:
And I often feel like a train wreck due to bp too... you aren’t alone 🖤 __________________ Dx: Bipolar Anxiety ADD Meds: Risperidone Tegretol Abilify Zoloft Buspar Adderall [prior meds: lithium, lamictal, cymbalta, ritalin] |
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Legendary
Victoria'smom
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Location: Earth
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#8
I'm being really careful because I know those are red flags for me. I don't even know what to say to T. " Hi you don't know me but I almost destroyed my life this week because... I'm depressed? I guess." She gets really easily frustrated with me and tends to cut our sessions short because I don't know what to talk about.
__________________ Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
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BeyondtheRainbow
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#9
That's exactly what you say to your therapist. Word for word. It's hard. I've had to say some really hard things to my therapist lately and it was hard. But he helped me and I felt better for making myself talk to him.
It's not easy to jump in hard with a new therapist. When I got this one my prior one of 3.5 years left with 4 weeks notice. We had to jump in with the change except almost immediately I went into a bad hypo episode with lithium toxicity and I was off meds for a while because we couldn't figure out what was making me sick. I wound up on disability for about 6 months and all of this was before we were used to each other at all. It sounds like you need to talk to her about what to talk about when you run out of topics. My therapist and I have been together so long we have lots to chat about when there are huge pauses or I need a break from a tough topic but back in the beginning that wasn't the case but we didn't chat and get to know each other very gradually. The therapist is there for you. So is the pdoc. Avoiding them only makes you sicker. You can do it. Just make the call. Then go from there. One step at a time. __________________ Bipolar 1, PTSD, GAD, OCD. Clozapine 250 mg, Emsam 12 mg/day patch, topamax 25 mg, ,Gabapentin 1700 mg & 100-2 PRN,. 1.5 mg clonazepam., 50 mg Seroquel |
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Anonymous41462, bizi
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*Beth*, buddha1too, Victoria'smom
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Pirate Goddess
Maven
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#10
Quote:
Sent from my SM-N975U1 using Tapatalk __________________ Maven If I had a dollar for every time I got distracted, I wish I had some ice cream. Equal Rights Are Not Special Rights |
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*Beth*, Anonymous41462, bizi, buddha1too, daladico, Victoria'smom
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*Beth*, abigrand, bizi, buddha1too, daladico, Victoria'smom
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Legendary
Victoria'smom
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Location: Earth
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#11
So my appointment is in 3.5 weeks and it's every 2 weeks after that for the next 6 weeks. I'm not going to argue over weekly when I don't know this person. Obviously they are too busy to care about notes. It's better than nothing. I see pdoc in end of May.
__________________ Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
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BeyondtheRainbow, bizi
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Poohbah
Bipolarchic14
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#12
If it’s something that you truly want and not just something others want of you, it’s never worth giving up on.
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Anonymous41462, bizi
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Legendary
Victoria'smom
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#13
I figure every other week until I get to know her and then switch to every week if that's something we both agree on.
__________________ Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
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*Beth*, Anonymous41462, bizi
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Bizi is bizi
bizi
happines is a decision
Member Since: Nov 2005
Location: cajun country
Posts: 10,830
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#14
sending good thoughts your way.
(((((HUGS))))) bizi __________________ 150mg of lamictal 2x a day haldol 5mg 2x a day 1mg of cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, 4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon PRN Remeron 15mg at night, zyprexa10mg under tongue, requip2mg. |
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Anonymous41462
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Legendary
Victoria'smom
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Location: Earth
Posts: 14,880
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5,415 hugs
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#15
Thank-you Bizi. I think I'm doing better. I get my injection tomorrow. I need to shower tonight. I'm kinda just laying around. I didn't crawl out of bed until after 7 pm yesterday. I wasn't sleeping just didn't want to move. I'm just such a mess I don't no what to do. I don't feel "bad" I'm just tired of this.
__________________ Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
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*Beth*, Anonymous41462, bizi, buddha1too, unaluna
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bizi
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Bizi is bizi
bizi
happines is a decision
Member Since: Nov 2005
Location: cajun country
Posts: 10,830
43.6k hugs
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#16
Please try to work the system to make it work for you.
try to imagine your self as a princess who deserves to be treated well and know that you are beautiful just the way you are. bizi __________________ 150mg of lamictal 2x a day haldol 5mg 2x a day 1mg of cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, 4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon PRN Remeron 15mg at night, zyprexa10mg under tongue, requip2mg. |
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Anonymous41462
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*Beth*, Fuzzybear
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catches the flowers
*Beth*
is practicing healthy breathing for brain, mind,
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#17
^^ This! ^^
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Legendary
Victoria'smom
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#18
I braved my injection. I didn't say anything to her. I talked to my husband last night. He want's me to elaborate on I don't know when I say that. That I tend to shut down conversations I'm really good at that especially when I'm nervous.
__________________ Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
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Legendary Wise Elder
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~Christina
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#19
im glad you got your shot .. Take it one day at a time
__________________ Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
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Legendary
Victoria'smom
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Member Since: Apr 2012
Location: Earth
Posts: 14,880
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5,415 hugs
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#20
After an eventful night. I realize I'm not as much of a train wreck as I thought. Now to stop the self destructive thoughts.
__________________ Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
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*Beth*, Anonymous41462, bizi, Fuzzybear
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