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Elder
Miss Laura
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Member Since: Sep 2008
Location: Scotland, UK
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#1
So yesterday was World Bipolar Day....
On my fb page every year I post, posts re bipolar and having it etc to raise awareness etc Last October marked 10 years of my diagnosis. Anyways I should of done this thing then but I did it yesterday instead... I messaged 3 girls who helped me seek help back in 2009/2010. But these 3 girls have equally ignored me since then. But cause I can't let things go I contact them every so often and they mostly ignore me. Anyways yesterday I apologised for the way I was back in 2009 and thanked them each in their own ways. They all said no need to thank them etc but I felt I had to. What do you guys think? Sent from my SM-G980F using Tapatalk |
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bizi, buddha1too, gina_re, HALLIEBETH87, RoxanneToto, simplydivine1030, Soupe du jour, TunedOut
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Bizi is bizi
bizi
happines is a decision
Member Since: Nov 2005
Location: cajun country
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#2
They ignored you thanking you allows you freedom I think.
bizi __________________ 150mg of lamictal 2x a day haldol 5mg 2x a day 1mg of cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, 4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon PRN Remeron 15mg at night, zyprexa10mg under tongue, requip2mg. |
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buddha1too
We are all Buddhas becoming.
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#3
I'm in AA, & our steps are big on "making amends" to people we harmed during our drinking days. We try to view "making amends" somewhat differently than "apologizing." Sure, we formally "apologize" to people, but given the damage we sometimes did while drinking, folks sometimes continue to maintain a distance. "Amending" something means to make a change. In AA, we do that by staying sober one day at a time so we don't make the same mistakes over again.
I realize this isn't the addictions support section, but to my mind, it might be helpful for you to view "making amends" for your untreated BD behaviors in a similar light. I know I hurt others when I was untreated, or would play with my meds. I lost friends due to my BD. I try not to beat myself up, though...or to apologize again & again. I'm "amending" things by following a treatment plan & trying to stay mentally healthy one day at a time. That's all I can do. Alcoholism & bipolar disorder are both diseases. I don't think we'd feel a need to repeatedly apologize to people if we had Parkinson's, or some other disease. It's very decent of you to touch base with old friends, but the past is the past. Perhaps if you try to approach them as the healthier version of yourself that you are today it will relieve you of any discomfort you might have about approaching them. You might wind up feeling better about yourself, too. Just some thoughts... |
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#4
A couple years ago I desperately tried looking online for a couple people that I was really mean to back in 2007 at school and I wanted to apologize. I can’t find them but I tried so hard and even asked other people who I barely knew if they had any contact info for them I never did find them. I felt so horribly guilty for what I said. I finally made peace with myself. Bully’s never apologized to me though and I’ve had a lot. I got called the R word a lot in high school. I often wonder how they feel now. Some of them are in jail now for unrelated things to me. Jr high and high school sucked though.
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Bizi is bizi
bizi
happines is a decision
Member Since: Nov 2005
Location: cajun country
Posts: 10,830
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#5
Quote:
I am sorry I don't know what the "R" word is. bizi __________________ 150mg of lamictal 2x a day haldol 5mg 2x a day 1mg of cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, 4-5 peri-colace for chronic constipation multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine at noon PRN Remeron 15mg at night, zyprexa10mg under tongue, requip2mg. |
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NoahsArk30
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#6
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MickeyCheeky
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#7
You did well by apologizing in my opinion but unfortunately whether they accept them or not and whether they decide to reply back is something that you don't have a lot of control over i think. i agree with the other wise and wonderful posters in that the past is the past. Please don't let it haunt you that much. Try to focus on the present and future. Hugs. Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @Miss Laura, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!
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*Beth*, Soupe du jour
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Elder
Soupe du jour
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Location: Czechia
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#8
I agree with bizi that those girls thanking you for the apology should free you now. I hope that if they do not agree to friendship again, that you can simply move on. I know it can hurt, but that's a sad fact of life, in some cases. Buddah1too's reference to the role of apology "amends" in 12-Step programs is just as much for the person with the illness than for others they harmed. The word "Sorry" is significant, but more so is the change in behavior and attitude.
It is difficult when an illness (like bipolar disorder) is seemingly the "bad guy" more than the person with the illness, themself. Mental illness will probably always bring with it stigma because the average person in this world thinks everything manufactured from the brain is conscious choice, which it isn't. Such notions reflect lack of understanding/education about mental disorders, and frankly, simplified and reactive thinking. I can't blame only people without mental illness for unfair reactions to the behavior. Even people with mental illness stigmatize others with the illness, and even punish themselves for having it. It also must be noted that our behavior is not strictly manufactured by a mental disorder. We are still people with personalities and issues who DO make choices. Choosing and sticking to treatment plans, the best one can, should indeed receive credit. Yes, effort counts. But again, to some, it's not enough. Grudge holders are very numerous in this world. Lack of tolerance is sadly commonplace. People divorce at high rates. Friends become enemies or reject. It's not just happening to you, or me, but pretty much everyone on earth, at times. C'est la vie! |
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bizi, buddha1too
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